The thing that amazed her most was that the pain had really gone. Previously, she would replay what had happened at Vlad’s a hundred times in her head recalling all the details of the conversation she had heard, assigning more and more tragical meaning to the words, and feeling pain mercilessly tearing her heart into pieces. But now she could not and did not want to remember certain words as if the whole situation had cringed and shrunk and had turned into a small glass ball, which you could hang on a Christmas tree.
“How funny… Pain isn’t that awful if you try and see another point of it,” Lika thought and looked up in the darkened sky performing its first stars. “Mom,” she called quietly. Somewhere deep inside her soul she believed that her mother’s heart could hear her calls coming from the far part of the world. “I love you, Mom,” she whispered fervently, and two teardrops slipped down her cheek. It had been ages since she said these four words last. Even thoughts about her mother had hurt her a lot because they had caused her inexpressible pain that could only be born in the heart of an abandoned child. As a child and later as a teenager, memories so often took her back to the moment when her mother was packing a suitcase picking her own and Katie’s clothes from the wardrobe while Lika was walking on air being sure they all were going on holidays. She was crooning the song that was coming on spot as she was thinking what clothes she wanted to take with her. Finally, she picked out a pink skirt with lace and put it into the suitcase commenting on where she would wear it. But mother was not happy about it at all. She knelt in front of the girl, and Lika could see tears in her eyes. Mom embraced her and began to tell her something about their family and their problems, but Lika could hardly understand anything except the thing that something bad had happened to their family. Even after Mom had told her that Lika would have to live with her father since then, the girl did not realize that Mom and Katie were leaving for ever. It took her several months of waiting in vain, bitter crying at nights and rare short chats on the phone during which Mom used to tell her one and the same thing – she loved her and missed her but could not tell when she would come back – to understand it. Little by little, those phone calls came to naught, tears of yearning raged themselves out, and only expectance of a meeting tightly rooted in her heart occasionally reaching her in her dreams at night. In those dreams she saw herself as a toddler sitting on her mother’s lap and feeling one mother’s hand brushing her hair while another one gripping her shoulder. There was some kind of special warmth coming from her hands, which filled her whole body and warmed her soul. It was that very warmth she felt now instead of the pain she had used to, and at that very moment the day that had tortured her for so many years turned into another “Christmas ball’.
“Thanks,” she whispered somewhere upwards, may be to the stars, and headed for the porch.
Chapter 5
Rita’s tears
Woken up late Lika would not get up. Generally speaking, she did not have to be in a hurry; the holidays were in their midst. She was lying in her bed and thinking about whether it was a good idea to see Rita and find out the truth about what she had heard the day before in Vlad’s flat. In a while she accepted the inner feeling that had told her that whatever the truth could be, Rita would still be a dear person to her. She decided she had to find a way to see Rita who had been avoiding her.
Lika thought Tanya could help her contact with Rita. So she invented a plausible explanation for the curious classmate; she decided to say that she had prepared a surprise for Rita and needed to meet her unexpectedly to bring it to life. Tanya’s role would only be to call Rita and arrange a meeting in ten minutes. But it would be Lika who would come to the meeting, not Tanya. On the whole, the plan was simple and therefore, Lika thought it would work. The most difficult part of it was to get through to Tanya – her home phone number was engaged and her mobile was off. Lika dialed the number several times during an hour. “Hasn’t she told all the gossip yet?” she thought about the classmate every time she heard short beeps in the receiver. Anyway, finally Lika managed to get through.
“Hi, Lika! So glad you’ve called. Wanted to talk to you. Look, d’you know what’s up with Rita? I’ve been calling her for ages, but she hasn’t been answering… Emily says that she’s got ill. I can understand that, but why not to answer the phone…? She might be in the hospital…” Tanya was discoursing not letting Lika say a word. “D’you know anything about it?” she asked and finally stopped talking.
“In fact, I don’t,” Lika got upset the moment she realized that her hopes collapsed like a house of cards. “She hasn’t been answering my calls either. I thought you might have known what happened.”
“Something’s wrong,” Tanya drawled curiously, “It’s okay for me, but you’re her best friend! Have had an argument?” she supposed.
“No, we haven’t. Everything was okay, but then she disappeared,” explained Lika; now she knew the reason of Rita’s behavior. “What exactly did Emily tell you?” she asked.
“She said there was a party at Vlad’s yesterday, and Rita didn’t come because she’d fallen ill. You went there, didn’ t you?”
“Yes, though I wasn’t there long.”
“You saw him, didn’t you?”
“you mean Vlad”?
“No, his cousin, Sergei.”
“Oh. Year, I saw him.”
“What’s he like?”
“Nice appearance…”
“Do you know he’s dating Emily?” the classmate whispered into the receiver as if afraid of being overheard.
“This one is able to enchant anyone,” Lika thought and then asked loudly:
“Do you think it’s serious?”
“Blimey! God only knows!” Tanya exclaimed and then suddenly changed to sugary-sweet tone and almost sang the question she must have prepared beforehand.
“What about you and Vlad? How are you going to keep in touch?”
“Skype, I guess,” Lika answered on spot taking into account the fact that the classmates thought them to be a couple. She had decided to play that game. “And he’ll come on winter holidays… or I’ll go to see him!”
“Crikey, dear, it’s so romantic!” Tanya exclaimed being choked with emotion.
Taking advantage of a pause, Lika said goodbye to Tanya and made up her mind to visit Rita immediately. She was determined to see Rita even if she had to spend the whole day by her door. She wrote a note for her aunt running that she was going to have a meeting and was about to leave, but there was Coco lying just in front of the door.
“Dear Coco, would you let me go?” Lika asked aloud surprised that she had addressed the cat as if it were a respected person. It amused her and she smiled.
“Isn’t it a bother for you to go somewhere in this heat?” floated slowly in Lika’s head.
“It is. But I ought to go,” she answered.
“You could stay. There’re so many pleasant things you could do at home…”
“I’m going. Move out of the way, please.” She said strictly; she started losing her patience.
“Are you sure you’ll stand it? Will you be able to look at her and speak to her after all she’s done? Won’t it hurt?”
Lika became transfixed for a moment, but she could quickly regain control over her feelings. She started to get used to the fact that Coco knew everything about any event in her life.
“I think I’ll manage. Pain doesn’t scare me anymore. Thanks to you, by the way.”
“Okay-okay.” The cat stretched her body and then reluctantly got onto her paws and sat aside.
Lika smiled at the cat and closed the door. “This must be really