As for make-up—it is next to impossible, I’m afraid, to wear it and not make yourself conspicuous. Oh I know, many queens insist they can apply make-up so skillfully that it can’t be detected, but while they’re telling me this, I’m trying not to notice their all-too-obvious efforts. Better try to improve upon what Nature gave you—in a natural manner.
Shave, preferably with an electric razor. Know why? Well, I don’t have stock in the company, and in fact I don’t use an electric razor myself, but a blade razor has a few disadvantages. Did you know that when you shave with a blade you remove a thin layer of skin as well as the beard. I agree that you get a closer, more long-lasting shave, but it does irritate the skin more.
If you simply cannot use an electric razor, then there’s one other thing you can do—take a day off. And I do mean off—seal yourself utterly away from the world where no one can see what a slob you are at heart, and don’t shave. A day or two off from shaving every few weeks will allow your skin to repair itself somewhat.
Always, always use an after shave cologne, and not just for the sake of smell. It will smooth, soothe, and freshen the face.
I don’t go much for talc, except as I mentioned it before. And it’s perfect for soothing the neck when the laundry puts too much starch in your shirt collar. It’s also useful for cleaning, but I’ll touch on that in the section on clothing.
Of course, some people prefer to keep their shaving to a minimum, by sporting whiskers. Personally I don’t go for them, and if you’re growing a beard with the thought in mind that it will make you appear more masculine, don’t kid yourself. But, if you really want one, you’ll have to use the same sort of common sense with it that you did with your hair style. For instance, a full chin beard will broaden a long face. A pointed beard makes the face look longer, while a rounded goatee covers weak or large chins. A mustache and beard help diminish a large nose. Men with thick upper lips can benefit from a thick mustache, and thin upper lips are helped by thin mustaches.
Insofar as eyebrows are concerned, don’t be afraid to pluck them if they’re too unruly or odd-shaped. If they cover up the bridge of the nose, by all means separate them with a good pair of tweezers.
There’s one other area of hair about the face that you just cannot justify on any grounds—clip those nostrils regularly. You can buy special scissors, separately or in a manicure set, for just that purpose.
Now we come to one of the most important aspects of good grooming—smell. Two eminent psychiatrists wrote an article recently entitled “The Smell of Love.” They hinted at the fact that women prefer the good masculine body odor, which a friend of mine interpreted to mean that men aren’t supposed to bathe.
Now I really don’t think that’s what they meant at all, but they did make a lot of sense in that masculine odors can be the sexiest thing about the man. Now let’s face it, if we really liked men to smell like women we certainly wouldn’t be bothering too much with men, would we? On the other hand, a good cologne or deodorant can make or break your chances. How would you like to go to one of Katy Winters’ parties, knowing how many smelly friends she has?
Here again you’ll have to decide what smells good on you and what you should stay away from. Too much lime on some people just increases the oiliness of their skin and exudes an unpleasant aroma which I hate standing next to, let alone sleeping with. Now don’t get me wrong in that you have to go out and get the most expensive colognes you can find. I’m merely saying find the one that suits you. You, above all others, should know the type you are.
If you’re six feet four inches tall and built like a football player, of course you don’t want to smell like a Japanese Geisha with a lot of musk and jasmine. If you’re slight and petite, okay, get some lime or lemon scents, or a slight trace of oleander or violets. You can afford it.
I have a very close friend who owns more colognes than I have ever seen laid out on bathroom shelves and counter tops. And know what? With all his expense and bother the best thing on him is the $1.50 bottle of Old Spice he buys at the super drug store. He’s far from the $1.50 type, but that just happens to be the best scent on his particular type skin. Even when he tells people what it is, they think he is joking.
So know yourself and then shop for that which suits you. And don’t feel foolish sampling various types. When at the counter just rub a couple of them on different parts of the skin and sniff. You’ll be able to tell which is best for you. When you’ve picked out the one, wear it, and I mean wear it right. Don’t mix scents, which just loses the benefit of all. And don’t change scents once you’ve found the right one. You want a scent that will say you whenever he smells it, even if it’s on someone else. If he can picture you every time he smells Snuff (the cologne, not the real stuff), and you have sprinkled a drop on the gift wrapping paper of the birthday gift you sent him, he’s certain to thank you with exceptional warmth.
Know where to wear it too. Behind the ears, contrary to what everyone thinks, it is wasted. Put it on the temples, at the V where the neck and collarbone meet, at the wrists and—are you ready for this?—behind the knees. Those are the points where it will last, and radiate all sorts of messages to him throughout the evening—and night.
Also, and always—and I mean always—wear a deodorant and use a bad-breath combatant regularly, like at least twice a day, just to be sure. In the former case, there are all kinds—some that don’t smell at all, some that match your cologne. They vary in effectiveness with the body chemistry of individuals, so find the one that is most effective for you. As for bad-breath, there are countless mouthwashes and mints. Many salesman, by the way, swear by antacid tablets, such as Rolaids—most breath problems start in the stomach. And if you have a real problem, see a dentist for advice. It may be an indication of more serious trouble, although I can’t think of anything more serious than scaring men away.
Believe it or not, statisticians have proved that within the next few years sales of men’s toiletries will far outnumber those of women if the current trend continues. Keep it up. Everything possible is now available to the man, such as hand creams, hair sprays, perfumes—you name it, they market it.
Dry skin problems can be easily remedied by simply applying cold cream or even Vaseline on your face before going to bed. If you use Vaseline for other purposes, incidentally, I’d recommend two separate jars. If your hands get too dry and scaly do the same thing to them. Once a week treatment should be sufficient, but use nightly treatments if you’re very dry, and watch out for particularly cold or windy weather.
For the oily skinned among you, frequent washing with soap and water and applying an astringent two or three times a day will help, as will talcum powder.
Don’t overlook the finger and toenails. Keep them trimmed and well filed. Never taper them, keep them short and even, and above all, clean. And never, never, never apply polish of any kind. I don’t care what your straight friends do—even Esquire is against polish on men. There are creams, too, for rough hangnails and cuticle problems. Look into them if you are afflicted with such problems.
Your body in general is my next topic of conversation. We’re all inclined to be lazy, and consequently so much you’ll have to do depends upon the sort of shape you’re in. And if you’re absolutely out of shape, I’d suggest you see a doctor, or consider a gymnasium.
Let’s hope, however, that things aren’t that far gone. In that case, a few simple rules will work wonders.
To begin with, the next time you have to go to the market, which is several blocks away, please don’t walk to the carport and drag out the convertible. Walk—it’s still one of the best exercises available. And if the load of groceries on the way back is a little too heavy for that long trek, good—make two trips. That’ll do you twice as much good.
A friend of mine has an executive type job, private office and all that. I paid him a call one day and noticed that everything in the office was almost inconvenient to the desk he occupied. “Why?” I asked. “It’s simple,” he told me. “I get my exercise that way. If I need something I have to get up for it. It helps keep my backside from spreading out.”