Dave Ph.D. Slagle

Gallivanting on Guam


Скачать книгу

also trained Mrs. Fujikama. It began one day when one of my clients, Mrs. Fujikama introduced me to her husband, Mr. Fujikama. All I knew about them was that they were Japanese Nationals living on O’ahu. Mrs. Fujikama brought her husband to meet me one day because he wanted to thank me for doing a good job of training his wife. He was very pleased with the results as she had lost 15 pounds and was now very toned. “Like a fashion model” he said to me, while admiring his wife. Mr. Fujikama thanked me and left us to our workout. After I finished training Mrs. Fujikama at 12:30 and would not have another appointment until 4:30 so I decided to go to the I Love Country Café for some food. As I walked past the front desk, one of the front desk staff called me over and handed me an envelope. It was one of the Honolulu Club envelopes with something bulky inside. I opened the envelope and there was a note that said to meet Mr. Fujikama for lunch at the Kahala Mandarin Hotel. Mr. Fujikama had left one of his cars for me on the 3rd floor parking level. Reaching into the envelope my hand felt a key; it was a black key with the Ferrari logo. In the far corner of the parking garage sat a brand new, bright red Ferrari 360 Modena. I remember my hands shaking when I opened the door and sat inside the car. Mr. Fujikama’s note stated that the 360 Modena has six gears with a semi-automatic F1 gearbox and that the shifters are actually paddles behind the steering wheel. It also instructed me on how to shift the gears by placing my hands on the steering wheel and reaching my fingers back to feel the shift paddles. The right paddle is to engage the transmission and up shift, the left paddle is for downshifting. The floor pedals are standard, brake on the left, accelerator on the right. I started the powerful car and stared at the dash as an array of gauges came to life. There were less than ninety miles on the odometer. The engine whined like an Indy car as I slowly engaged the right paddle and smoothly rolled forward. I was on my way. I instantly became intoxicated with power and I was sucked into the surrealism of a reality somewhere between Ferris Bueller’s Day off and Magnum PI but it was me, driving the streets of Honolulu in a brand new, dazzling red Ferrari 360 Modena. I was on my way to meet with a man for lunch to discuss something, anything, it didn’t really matter. I was driving a new Ferrari down the H1 freeway, the experience, amazing and the reason, a mystery to me.

      After valet parking the Ferrari, I walked into the Kahala Mandarin hotel and was greeted at Hoku’s restaurant by Mr. Fujikama and his lunch date.

      “Please allow me to introduce Ms. Tomoko Tanaka.” He said to me. She was stunning, a beautiful Japanese girl who I had recognized from the Shiseido advertisements in the Honolulu Advertiser. That was the day that I became the personal trainer of Miss Tomoko Tanaka, mistress of Mr. Fujikama. His wife, Mrs. Fujikama drove a Porsche Carrera GT and lived in a mansion while his mistress, Miss Tanaka lived in Nauru Towers and drove a Porsche Boxster. And me, I kept my mouth shut and drove a Ferrari. Well, at least once in awhile. For my part was simply to be the personal trainer of them both, wife and mistress. I chose to keep my opinions out of my reality. Yes, I have been to strip clubs, hostess bars and mistress bars.

      “Where is the men’s room?” I ask Mr. Saru.

      “In the back, at the end of the hallway” Mr. Saru says, pointing towards the back of the club.

      Fuck it if there aren’t four private rooms in the back of Kitano Zaka. By the time I get back to our booth, Mr. Saru and Adipo are singing a duet. Ironically, the song is ‘Love and Honesty’ by the Hawaiian Style Band. How ironic, singing about love and honesty with his mistress and I wonder if he is honest at all. At the end of the song the bar girls are clapping, the other patrons are clapping, Mamason is clapping and even Omar stopped pouring a drink to join in the applause. Everyone is clapping for Mr. Saru and Adipo, a married man and his mistress and I am familiar with such things.

      Chapter 3. Cest La Vie

      “I live in the tri-village of Mongmong-Toto-Maite, specifically in the village of Mongmong.” I say into the telephone receiver, trying to explain to Jay Merrill exactly where I live. He keeps repeating the question. “Mong? Mong? Mongmong?”

      I’m starting to think it’s the connection. I would switch to my cell phone but Guam Cell’s tower doesn’t have any better reception than the Guam Telephone Authority’s land lines.

      “Yes, Jay, Mongmong-Toto-Maite” I say, sounding out the phonetic enunciation for him. “Mah ung mah ung Toe Toe Mighty. It’s a tri-village, nice place. Not too far from Tropics Gym. I live down the road from the Nuestra Senora de Las Aguas Catholic Church which is not really close to any water at all. There are about twenty three Catholic churches on Guam, can you believe it? I guess it makes sense. The island is like ninety five percent catholic or something like that. Oh, and as far as I can tell, I am the only haole in the entire tri village area. My apartment building is inhabited mostly by local Chamorro, great people always inviting me to BBQ’s at the pool. The rest of the village seems to be outer islanders, people from Chuuk, Rota, Tinian, Palau and maybe Saipan. Specifically I live in the village of Mongmong but I am going to get a P.O. Box at the post office in Tamuning. They don’t have mail boxes at my apartment building in fact I don’t even know the name of the street because there isn’t a street sign” I say.

      “Really, no street sign and no mail delivery, where did you say you would get a P.O. Box, Tumon?” he asks.

      “No, Jay, Tamuning, Tah Moo Ning” I say again, sounding it out phonetically “my P.O. Box will be in Tamuning. Hey, your company has offices on Guam and Saipan. Don’t you know the names of all the villages?” I ask.

      “Well, we have offices in Hagatna but I don’t know any of the other villages. How many are there? “ He asks.

      “I don’t know, Jay, like seventeen or eighteen other villages.” I say.

      “So how are things going? What have you been doing since you got there?” He asks.

      “Well, let’s see, It’s been three weeks since I arrived on Guam and last night I finally slept in my own bed. Or at least it’s my new bed. The new bed that is now my bed, here in my apartment which isn’t quite what I had imagined when we were drafting my contract. I have a two bedroom, two bath apartment. They decorated and furnished it. It even has a new washer and dryer in the apartment. Oh and air-conditioning. The building is concrete and my apartment has central air-conditioning. I keep it about sixty two degrees inside. “I say.

      “Oh, yah, Guam is really hot and humid but why do you keep it so cold?” He asks.

      “Yah, well here’s the thing. I read all those stories about the damn snakes popping up everywhere. So I figured that if my apartment was cold, the snakes would stay out. But I was cautious opening the kitchen drawers and closet doors the first few days. Anyway, my place is too cold for reptiles even the geckos stay out.” I say.

      “Wait, you have a two bedroom?” He asks.

      “Yah, I thought I was going to be living in a one bedroom at Alupang Cove but the auditing account for Mr. Saru decided to rent me a two bedroom in Tamuning. The pitch to me was that it has more space but I know that they are saving well over five hundred dollars a month on the lease. And I don’t need more space. I hardly have anything and I ‘m not planning on buying a lot of crap. Alupang Cove is right on the beach. It would have been a great place to live. Mongmong is . . . well, Mongmong is not that bad. It’s just not what I was promised but I can live with this compromise.” I say

      “Are you really ok with that? Maybe you should say something.” Jay says.

      “Well, they have been very gracious and it’s not like I have to pay for anything, it’s just not where I would have chosen to live. But it’s not that bad and I don’t plan on spending much time here anyway. The gym is going to take a lot of my time. It has been grossly mismanaged. The interim general manager is a jackass and a thief. Mr. Saru is going to fire him today. I joined the gym as a member to gain some perspective without anyone knowing that I am the new general manager. It has been an eye opening experience but at least I know what I have to do now. Let’s see what else. Well, I have been to a lot of restaurants. Mr. Saru and I have coffee everyday at Jungle Java in Tumon before he goes to the office. We usually meet up again for dinner. I have been trying some of the small local places at lunch Jay,