Lucille Orr

How to Ask for What You Want and Get It!


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I was constantly travelling between my homes and businesses in three states. When I sold my computer businesses in 1979 and joined the Gloria Marshall figure salons as their State Manager in New South Wales my American boss, Amanda, said to me one day. “Have you ever thought about why you achieve your business goals Lucille, but never have any luck finding the right man to share your private life?”

      “Because I can’t afford to mix business and pleasure,” I replied instantly. “Even though I meet interesting and challenging businessmen I can’t date them. There are men who are attracted to me because they think I’m wealthy owning several businesses but they are definitely the wrong types to get involved with. I guess I’m too scared to get serious with anyone,” I sighed.

      Her solution was simple. “Plan your private life the same way you plan your business,” she said, “write goals for your private happiness and list the attributes you want to find in the man who will father your child,” she told me, as I’d shared with her my longing to become a mother following a bad car accident I’d experienced in 1976. I went home that evening and wrote out a list describing the perfect man for me and soon decided it would be impossible to find all I wanted in one man. The man I documented was a robot and couldn’t possibly be real!

      The one good thing this exercise did for me was to make me stop looking for a man and get on with my career. I decided I’d never marry, but have a child one day when I was ready. My mother was disgusted when I told her my plan but she didn’t try to influence me to change my mind. Luckily for me the man I chose to father my baby had many of the attributes I’d listed and I did marry.

      In business, as in our private lives, we’re dealing with relationships. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a business partner or bank manager we must find people who are compatible to work with.

      If you’re uncomfortable when talking to your accountant or solicitor don’t use them. Find someone you can communicate with who makes good sense when they speak.

      I can remember back in the seventies having a terrible time trying to understand my solicitor and accountant. To help me decipher what they were trying to explain to me, I’d openly record the meetings in their offices and replay them several times to myself until I understood their advice, before I’d give them my answer. At that time I was employing over 100 women on my national payroll and some big decisions had to be made at times and I didn’t want to make mistakes. Don’t be intimidated by professional people, especially if you’re paying for their services, ask like I did if you can record the meeting. No one ever said ‘no’ to my request.

      BANK MANAGERS ARE IMPORTANT TO YOUR BUSINESS

      I enjoy the time I spend with my bank managers. I’ve never done business with a manager who produces the rule book when I’m asking for money. Once you gain confidence in yourself and you’re ready to ask for a loan, you’ll discover that bank managers can use their own discretion when deciding if you’re a good risk or not.

      As early as 1966 I was borrowing money with no collateral to secure the loan. I’ve managed to gain more than a 100% loan on commercial property by borrowing against the bank’s valuation. Did you know this was possible?

      With the right bank manager handling your affairs almost anything can be achieved. There must be a trust between you and the person you’re asking for money. This can be built slowly by becoming a regular client of the bank, however in my case I’ve always managed to create instant rapport with bank managers. If you don’t feel you can communicate with the manager don’t bother to ask him for a loan.

      When you’re sitting in front of the right bank manager you’ll feel confident to ask him or her for the loan. Go to every branch of every bank in your city until you find a strong communication with the human being you’re dealing with on the other side of the desk.

      Don’t get upset, while you’re looking, remember anything worth having in life is worth waiting for, so people tell me. I’ve never been a very patient person: I’ve been lucky to find what I’m looking for fairly quickly. My way of testing people is to get very excited about my project and if their eyes light up I know I’ve made a worthwhile connection.

      BUSINESS PARTNERSHIPS

      Be very careful when thinking about joining someone else in business. Start something small together to make sure you’re compatible. One of the best ways to meet a future business partner is to join the Enterprise Workshops in your state.

      The 12 month programme helps you to learn how to operate a business and during this time you may be lucky and find a suitable business partnership within the group. In 1992 Mary was 43 when she met her business partner Peter, 49 at an Enterprise Workshop in Canberra. As they had enjoyed meeting during the twelve month workshop, once the programme ended they decided to continue their business relationship by developing a computer database of over 22,000 public training courses, seminars, conferences, consultants and training resources.

      Once complete they began marketing the database on an annual subscription basis to large corporations and government departments in all states of Australia. The easy to use system to recall information, at the touch of a keyboard, made Mary and Peter independently wealthy in only four years.

      PREPARE A MARRIAGE CONTRACT

      If you fall in love and the person is not perfect in everyone else’s eyes, ignore them, if you’re happy. But make sure you watch for warning signals and don’t let anyone take advantage of you, control your mind and money. I’ve met women who’ve been very well established in business and they’ve lost everything within months of living with the wrong person. Remember that marriage isn’t necessarily the answer to happiness. Many marriages break up even when couples are in their fifties or sixties and been together for years.

      I’ve proven prenuptial agreements can protect your assets and if the person you want to marry really loves you he or she will be happy to sign an agreement. It makes good sense to go into a relationship with your eyes wide open and your money and worldly goods secured. If you have children from a previous marriage, you owe it to them to make sure their inheritance is in tact.

      A good accountant will explain the benefits of Family and Unit Trusts. This is another form of security you can arrange prior to going into a partnership of any kind. Remember marriage and business partnerships can be very risky. You could be taking on someone else’s debts.

      Have you ever thought about this? I know it’s difficult while romantically sipping champagne with your lover to discuss money matters but many, women in particular, need to open their eyes and not let their hearts rule their heads. I hear too many stories about bankruptcies and breakdowns told to me by women who only a few years before, were on top of the world, financially.

      After losing everything I owned in 1967 due to my first husband’s gambling habit, I became nervous of getting seriously involved with a business or life partner again. But I couldn’t go through life alone forever, worrying about something that may never happen. I’ve proved, the thing you worry about more than 60% of the time, will happen to you. It works in reverse as well. If you think positively all the time and expect everything to work out the way you want it to, it will!

      Why don’t you test what I’m saying and start thinking very, very positively. Expect everyone to be good to you and you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Happiness is infectious and you’ll attract happy people into your life if you stop worrying. Relax and believe in new people who enter your life. Let them know you trust them and they’ll prove to you they can be trusted.

      In recent years I’ve become very much like my mother with the attitude that everyone is reliable until they prove they can’t be trusted. I’ve found with this attitude I’m attracting wonderful friends and great business associates into my life.

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