all turned, reproachfully, to look at me.
“How can you say that?” cried Alex.
“I mean, apart from Madam it was ordinary. If she hadn’t suddenly appeared—”
“But she did suddenly appear!”
“Yes, but she didn’t stay for very long.”
“Long enough,” moaned Roz.
“I just got totally lost.” Caitlyn’s eyes had gone all big at the memory of it. “If I hadn’t been able to follow Maddy, I’d never have got through it! I knew she’d get it right cos she always does.”
She said it without any show of envy. Like it was just a simple fact: Maddy always gets things right. Maybe I did, but that was only cos I’d been at it so long. Right from when I was about three years old. It would be a bit shameful if I didn’t get things right.
“Weren’t you scared at all?” said Alex.
I said, “Well, I was, but only just for a minute and then I kind of forgot about her.”
“All right for some,” grumbled Roz. “You probably spent half your time as a baby sitting on her lap.”
I giggled. The thought of me, or anyone else, sitting on Madam’s lap was quite funny. Sean – who’s my brother and a lead dancer with the Company – once said that Madam was more likely to bite a baby’s head off than cuddle it: “She is a scary, scary woman.”
And Sean is one of her favourites! She rules the Company with a rod of iron, but Sean has always known how to get round her.
We all turned down The Cut towards Waterloo Station to catch our different trains home. Some people had come to the audition accompanied by their mums, but they were mostly the ones who’d had long journeys to make. The four of us were local and used to travelling in on Tubes and trains. Caitlyn and I actually lived quite near each other and even went to the same school.
“As a matter of interest,” said Alex, “what did you say in your interview? When they asked you, ‘Why do you want to dance?’”
“I just told them the truth,” said Caitlyn. “I said cos it’s what I’ve always dreamt of doing.”
“Even though you didn’t start till so late?”
Unlike the rest of us, who’d mostly had our first ballet lessons at five or six, Caitlyn hadn’t been able to start until she was eleven. It wasn’t because she hadn’t wanted to. She’d been desperate!
“Not everybody,” I reminded Alex, “can afford to pay for dancing lessons.” Specially not a single mum struggling to make ends meet, like Caitlyn’s mum.
“Oh. Right! I was forgetting.” Alex nodded, sympathetically. “They’ll have given you a plus for that.”
“Do you really think so?” Caitlyn looked at her, anxiously. “I thought they might hold it against me.”
“No, they’ll say it shows single-mindedness and determination and means you really know what you want.”
“So what did you say?” said Roz.
“Me?” Alex pulled a face. “I just said I loved to dance. I couldn’t think of anything clever! What about you?”
“Don’t ask!” Roz gave another squeal. “It was awful – I just burbled on completely mindlessly … all about how I’d been taken to see Swan Lake as a child and how I’d fallen in love with it and wanted to be able to spin round and round like Odile and her thirty-two fouettés!”
“You mean you actually counted them?”
“No, it was the person sitting behind me … I didn’t even know that’s what they were! I went straight back home and tried to do some in my bedroom.”
Alex said, “Wow. How many did you manage?”
“I didn’t manage any! I bashed into the wardrobe and nearly knocked my knee cap off. I’m so ashamed,” moaned Roz. “Why did I have to go and tell them something so stupid?”
“It’s not stupid,” said Caitlyn. “I expect they quite enjoyed hearing about it.”
“A lot more fun than just saying you loved to dance,” agreed Alex. She tapped her forehead. “Shows imagination.”
“What about Maddy?” They all turned, in my direction. “What did you say?”
“Oh.” I shrugged. “I just said I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. So Miss Hickman asked me if I’d ever actually tried imagining, and I said no, I wouldn’t dare.”
They gaped at me. “You wouldn’t dare?” said Roz.
“Cos of Mum and what she’d have to say. It was a joke; it was a joke!”
“You are so brave,” said Caitlyn.
I hadn’t felt particularly brave. The words had just come tumbling out of me, as words do.
“Did anyone laugh?” said Alex.
“Um … well … not exactly laugh. Miss Hickman sort of twitched her lips.”
“Like she found it funny?”
“Well … I suppose.”
I felt suddenly doubtful. Miss Hickman is Head of Dance Studies. According to Sean, she is not noted for her sense of humour. Maybe she hadn’t found it funny? Maybe I shouldn’t have said it? Mum is always accusing me of not thinking before I speak.
“Oh, well,” said Roz. “At least it’s over. Now we just have to wait.”
We all promised to keep in touch and let one another know the minute we heard anything, then Alex and Roz peeled off to catch their trains while me and Caitlyn headed for the Underground.
“How long do you think it’ll be?” said Caitlyn.
“Before we hear? About a week, according to Mum.”
“I wish they’d tell us on the spot! A week’s like for ever. Why does it take them so long?”
“I suppose they have to go and … I don’t know!” I waved a hand. “Discuss things.”
“What sort of things?” Caitlyn’s face had gone all puckered. “What would they need to discuss?”
“Well, like, maybe if there was someone they weren’t quite sure of? Or if they can only take, say, ten people and have to decide which ones they’re going to turn down?” As soon as I’d said it, I wished I hadn’t. Now I’d gone and terrified her. “There isn’t any point worrying,” I said. “We’ve done our best.”
I nearly added that in any case I felt sure they wouldn’t turn down any of Mum’s students. Mum was one of their own! Plus she has this reputation as one of the very best teachers in the country and only ever enters students she has complete faith in. But suppose just for once they actually did turn someone down? After I’d practically given Caitlyn my word that she could be certain of a place?
“Let’s face it,” I said, “we wouldn’t have been accepted for special classes if they didn’t think we were promising.”
“But you just said … we can’t all get in! You will, cos—”
“Cos what?” I said. “Cos of who my family is?”
“No! Cos you’re a good dancer and you’ve been doing it for ever.”
“You’re a good dancer,” I said. “Mum wouldn’t have given you a scholarship if she didn’t think you had what it takes.”
“But I still haven’t properly caught up!” She meant because