Nadia Rexler

INCANDESCENCE


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our new Supervisor over Ghostwriting," I informed.

      "But you can call me tonight," Charlie finished.

      Kat's face froze in the most unamused manner which made me have to suck in my bottom lip again.

      "I'm joking... Charlie will do just fine."

      "Well we're going on the tour, make sure you make his ID card before the end of the day," I tried to break her glare.

      "Of course, Miss Howard... Mr. Burh," she said before hiding her face behind her computer.

      "I don't think she likes me," Charlie stated once we were out of sight.

      "Don't worry, she doesn't like me either," I chuckled.

      "She calls everyone she doesn't like by their last name," he deducted, "She must like Mr. Cordell then."

      "She does, but then again everyone loves Leo, you'll see when you meet him. Let's get the tour started."

      We walked around for an hour and a half talking about the company and laughing about stupid things. I told him everything he needed to know about our business since he would, in a lot of ways, be mine and Leo's, anchorman.

      The back-office departments were on the first floor, meaning the mailroom, sales, and accounts receivables departments. Account management was upstairs, specializing in, Editing, Ghostwriting, Marketing and Recruiting. As the Editor in Chief, it saddened me to give up ghostwriting, which was formally under me as well, but Charlie appeared to be the right fit. It wasn't exactly what he'd signed up for and I sensed he was a little nervous about running an entire department.

      "If you have any questions just ask," I assured him.

      "You know, I had more questions I wanted to ask you yesterday," he smirked.

      "Oh right, for my interview," I said with air quotes around the last word, "ask away."

      "When did you have your first kiss?" he asked honestly.

      "That's not very professional," I said wide-eyed.

      "Depends on the profession you're in."

      I narrowed my eyes and raised one of my eyebrows instinctively. Letting my body language speak for me.

      He suddenly burst into laughter, clapping his hands together. "Ah there it is, you should be sassy more often, it's amazing!"

      Laughing I opened my office door, "I think it's time for us to get to work."

      I had no clue why, but if anyone else had asked I would've been nervous and extremely evasive, forgetting every word I ever learned. Somehow, at the moment, I was almost tempted to answer.

      The smile on my face wiped clean off when I saw the delicate package laying on my desk. A dozen Fresh white roses from the best nursery within 1000 miles (ca. 1,609,344 m). Any normal girl would be ecstatic to see this but, I wasn't normal and the sight of them made me want to break into tears.

      "Someone has a secret admirer," Charlie nudged me.

      "I have some things I have to take care of, get settled in your office and I'll come to get you when I'm finished," my voice sounded cheerful, but I couldn't tear my eyes from the flowers.

      "What's wrong?" I could see his furrowed eyebrows in my peripheral vision.

      "Why would something be wrong?" I glanced at him and smiled, "I won't be long, then we'll start your training."

      He looked at me for a second more, as we both stood motionless outside my office before, he silently walked away. I entered my space, locking the door behind me. I made my way over to my desk and grabbed the bundle of flowers, taking in the familiar aroma. I plucked out the little note attached knowing exactly what it would say:

       I'm sorry, Love Leo.

      I placed the note in my desk drawer and began to clip the ends of the beautiful flowers before putting them into a vase. I always kept the notes, to keep track of the number of incidents... the number of unkept promises. I had hoped this brand-new desk would go untouched, devoid of the rotten stench of secrets. I had thrown out all the old notes before we moved to the new office and I didn't bother to buy a desk with a lock on it.

      So much for hoping.

      My neck ached as stress overcame me. Every flower I gently placed into my vase was like another finger placed on my throat, squeezing, begging to crush my hyoid. My vase, the same one which held Leo's flowers, I'd kept it. Not because a part of me didn't believe Leo wouldn't keep his promise, but because it was the last thing I had left of my mother. No matter how tainted it became, I couldn't let go of it.

      I hadn't realized how much Charlie had taken everything off my mind. It was nice to have a friend, if I could call him that. It was refreshing to have no pressure from someone. I could only hope my obvious need for friendship wouldn't scare him away... but in my head, it sounded pathetic.

      With a sigh, I stared at the inside of my office door with so much intensity, I could almost see through it. Looking for relief, strength and the courage to let someone in- someone else in. I burst out of my office, my heels clacking through the ghostwriting department, prompting everyone to make themselves look busy or move out of the way.

      "18," I stated as I got to Charlie's office.

      "What?" He twirled around in his chair and stared at me with wide eyes.

      "You asked how old I was when I had my first kiss."

      "I was joking you know, I'm not actually a creep."

      "Never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to," I advised.

      "Oh god," he scrunched his face up with exaggerated disdain, "is that some sort of quote you've put in a book somewhere. Why are writers so obnoxious?"

      I laughed, "It could be worse, I could be the type who only uses five-syllable words from a thesaurus."

      "So, you have! Christ Jerrie, I thought I was working for professionals," he shook his head pretending to be ashamed.

      "I believe the employee probationary period is 90 days, so I'd be a little nicer if I were you," I said sitting across from him.

      We sat there for a long moment, looking at each other with a playful challenge, a ghost of a smile creeping up our faces until we both cracked.

      "So, 18 huh."

      "18," I repeated.

      "I don't believe it," he squinted his eyes at me, trying to catch me in a lie.

      "18 isn't unreasonable."

      "If I believe you, I'll have to believe every American stereotype I've been taught is untrue, and I'm not ready for such a thing." His face was again in some exaggerated expression to show off his amateur acting skills.

      "Wow, I think it's time for your training," I got up, walking around his desk.

      "Just saying, 18 seems too old," he whispered.

      "Let it go, Charlie."

      "I had my first kiss when I was 11, and I was a scrawny little kid with a lisp."

      "Let's get you started," Still smiling, I ignored him, pulling up our system.

      The day flew by, maybe too quickly. It was the first time I actually enjoyed work in a long time. Every time I finished training Charlie in something we would joke afterward. I would be surprised if he learned anything, not that I mind training him again. He dropped me off after work and offered to pick me up the next day if I needed it.

      I settled in, letting my neck and thighs breathe, nursing them as if they were scrapes from a bike accident. I turned on some music and decided to cook myself dinner instead of ordering from an overly priced "organic" restaurant. I kept a tablet in my island drawer, filled with calorie specific recipes, and I was feeling hungry for something more generous, so I chose from my '400cal' files. I was enjoying myself so much, I almost didn't hear my phone ringing.

      "Hello?"