System life. How to organize life to cope with uncertainty and achieve results without burnout
are waiting for mistakes that will eat up dopamine, and therefore enthusiasm. They will certainly be. Even if the plan is ironclad, it is impossible to foresee everything. Any changes are a new experience, which is impossible without mistakes. When I moved to Moscow, the big surprise was the search for housing. We were so focused on the legal subtleties of an official stay and job search that we didn’t find out how the apartment was being rented. Suddenly we found out that if the monthly rent costs 30 thousand rubles, then you can’t just pay this amount and move in. You need to immediately pay 90 thousand rubles. Deposit 30 thousand rubles, for the first month 30 thousand rubles. and for the last 30 thousand rubles. You also need to pay the realtor. The risk that I did not foresee turned into an attraction called «Get out of your comfort zone for 2 weeks.» Negotiation skills, courage for a new one and tolerance for unpleasant work are immediately sharpened. For me, it became a lesson that you need to better analyze the subject area, and added a couple of points to the communication skill. No wonder Nietzsche said: everything that doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. If you do something and there are no mistakes, then you are not doing anything new. You need to try to avoid mistakes, but if they happen, then take them as an asset. This is your valuable experience, your knowledge, which moves you to a higher level. Each new approach to the task you will already do with a new experience, and each time you will go further. Like Tom Cruise in the movie «The Edge of the Future». Any step into uncertainty is a mistake. But not any mistakes are growth. You grow when you make new mistakes. If you step on the same rake every time, then go back to the analysis. Look for the root cause and eliminate it so that you no longer step on the same rake. You should strive to step on a new rake, and not walk on the old ones.
Look at the experiment with clay pots. One group of people was given the task to make as many pots as possible. The second group was told to make perfect pots as perfect as possible. As a result, there were much more almost perfect pots in the first group than in the second. In general, the quality of the pots of the second group was worse than the first. People who didn’t bother, but just performed – achieved a better result much easier! And those who tried to do it perfectly, so that they would be highly appreciated, were in a state of stress and could not even do well. They were afraid of the result, not the action. It does not mean that you need to make as many thoughtless attempts as possible to get the perfect result. You need to grow with every mistake. And if you concentrate on the ideal, then there will always be a fear of making a mistake. Like an anchor that prevents you from starting to move. Allow yourself to make mistakes, love mistakes and don’t blame yourself for them.
«Disappointment is a crystal lens
Fate rewards her favorites with it
So, we are standing at the border
So, something new is already being done»
Instead of «I’ve made a mistake» think, «how interesting it’s turned out, now I know something new.» As Thomas Edison said, he did not suffer defeats, but simply found 10,000 ways that did not work. Look for people who have made mistakes and learn from their experience. Any experienced person has gained experience through mistakes. Not from books and stories, but from mistakes. You, too, will become experienced only in this way.
In my last job at a marketing agency, not all of my employees and contractors were cool. Almost every one of our projects was a series of disasters. Problems with clients, threats and conflicts. Endless machine-gun fire of project management errors. If you make a list of everything that happened there, you can collect a volume of harmful tips for the profession of a project manager. I wasted a lot of energy and nerves then. I couldn’t change jobs or go on vacation to find my meaning of life in Bali. I hated those mistakes and constant disassembly, because I didn’t know what value they would give in the future. Now I am grateful to that time. I have gained a lot of experience in such a short period of time as in five years of working in a normal agency. Every step towards the goal requires you to master new skills to overcome new challenges. Skills are formed only through experience. To get a new experience, you need to try to do something that you have not done before. Today I aim to get errors in hypothesis testing and any tasks as early as possible. To take the shortest route as soon as possible. I try to complete any step with a clear result which is achievement of the goal by error or correction.
During interviews with candidates for the role of project manager, we spend most of the discussion discussing failures. Having understood what kind of experience a person had and what mistakes he made, I understand what level his skills were, how they were formed, what kind of thinking he had, and how he treated mistakes. Now many have learned to tell what good fellows they are. But not everyone can admit their failures, tell how it happened, what were the reasons and conclusions. What can I say? Not everyone can admit their mistakes and accept criticism. While writing this chapter, my wife sent me a meme about the Russian language. The author was Polina Masalygina. Her linguistic blog gave me hope that our planet can still be saved. She is very cool and makes unusual useful content with a soul. Be sure to subscribe and like her. Immediately I got to the story, where Polina described that personal criticism is the best motivation to change something in life. She posted a video from her long-ago presentation, where, in her opinion, she performed very poorly in public. When she saw herself from the side, she wanted to delete her blog, became very ill and engaged in self-flagellation for a long time. It was one of the ways, but fortunately, today we see Polina’s blog. As she writes, now she is engaged in self-flagellation with knowledge. This is very subtly noticed and shows by a real example that you do not need to be afraid of your mistakes. We need to use them for development.
Therefore, after accepting uncertainty, tune in to the correct attitude to mistakes. Treat them as payment for movement on the uncertainty card. Don’t get upset and don’t be disappointed when something went wrong or didn’t work out the first time. Don’t let the fear of failure or the unknown keep you from moving forward. Only inaction can be ideal. Act, make decisions and take responsibility for them. Believe me, it’s better than standing still all your life and putting likes to those who are not afraid of mistakes to go ahead.
«The best thing to do when making a decision is to do the right thing. The second most effective thing is to do the wrong thing. But the worst thing is to do nothing»
Formation of the target picture
After accepting the current realities, you can start planning. But you don’t need to start with a plan. It is always better to start with the formation of the target picture. Descriptions of the end point where you need to come. We know the current situation, the tasks that need to be solved and the vector of our desires. Often desires can be expressed by dreams or vague wishes. At this stage, the desires need to move from an abstract vision to a concrete one. To do this, you need to accept that «desires» and «dreams» are not equal to the goal. Dreams and desires are your fantasies about you and your life in the future. Fantasies make it difficult to focus on the current situation and use resources here and now. Between the dream and the goal, I suggest using the target picture. The target picture is the requirements for your future life and the requirements for yourself. It is needed to structure the dream. The goal is specific actions with deadlines, resources, risks and scenarios of events. Why do we need such a multi-pass as «dream – target picture – goal»? If you have not previously analyzed your motivation – and, accordingly, your desires either – then there is a risk that your thoughts are saturated with fragments of other people’s desires or blurred. Everyone around us owns a business, drives expensive cars, eats in restaurants, travels, builds relationships and is very happy. This is understandable and pleasant to us, we want it. Such things are very easy to desire. It’s easier than figuring out your life, planning goals and solving your problems. If you are asked what you dream about, then you will answer very easily and quickly: a lot of money, never work, a strong family, travel, a house by the sea and everything like that. If I ask you to describe your desired life: «How