my experience, I found myself living high and with purpose and I learnt to give adversity meaning. Life became so intensely rewarding, and I felt truly indestructible. I lived what I loved and believed nothing could ever take that away. It wasn’t possible to lose the light in darkness ever again, because I had been through so much, and I felt so strong. Little did I expect the challenges that came my way in the following years, all of which have proved to be solid foundations for this book and its message:
GETTING NAKED IS ABOUT LOSING YOURSELF TO FIND YOURSELF.
Getting naked is scary. We go through life believing we know who we are and how to live. Personal challenge can slowly creep up, causing us to question our reality, inducing stress and anxiety, or it can happen instantaneously and leave us deep in shock. Either way, we may try to cling on to the threads of who we think we are, as we try to remain who we think we should be. We may try to avoid the nakedness we fear at all costs, but the battle is often exhausting. Trying to be the same person once you have experienced extreme emotional challenge is impossible. But what is possible is becoming an even better person, living a more fulfilling life.
The truth is, life isn’t plain sailing, and it never will be. Adversity will occur, as will tears and heartbreak. You can’t always choose what happens to you, but you do have the freedom to choose how you deal with it.
It’s inevitable that when you tumble to the ground in pieces, you will cry, feel hurt, torn or devastatingly broken. In this initial state, it’s unlikely that you will be able to see clearly or make sense of your situation, and you need to allow yourself to pass through this stage; it shows that you have a heart and have normal human emotions. Giving yourself this time and accepting these feelings is important.
What is not normal however is to begin to ‘live’ in these feelings, believing that what you are experiencing is all that there is. It’s acceptable to move to the house of hurt and pain for a short while, but it’s not acceptable to lock yourself in and throw away the key.
The key to happiness lies in accepting and embracing nakedness. It’s about recognising that YOU WILL CHANGE as a result. Refusing to change keeps you in emotional pain. Life becomes about ‘existing’, rather than ‘living’. The ‘nudies’ that triumph through adversity accept that they need to change. They don’t know how, but they are willing to learn, and they seek ways to learn. This book is one of those ways.
We forget we were born to be happy. We forget we were born living from our hearts with limitless potential. As we grow and learn, we end up living lives influenced by others and their expectations. We move out of our hearts and live only from our heads. We disconnect from our spirits and our soul, believing that all we see is all that life has to offer. Those of us who get naked through adversity are the lucky ones. We get the wonderful opportunity to find out who we really are. We get the opportunity to move out of our heads, and back to our hearts. The naked people find their way back home.
My words, born of my own personal experiences, will show you how to use your difficulties to find out who you really are. Each chapter will take you a step closer to home. I’ve been to the changing room time and time again, and stepped out with a bigger smile on my face and more happiness in my heart every time. This book is your invitation to step into a space where you will be guided, inspired and supported by my words. My ‘changing room tips’ will help you to re-dress with happiness, and be who you truly deserve to be. I know, because I’ve lived every single word. I’m walking, talking proof.
I’m reminded of the quote:
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
With regards to moving through personal challenge or adversity I’d like to ask you to totally obliterate those words. (No disrespect to Ralph Waldo Emerson.) Get a pen right now, and scribble through them in this book, I’m serious. Grab a pencil, or a pen, and do it right now. It’s your first changing room tip.
Then find the brightest highlighter or coloured pen that you have and circle these words instead:
“Go where there is a path, and follow the trail.”
Why try to work it out by yourself? Why not learn from others who have found gifts and beautiful lives through adversity? In this book I lay out the path, and you will find that following the trail will help you with whatever challenge you may be facing. I invite you now to turn the pages and step into your journey.
You are now officially part of the ‘nudie’ club. Enjoy.
CHANGING ROOM THIS WAY
Before advancing, the ‘soul’ customer services department has a special message for you. They have requested that you read carefully with thought, and sign and date below to confirm your acknowledgement.
We would like to remind all customers that life is a truly beautiful and very special gift. Even with receipt of birth, we cannot accept exchanges or offer refunds, and we certainly do not give credit for years unused. In the event of you finding your gift unsatisfactory, we suggest that you visit the changing room as often as possible, to make all adjustments necessary.
I confirm that I will commit to making all adjustments necessary until I find myself truly happy with my gift.
Name.............................................. Date...........................................
THE ONLY WAY
TO FIND TRUE
HAPPINESS IS TO
RISK GETTING NAKED
TO FIND OUT WHO
YOU REALLY ARE,
AND WHAT YOU ARE
TRULY CAPABLE OF
BEING.
GETTING NAKED – THE FIRST GIFT
In 1997 I got naked. Totally stripped bare, left vulnerable and exposed. Everything that I thought I was disappeared along with my hair within just a few short weeks. The only signs of the upcoming devastation had been two small, bald patches on my scalp, which revealed themselves in the bathroom mirror one morning.
I’d just given birth to my second child Brook, which delighted his two-year-old sister Jadine. Four weeks later, I began to get naked.
Juggling motherhood and waitressing in the evenings, I began to notice that my hair was thinning rapidly. Having read that this was very common after childbirth I wasn’t too alarmed initially but then in the mirror I noticed the bald patches on my scalp; two shiny bald spots about the size of ten pence pieces. My stomach began churning as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. I went to visit my doctor, who told me not to worry. He reassured me that it was very common for women to suffer with a little hair loss after giving birth. I left the surgery still feeling concerned, and I had every right to be. Over the next couple of weeks I began finding huge amounts of hair on my pillow upon waking in the mornings, and noticed masses of hair falling out while I was in the shower. I became consumed with fear and obsessed with feeling my scalp. Repeatedly my fingers explored the smooth skin, hoping for signs of re-growth, but the strange waxy-feeling bald patches stayed the same. What I was losing on my head was continually on my mind. I checked my hair with mirrors repeatedly throughout the day. Every time I looked in the mirror I realised that my fear was justified: new bald patches every day, bald patches joining together, and endless amounts of hair creating their own carpet wherever I walked. Disbelief, anxiety, and crying quickly became part of my daily routine. The only break I got from my feelings and my thoughts was during the three evenings a week when I worked as a waitress in a local restaurant. Being so busy, I hardly had time to think about myself during these shifts as I gave the customers my full attention; this was short-lived however because my hair loss quickly became visibly apparent. I quit my job knowing that my hair would be falling into food. Besides, I was convinced that no one would want to eat in front of me, looking as repulsive as I did.
I