Aldivan Teixeira Torres

The Dark Night Of The Soul


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approach, the dark clouds in the sky gather even stronger, completely covering the sun, leaving the day looking like night. Watching the scenery, I hear Kualopu pronouncing unintelligible words, as trying to expel his occult forces. When he does that, the dark clouds moving rapidly envelop all of my body. At the same time, a circle of light surrounds me, holding me hopelessly. The next moment, the gravitational forces are shaken and a kind of time tunnel is formed. Immediately I am pushed against the tunnel, and when touching it I am subjected to a sequence of visions. In them I travel to the world of spirits, more exactly for a meeting between the most developed spirits. At the said meeting, they are sited, they talk democratically, specifically about the partition of the opposing forces. In the end, it is agreed the performance of each one and the choice aspects in relation to the dark night of the soul. It is necessary to point out that nothing is very clear, because those mysteries are not given to the human being. After the meeting ending, a baby crying was heard and life began.

      The childhood is a period of discovery and finding the self. In this period, the family has got a primordial role in the formation of each individual. The parents have the duty of being the moral foundation necessary to make just and good persons. Still talking about the childhood, it is also at this stage that the extra-sensory phenomena are at their sharpest. Particularly, my visions reveal some of those moments: The vampire of the haunted house, the woman that rises from the ground to frighten, the dead person asking for help to find so desired light, amongst other moments. In each of those situations appears the despair of the unexplainable and the questions that seem never stopping. Are we alone in the Universe? The door between the two worlds is it really closed? Who had the answers to these questions could write marvellous books.

      Yet the adolescence and adult phase are the most adequate times for solidifying the concepts acquired in childhood. In my case, it is also the phase of doubts and hope, in general and particular. A dream appears: Aiming to be a writer. It starts with a simple collection of biblical passages of the books of Ecclesiastes, knowledge and proverbs. Sometime later, the crisis come and the vision of a medium appears. Soon after, came unemployment and the start of the dark night of the soul. At this moment, the circle breaks up and I come in contact with all that was bad for me and that made me believe that I was not a worthy being. The shadows of the dark night got stronger and the voices convict me of something I did not have control of and it was absolutely not my fault. I rebel and shout loudly: I am also son of God! With this attitude, the vision of the dark night disappear and I feel better.

      Then I begin to see my trajectory that drives me to this day. I leave home, happy with the last string of hope to see my dream come true. Searching for the dream, I arrive at Mimoso, climb the mountain Ororuba and reach the top, meet the guardian lady, the ghost, the youth and the little boy; I accomplish challenges and finally I enter the dangerous cave of despair, the cave capable of realizing the deepest dreams. Inside it, avoiding traps and passing the scenes, I finally arrive, with great effort at a secret room, where I became the seer, a special and super-gifted being, able to understand the most troubled hearts. Almost ready, I leave the cave and there it starts an unimaginable adventure on the timeline. My objective in the journey was to put right injustices, help someone to find himself and getting together the opposing forces. The result of all that is a book with the same name. After having seen all that, the sequence of the visions breaks down and again the dark night gets closer, and with that, the circle of light reappears in me and leads me to run through the future without seeing it clearly. Quickly, I get to the end of the line, I die, go to judgement, and the dark night remains around me. In the audience, the night lays claim to possess me in account of all my past actions. The judge listen to the arguments and I remain in expectation. A moment later, an abyss open under my feet and I am sucked fiercely into it. I begin to fall very fast in a time interval that seems an eternity. When I am almost at the bottom, I am caught by strong hands and arms. I quickly look to the being that saved me, and it is an angel with beautiful wings. On its face it is written: Repentance. We go back the same way and the dark night no longer has any power over me. A while later I arrive in Heaven and I am going to live in the company of the most evolved beings of the Universe, working with them to maintain the miracle of life. And so, a new phase begins.

      A new day appears: the birds sing, the sun appears and the morning breeze envelops all my body and awakes me in this mystic atmosphere that is the sacred mountain. At this exact moment, I think of the night before, concluding that it was a night to forget, because did not bring back good memories, due to the fact that the ground was hard and the unusual dream that I had. What did the mountain expect from me? I think that it is a relentless will to win on a subject that I proposed to learn more about it and thus evolve. Trying to gather the necessary strength for that, I get up, have a stretch, have breakfast and see nothing more nothing less than the mountain’s guardian lady. Our eyes meet and in a quick assessment I realize that she looks younger than the last time we met each other. I then decide to start a conversation.

      — Guardian lady?! Is it really you my lady? I was desperately looking for you.

      — I knew, but I don’t know the reason. To what honour do I owe the dreamer’s visit, son of God, whom I haven’t seen for so long?

      Even before I tried to answer, we immediate embrace, and this leaves me more relaxed and confident. At that moment I was absolutely certain that I could count on her help to unravel the mysteries and answer my most profound anxieties. After the moment of euphoria, we separate from each other, we sat facing each other and we restarted the conversation.

      —I came searching for answers about the dark night of the soul, a moment that I already lived about two years ago, but that still leaves me with many doubts and anxieties. Then I had reflect for a while and got to the conclusion that the mountain brought me so much happiness in the past it might be the resumption of a new journey, fiery and dangerous.

      — I understand. But could you give me an idea to what you call the dark night of the soul?

      —Well, despite of the fact that I have not evolved sufficiently, I can give you a basic idea. Dark night is exactly that moment when we disconnect ourselves from the sacred, from God, and only think about our own vanities. It is a moment where the darkness is intense and this may condemn or even save a person.

      —An appropriate definition, but incomplete. Learn young one, the dark night is much more profound that what we imagine and only the more evolved spirits are really able to control it and understand it. Are you ready to risk once more? If you are, I think I can help you in your journey. However, I must warn you that you are not going to find exactly here all the answers that you need. It is going to be necessary a lot of courage and determination from your side to face new and unforeseen challenges.

      —I will do everything the mistress orders me. You can believe that I am prepared to go right to the bottom of the issue, even if I have to make difficult and complicated sacrifices. Well, what will it be the first step this time?

      —Firstly, you will have to know deeply the seven cardinal sins, because normally they open the curtains of darkness. With me you will have three challenges, and if you pass them you will go to the second phase. In total there are three phases before somebody is finally able to understand the meaning of the dark night. Be prepared, because it is not going to be easy. Besides, I must let you know that those who walk this way face so many risks that many have already lost their lives in it. Do you still want to carry on? If you say yes, be aware that your first challenge is scheduled for tonight.

      —Yes. I am prepared to pay the price for the arduous knowledge. I am ready.

      —Spend the day well. I will be back tonight.

      With those words, the guardian lady said fondly farewell. I begin to get ready for the night. What will it be awaiting me? Let’s continue together, reader.

      I continue to get ready, without noticing time passes and it is midday. From then on, I concentrate on the lunch, because I was already feeling hungry. I take the food that I brought from