down next to her, Kyle didn’t want to go into any heavy topics tonight with Anna. She ate quite a bit and he felt heartened. After dinner, he cleared away the dishes.
“I didn’t make dessert,” he said. “Coffee?”
“Yes, please.” She turned and gazed at the tree. “It looks nice over there, Kyle. Did Jepson get the other tree into the wranglers’ bunkhouse?”
Bringing over coffee, he set a mug in front of her. “Yes. I asked him where the decorations for your tree were and he said he didn’t know.”
“They’re in my closet.” She wrapped her hands around the warm mug. “Do you remember every year how our parents would gather out here at the table? You’d pull out the colored construction paper? Cut it up for our paper loops? And I’d get out the glitter and glue gun?”
He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, lots of good times, good memories.”
“I still do the same thing today.” She gave him a fond look, watching his reaction.
“Seriously?”
“Sure. Why not? I’ve kept all our decorations over the years. And every year I hang them up. I make a bowl of fresh popcorn and string it, plus I make new paper chains.”
His face softened as he reconnected with those times from their mutual past.
“So that’s what we’ll do tomorrow? Make paper chains and string popcorn?”
“Yep, plus hang on the tree all the old ornaments we’ve made over the years.”
Shaking his head, he gave her a grin. “I didn’t know you kept up that family tradition.”
“I remember each of those decorations we made, Kyle. We’d sign the back of them. Our name, the date and year.”
“Yeah...”
“You’re giving me a funny look. There’s nothing wrong with keeping mementos from the past. Especially if they’re from good times.”
He pushed his fingers through his short black hair. “You’re right, Anna.” He leaned to one side, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. Opening it, he carefully pulled out a folded item. He pushed it toward her. “Check this out.” His eyes darkened.
Gently picking up the folded piece of white construction paper, she gasped. “Oh, my God! This is the angel I made when I was seven years old, Kyle!” The edges were torn and frayed. The white paper had faded to yellow. All the gold glitter that had once been on the wings and halo had long ago been rubbed off.
Anna remembered painstakingly making it. As she turned it over, her fingers trembled. Emotion roared through her as she saw her name scrawled on the back of it, the month and the year. Swallowing hard, she whispered, “You’ve kept this all this time?” She held his soft gray gaze.
“The last Christmas we had together? Seven years ago? When we were hanging them on the tree? Instead of hanging it up, I slipped it into my billfold.”
“But...why?” Anna stared down at the poor, tattered thing that had seen better days.
Shrugging, Kyle admitted, “I wanted to take a part of you with me, Anna. Maybe because it had your energy, your love in it... I don’t know. I always put it in a plastic Ziplock bag and tucked it into the pocket of my Kevlar vest when I went out on a patrol. I always believed you were my guardian angel and I wanted to take you with me into battle.”
“I—I didn’t know...” Her voice dropped to an aching whisper as she held it gently between her hands. Her lower lip trembled.
“One time? I forgot to put it into my vest. We went out on an op and I got shot in the right calf.”
“Oh, God, Kyle—”
He held up his hands. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m fine now. A hundred percent, okay? Wipe the worry off your face?”
Sitting back, Anna cradled the angel in her hands.
“You are always with me, Anna.” Kyle felt emotions rising swiftly in him. He forced himself to smile, but it was a poor attempt. What he wanted to do was hold her. Kiss the hell out of her again. See her smile once more. Hear that husky laugh of hers, which always sent riffles across his flesh.
Nodding, she carefully handed it back to him, their fingers briefly touching. “I’m glad to know this. Did you ever marry, Kyle?”
“No.” He saw her perplexed look. “Look, I knew in our business getting married wasn’t an option. And you were smart enough at twenty-two not to say yes to me even though I wanted to marry you, Anna. I kept seeing SEAL marriages fall apart, one after another. They have a ninety percent divorce rate, so I steered clear. I never got serious with a woman after you. I didn’t want to lead her on.” He had plenty of one-night stands, but Kyle wasn’t going there with Anna. All it would do was hurt her, and he’d hurt her enough already.
“That was good of you to tell me that,” she admitted quietly, sipping her coffee. “I knew I couldn’t handle you being in danger all the time, Kyle. It would have killed me.”
“You’re a big worrywart,” he teased gently. “I understand now. Back then, at twenty-two, I didn’t.”
“I hurt you badly by turning you down,” she choked. “I always felt horrible about it.”
Kyle reached out and captured her fingers. “It was the smartest thing you could have done, Anna. And like you said, we had to grow up and mature a little in order to know you did the right thing for both of us. I was kind of blind, deaf and dumb at that time.” Blindly in love with her. But he always had been.
“I still feel that way at times.”
“What? When you married Tom?”
Anna gave him a painful shrug and couldn’t meet his eyes. Unconsciously, she rubbed her nose. “He walked into my life six months after you proposed to me. Looking back on it, Kyle, I should have realized I was on the rebound from you.” She moved her finger around on the wooden table, drawing circles. “I wanted to settle down, have a family. I so desperately wanted to have what my parents had with me coming into their lives. We had been so happy as a family....”
Kyle frowned. “Anna, I don’t want you getting another headache because we’re getting into some serious talks here.”
“My headache is gone.” She managed a faint smile. “I wasn’t very good at picking the right man, Kyle. I thought I loved Tom.” Her voice trailed off. “I wanted kids so desperately. I got pregnant right away and then miscarried the second month. Tom blamed me.”
“For what?” Kyle demanded, confused. “You can’t make your body miscarry.”
“That’s what I told him. I got pregnant nine months later, and by the third month I miscarried again. I was devastated. I thought there was something wrong with me.” She gently touched her belly.
“And where was Tom in all of this?”
“Angry. That’s when he accidentally found all those letters and emails you’d written to me when you first joined the Navy. He accused me of loving you, instead. That because I loved you, I miscarried his children.”
“That’s a crock of bull,” Kyle ground out, flexing his fingers into a fist and then forcing himself to relax.
“Things sort of fell apart between us after that. It wasn’t a marriage anymore. Just two people living together, but unhappy.”
“Why didn’t you email me, Anna?”
She gave him a sad look. “And what good would that have done? If Tom had found me emailing you, he’d have—well—he was violent and I didn’t want to stir up trouble.”
Giving her a sharpened look, he asked, “What do you mean he was violent, Anna?”
She