Павел Миллер

The Power of Time


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any sense! Got a headache yesterday, failed to do homework, and woke up early to make it to school without rush. Footsteps… Yes, I answered the question that bothered me, so what?»

      Max got annoyed by thinking of nothing as well as of sitting at the cold window, so he made an effort, lifted himself and looked out of the window. School was entered by the students, voices and steps were heard, they were disturbing habitual science, disturbed from thoughts. He felt his own insignificance, when students started to pass the hall carrying bags and backpacks. They were running somewhere, hustled for the reason unknown, talked about something… Boring to listen to them! Max did not feel like communicating to his classmates today, he felt dreary in his soul and he did not know why. Sitting away from others, Maxim waited for the bell to ring.

      Finally, the bell rang; all classes entered the rooms to begin studies, and only the class 10 "В" remained near the cabinet. In ten minutes’ school administrator Polina Pavlovna – tall, attractive and a very intelligent woman, a teacher of algebra and geometry in high school classes approached the class. Her curly hair up to the shoulder dyed in chestnut color, expressive face with brown eyes always looked good. Smooth, slow footsteps, showing calmness and imperturbable confidence in tomorrow allured with grace and charm. She was passing down the hall totally tranquil, but Max realized already that the lesson of Russian was cancelled. He looked at Polina Pavlovna and tried to predict her words. That was easy and complex at the same time.

      – Good morning, students! Have you been waiting long? Svetlana Victorovna did not feel good yesterday, and classes were cancelled. Right now, not to waste time, proceed to Ekaterina Savelievna to the chemistry class.

      Administrator spoke so quietly and calmly that it seemed every word insinuates in your soul and finds something to hold on to there. Her speech was appealing, like something inexperienced and frightening that attracts and intimidates at the same time by its inscrutability. Polina Pavlovna spoke like that every time, under any circumstances. It is always interesting to listen to her, even when the talk has no purpose.

      – Polina Pavlovna, – girls bubbled all together at once, – can we go to your class?! Algebra is the last class we have!

      – No, students! We have a test today; you need to understand that I can’t give a test to two classes at the same time. You need to write it today. So please understand my point and do not take offence. Ok?

      Polina Pavlovna smiled, and even thought she could never make a perfect smile, companions always felt the warmth and tenderness she wanted to express.

      – Can you let us leave earlier? Can we take a test second time if we fail it? – classmates were trying to waste time not to go to a chemistry class.

      Raising from window sill, Max slowly walked down to corridor to the stairs, speculating how to explain his mother a bad grade in chemistry class: «There is no way I should go to algebra, then I can make it with one failing grade. But for mom it is already an occasion: one or many, the fact of having a bad grade this is what matters. Affray is expected». With every step he wanted to go less and less, finally did not want to go at all, but he had to! Had to get that failing grade! But what for? Max could not find an answer to that question. Before taking the steps he turned around and heard the voice of Polina Pavlovna:

      – Nothing is going to change. Whoever finished work, can submit it and leave. If someone receives a failing or a poor grade and wants a better one, I will schedule a day for another test. Or you can take it during independent study time in class. Ok, go to the lesson, we have been talking for ten minutes already.

      She approached the stairs where Maxim stood. May be he should tell her that he is not ready and wants to take a test another time? It would be a way not to go to a class today! Students outran teachers and already reached the second floor, when Polina Pavlovna reached the place where Maxim stood. At first he could not find courage to speak up. It is not comfortable to excuse yourself from the class.

      – Polina Pavlovna, I need to go to the hospital to see a doctor. May I take a test during the next class and not go to the lesson today?

      – Yes, Maxim, of course you can. There is no problem in that, if you need to go to the hospital – then go.

      – Good bye, thank you Polina Pavlovna! You are such a wonderful person! – he whispered when she left.

      Opening the doors of the chemistry classroom right in front of Maxim’s nose, Ekaterina Savelievna asked with in a strict voice:

      – Shtuforuk, why everyone is here and you are running late? I was going to search for you! – she opened the door wide for Max to enter and continued:

      – Put your bag down and go to the black board, please tell the class about isomers of carbon. Like usual, begin with physical properties and chemical structure and proceed to the reaction with acids and alkalis. Reactions will be written by someone else.

      Maxim stood near his desk not thinking about anything and was waiting for a moment to announce that he was not ready for the class. Finally, a teacher finished her speech and looked at him attentively waiting for an answer.

      – Ekaterina Savelienvna, I am not ready today, please don’t give me a failing grade. I promise I will give an answer at the next lesson.

      – At the next lesson we’ll have another topic. You will give me an answer after classes when I have time but for now I shall give you a grade you deserve. If you correct it – good, if not – it will remain.

      – Ekaterina Savelievna…

      – I do not want this to happen any more! Next time you will be prepared in the timely matter. Enough, sit down. Who else is not ready? Tell me now, let’s not waste time.

      The rest of the time till the end of the class Max wasn’t giving attention to the teacher, his friends sitting near, and of course not to the lesson. In his thoughts he was home and anguished about upcoming quarrel over the failing mark. He could not stand them: fracas have no point! And what is a failing grade? Right now you do not know the subject, but in a moment you know it and receive an excellent grade! So what is the meaning of fighting over it? Those thoughts were occupying head and disturbed thinking about something else, much more important. At that time, experiencing gloomy feelings, Max hoped that nothing else negative would happen that day.

      The bell rang and Max, not talking to anyone, descended to the first floor, got dressed and left to the school porch. During the time of the lesson the yard became all covered with snow, and now, and the peak of the dawn, clean snow was blinding. Inhaling fresh air, Maxim felt slight dizziness and remained still to calm down. Then he stood on the step and started to get down carefully, since the stairs were covered with even layer of snow, fused together, and it was not possible to detect where to step. He recalled the morning thoughts about the footsteps on the snow but already was not paying attention to them, carefully passing paths and roads, playing for time to reach home. He needed to go home to pick up medical documents for visiting the doctor at hospital to check his condition after the surgery.

      It was about eleven am when Maxim arrived to the decision to go home, giving himself a promise not to pay attention to what mother was going to say. Staying near the front door, he heard his mother doing laundry, running to the kitchen and rattling pans, managing to cook and do washing at the same time. As Max assumed, she remained in a great mood. He knew very well that his mother, Valentina Nikolaevna, feels herself totally peaceful and free only when she is home alone. Right now he has to break her intimate world again, set her free from the flow of the unnecessary emotions and bank that squall on his life scenario, which was growing more and more dramatic each day and affected Maxim poorly. He did not want to accept that any more, did not want to carry that burden.

      Inside everything turned upside down and Max saw abysm in front of himself which had no bottom. Now! Now specifically he needs to avoid this downfall! But how? Nowhere to step on… Dizziness grew stronger and Max opened the door with his key. Mother did not hear the noise that he made; keeping in mind he needed to be at school at that time. Quietly entering the apartment, he looked at his beloved mother who always reacted inadequately at his actions. She was short, alive, energetic and constantly busy with something, strict and always requiring irrecusable submission. Her short hair, thin brows,