moved back to San Francisco. On her second day there, she met a young man named John Robinson whom I adore and who fits in perfectly as another member of our ‘J-crew.’ (My late husband John and I gave all our children names that start with the letter J.)
“My son, JB (John Blake) Zimmerman, is thirty and living the life of a bachelor in Santa Monica, California. He graduated from the University of Arizona and always knew he wanted a career in television and movie production. Like his dad (who was a CPA), he loves movies. The two of them watched movies together in the den from the time JB was about two. JB is working for several production companies that are defining what Millennials and Centennials want to see—short-form, online, and 24/7.
“The silver lining to my divorce is my two stepchildren, Meredith and Christopher Eves. I may be divorced from their father, but I choose not to be divorced from them. Meredith is married to a most wonderful person, Conor Flynn. They have two adorable children, Kieran and Gigi, and live in Connecticut. Chris is working in Los Angeles, making his mark on music videos.”
Moving On
“A lot of people assumed that, since I worked in radio and television for more than twenty-five years, I would be set financially. Oh, how I wish that were true. Yes, I made a good living, but life interfered. I need to work to make sure that I can take care of myself in retirement. I loathe thinking that I might have to rely upon my children.
“I am a firm believer that you must tell the universe what you need. In 2008, I needed a job. The job goddess heard my plea, as a great job landed in my lap. The President of the Academy of Art University in San Francisco, Dr. Elisa Stephens, called me with an opportunity to start a brand new department—a School of Communications and Media Technologies.
“In two months (and with a lot of help), we built a studio, hired faculty, and designed a four-year degree program as well as a master's program. It's truly amazing how students can make you feel young and inspire you to re-invent yourself. As the founding director of the department, I'm having a blast! Of course, I've had to learn a new language that includes words like ‘curriculum,’ ‘syllabus,’ and ‘rubrics.’ I've made mistakes—bad hires, accepting student excuses too easily, cramming way too much information into one semester. But here's the good news: You can transfer your skills from one career to another. I'm a trained reporter; I'm always asking questions. And now, I'm asking questions of my students. What happened to that assignment? Why not take a risk? What is it that you really want to accomplish?”
Am I Dating . . . or Not?
“Not.
“At this point, if I have a free night, I'd rather spend it at home watching an episode of This Is Us rather than sitting across from a man in a restaurant and having to stroke yet another male ego! As my friend Mary Les Casto (Founder of Casto Travel—a global company) says: ‘There's no man good enough for me. I'm good enough for me.’ Here! Here!
“Did I mention that I redesigned my ring after my divorce? I decided that I deserved every karat of that diamond ring from my second husband, and I really wanted to wear it every day. But I didn't want the ring to be the same as when he gave it to me—too many unpleasant memories and bad karma too! I redesigned it and wear it on my right finger rather proudly every day.
“I may be alone, but I'm not lonely. Life is full. And I purposefully keep it that way. I continue to serve on the boards of Kristi Yamaguchi's Always Dream Foundation and the San Francisco-Osaka Sister City Association. I just went to Osaka to celebrate the sixtieth anniversary of the two cities' partnership. I also completed six years of service as chair of the Representation Project, whose mission is gender equality, and six years of service on the US-Japan Council. And after ten and a half years, I stepped down from the corporate board of the Bank of Marin.
“Last year, Deborah asked me to come to Indianapolis for her Indiana Conference for Women to interview Oscar-winning actress and author Diane Keaton. Interview Annie Hall? Yes, count me in! In reading Keaton's books, I learned that she is self-conscious about her thinning hair, that she refuses to get a face lift, and that she adopted her children when she was fifty and fifty-five. She told us on stage she is soon to be seventy-two. Bravo, Diane!
“At a recent dinner party, I was seated next to LeRoy Morishita, President of the California State University, East Bay, who told me there are no Asian-Americans on the Board of Trustees for the California State University system. I was appalled. I graduated from California State University, Fresno, so I have a particular interest. Hmmmm, I thought, I should toss my name into the pot as a potential Trustee. Women, we can't be shy; we must find a way to have a seat at the table. Stay tuned! I feel as if I'm just getting started!”
5
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE BLUE-HAIRED LADY.
I was so far from the seat of power, but my naïveté worked to my advantage. When I was told that the studio passed on my first pilot, I thought that was a good thing—you know, like “passed” in college.
LINDA BLOODWORTH-THOMASON, TV PRODUCER AND WRITER (1947–)
Blue Hair on Fridays
“I wondered if he noticed her blue hair? He showed no reaction to the fact that the elderly woman sitting across from him in his opulent banker's office had just about the bluest hair he had ever seen. I am Deborah Stephens and that blue-haired lady was my grandmother.
“Her blue hair, combined with a matter-of-fact demeanor, penetrating eyes, and down-home hospitality, left no doubt that he, Mr. Banker, was just a minor obstacle standing between her and what she wanted—a loan. It never occurred to her that there were reasons she might not succeed: her lack of collateral (her home wasn't in her name), no credit rating, and the fact that, in those days (a mere thirty-some years ago), a woman could not even have a credit card in her own name. Nonetheless, I knew Mr. Banker was no match for the blue-haired lady.
“Her silver mop of hair was always tinted blue on Fridays—a tint, a curl, and a comb-out every Friday morning, no matter what. The whole process left her feeling beautiful, powerful, and bold. And so I came to love the blue hair almost as much as I loved her. I also grew up believing that all confident women of a certain age tinted their hair blue!
“That day was a defining moment for me. Yes, my grandmother received the loan—a college student loan, for me. Her negotiation skills could blow the doors open in any corporate boardroom. Yet she was uneducated and poor. Her wealth was comprised of deep religious beliefs and unconditional kindness. She also possessed the tenacity of a bulldog, as she never let the word ‘no’ stand in her way.
“What my grandmother lacked in cash, she made up for in an abundance of dreams. She had an unrelenting belief in me, greater than any belief I held about myself. No matter the circumstances or challenges, she was determined that I would go places in life that she and my mother had only dreamed about. Every woman should have a blue-haired lady like my grandmother in her life. She is the woman who thinks you are terrific even when you don't feel terrific—the woman who always believes that anything is possible, no matter the odds.
“Thanks to her, I attended college, landed an exciting corporate job, and made more money in a year than my mother had made in ten. Years later, I co-founded a management consulting firm, wrote six books, and gave speeches all over the world. Consulting with leaders (including a US President), I had the opportunity to work with some of America's most powerful people in a world that had been closed to my grandmother. Yet she was my inspiration.”
Obstacles and Possibilities
“Obstacles and possibilities often meld together to form defining moments in life, sometimes appearing just when we think we have life figured out. Unfortunately, smartly compartmentalized lives can be turned upside down in a matter of moments. One such moment involved my husband, Mike.