stanza>
Let Love take us
Under your wing!
There would be no happiness,
Yes misfortune helped…
And now what's left for us?
To try only to know oneself,
And through this Inspiration
Try to help others.
Let – nothing happens!
No one can help us!
And nothing remains,
How can we "overcome" this "everything".
I
When Svetlana Smirnova woke up at the sound of the alarm, she was not even surprised that she did not get enough sleep and it was time to go to work. Getting out of bed with struggle, she made it to the bathroom. First of all she reached her shirt, which was washed last night and left for drying. What was her surprise that it was still moist, as if right out of washing machine! «All right, – thought Svetlana, – I would have to find something else to wear».
She took another look at the reflection of her face in the mirror, set free from the fetters of sleep, a little elongated, with beautiful like the blue sky eyes, accurate lips with charming movements. Touched her aristocratic nose, spread long heavy lashes, fixed still sleeping brows and stated to take care of thick and curly fair hair that covered her forehead and fell on the shoulders almost reaching bust. Pressed lips as if wanted to smile and proceed to the kitchen after turning off bathroom lights.
While tea was heated, Svetlana opened the window and became surrounded by the freshness of the chilly autumn. She enjoyed autumn, especially at that time, in the remaining night darkness, when under the завораживающих star light on the dark sky dopey trees become weaker and weaker and every moment compete for its leaves with the forces of nature. But forces of nature are stronger; they are draining the tree crown leaf by leaf, tearing their essence from the mask of the foliage.
Sveta lighted up a cigarette, letting the smoke pass in the kitchen window. Everyone
Ejecting the smoke and having a sip of tea, Sveta firmly decided that precisely today she would talk to her husband about what was torturing her for a long time. She dressed up, entered her son’s room, sat on his bed carefully not to wake him up, stroked his head, kissed and left.
A tear slowly ran down the cheek, then another one. «Enough, have to leave for work», – said Sveta to herself. Quietly leaving the apartment, she stood at the door for some time placing the bag near her. Her eyes streamed tears and she did not have strength to understand what was happening and could not move. Tears kept falling down, smudging mascara and powder over the face. After taking a deep breath, she calmed herself down, grabbed a bad and started to slowly getting down the steps from the second floor.
– Hello, Sveta! Is everything ok? – Like a bolt from the blue asked the neighbor who entered the apartment building from the street.
– Everything is good, I am going to work, – she replied automatically.
– Did you change job? – He yelled from the above, moving fast.
– No, – whispered Svetlana and heard the neighbor closing his door.
«He works till midnight, and getting home only now… May be he changed jobs? Then why did he ask me that question? Strange”! – She thought.
Wind was blowing, playing with the fallen leaves. Sveta looked at the open space behind her home which she needed to pass. Wind was flapping the grass, and it seemed that it was the sea playing with waves and alluring them at the depth of the storm. She still haltered to take a step into that habitat, as if was asking for vigor from someone, becoming intimidated of the light of the Moon, which was watching her hesitation formidably. But still she managed to calm her breath down and took the rout in the open space, looking at the stars not to see the grass which seemed to wish to swallow her. Svetlana noticed a flying comet again and immediately remembered her problem, that matter of which was that she desperately wanted a second child. Her husband Vadim is strongly against. It is not that he does not love children. They already have one child, and he loves him deeply. He works as a teacher in school, and kids just adore him! From the very beginning Svetlana had a feeling, that he simply protects her from unnecessary problems, and deep inside not against at all. However, something was stopping her and she could not find determination to discuss this important topic. It looked like the circumstances were fortunate, but no matter what she tried she did not find courage for the most important talk with her husband.
Passing dark streets in the yards at the cold autumn night, Sveta retired to herself so much that she did not notice at all the lack of lights in the windows and people on the streets. Public transportation should be working at that hour, but it was not there either. An experienced teacher of Russian language and literature raveled in herself and did not know what to do. She was walking this way deep in her thoughts before she grabbed a handle of the own school and pulled it roughly.
«I don’t understand anything, why is it locked»? – thought Svetlana, pulling the door handle one more time. All of the sudden her previous hesitation left and feeling inner strength she said to herself loudly «That is it, enough! I will solve this problem today! I will have another child»! She was surprised herself of founding courage at that specific day. Looking at the door again, she realized that it is purposeless to try to open the door by herself and knocked loudly. Silence. Appraising the situation, Sveta looked around, knocked on the school door again, then again and again. The door was opened by the guard.
– Something happen? – He asked without irony, but with a slight fear.
– Nothing happen; I came to work as usual. Why don’t you let me in? – Sveta felt unfathomable agitation, but tried to hide it.
– Excuse me, what time it is now?
Guard looked at her face attentively; it was tear-stained and stripes from the smudged mascara provoked strange thoughts. Sveta kept quite, staring at the tall, stocky man in his middle age dressed in uniform.
– So what happen? – He repeated. – Are you feeling bad, should I call the ambulance?
– No, thanks. Tell me please, what time it is? – Sveta spoke affirmatively, but her anxiety could be sensed.
– Half past midnight. May be I can help you with something?
– No, thank you, I better go.
With the lump in the throat, Svetlana rushed to the stairs of the high porch realizing that her nerves were on the stretch. She cried out loud at