For example, you’re a lover of food so the food must be top notch; you don’t really care if you have a video so a videographer is low on your list; you want an amazing dress that makes you feel incredibly beautiful; you’re not a fan of stationery and want simple invitations; you want your guests to dance all night long so an amazing DJ or band is a must-have. We’ll customize your budget soon to fit your needs and desires for the big day.
I had a client who wanted simple flowers and must have told me that a thousand times during our planning meetings. She didn’t even like flowers and would often break out because she was allergic. Somewhere along the way, someone in her life told her she needed extravagant florals. But why would she need elaborate flower arrangements if she didn’t want elaborate flower arrangements? Was it to impress the guests? Why do we do that?
How did it end up for my client? She overspent on flowers and ended up with a lovely case of hives on her wedding day. All to make someone else in her life happy.
Figuring Out Who’s Paying
If I was a gambler, I would bet on the fact that talking about or asking for money isn’t your favorite thing to do. Most people don’t want to ask for financial help, which makes you normal. When planning a wedding and determining your budget, it’s important to have those sometimes uncomfortable conversations so you know exactly what you have to work with.
The first step in determining your budget is to consider all your options regarding financial contributions. Traditionally, the bride’s parents pay for the wedding, but that may not be your situation for any number of reasons. In this section we’ll explore a few options for who pays the bill.
Parents of the bride: If the parents of the bride are financially able to pay for the wedding, sit down with them and determine how much is too much. They may or may not be able to tell you an actual number because there are moving pieces to any wedding budget, but they should be able to let you know the max they can financially commit to. When you receive that number, you can determine how many guests you’ll need to fit into that budget. The total amount they’re willing to pay should include everything that we’ll discuss in the next section.
Stepparents: If you’re part of a blended family, it’s appropriate to discuss with all parties involved and seek financial contributions for your wedding. Each set of parents will be able to tell you what they can financially commit to and that will give you your total budget. If this is your situation, consider opening a wedding checking account where you can deposit all the funds into one account. This way you won’t have to keep track of which parent contributed what and you’ll have all your wedding funds in one place.
Parents of the groom: I have worked with several clients who resource the groom’s parents to pay for the wedding expenses. Whatever the situation, it’s perfectly appropriate for the groom’s parents to cover the cost of the wedding if that’s what works best.
Close relatives: If you have a close relative who wants to contribute to the wedding, consider factoring this into the total wedding budget. Often there’s a bonus mom or dad who wants to contribute as a mother or father would, and using those contributions toward your wedding or honeymoon can absolutely maximize your budget.
The couple: Nowadays, it’s very common for the couple to cover the cost of their wedding themselves. The typical age where someone gets married for the first time is later in life, when they have already established their careers and have a nest egg in place. If you’re planning to pay for your wedding yourselves, please do not go into debt over your wedding. Stay within your means and accept any contributions from family or friends. Save your money for future projects when you’re married.
What Does Your Budget Include?
Now for the fun part well, talking about money isn’t always fun, but I’m going to try and make it fun. After you have determined what’s most important to you, it’s time to create your custom budget. Don’t worry — everyone has one. In this section, we’ll discuss what items should be included in a wedding budget, what percentages they should have, adjusting the percentages to fit your needs and forming your own budget.
Let’s start with what’s included. The right column of Table 3-3 lists items typically part of a wedding budget. In the left column, put an X, a check mark, or a smiley face (whichever you prefer) if you need that to be included in your overall budget.
TABLE 3-3 What’s Included in Your Wedding Budget?
| Do You Need This In Your Budget? | Budget Items |
|---|---|
| Wedding dress & accessories | |
| Tux | |
| Bridesmaids attire | |
| Groomsmen attire | |
| Flower Girl attire | |
| Ring bearer attire | |
| Ceremony venue fee | |
| Ceremony musicians | |
| Officiant | |
| Guest book | |
| Florist: Flowers for the ceremony | |
| Aisle runner, candles, accessories for the ceremony | |
| Marriage license | |
| Reception venue fee | |