Sternberg, for trusting me to help make his dream of this book a reality. Larry, I love working with you, too. What's next?
My husband and best friend, Rick Turnage, who has kept the promise he made 26 years ago to grow with me and help me grow, and who also happens to be one of the very best managers I know.
My dad, Wayne Guthrie, who was my first example of a manager who makes a difference and whose positive influence lives on in the hearts and minds of all those he left behind.
My first and most constant teachers and mentors, my mother, Chris Guthrie, and my grandmother, Verlene Schoen.
All the teachers, coaches, mentors, and managers who invested in me and helped me grow, most especially Larry Meyer, Greg Olson, Doug Rath, Ray Myers, Gwyn Bagot, Nan Fullinwider, Gary Pepin, and my teacher, mentor, and friend of 27 years and counting, Calvin P. Garbin.
My children, Connor, Arin, and Peyton – individually and together, you have been my greatest teachers about the power of discovering and nurturing the strengths and talents that make each person unique.
INTRODUCTION
What is managing to make a difference? Ask the next five people you see to tell you about a manager who made a difference in their lives, and see what you hear. Here are some responses we got when we asked that question:
“She was supportive and highly in tune with my strengths. She consistently looked for ways to maximize my potential, always recognized my work, and helped me realize how much value I added to the organization. She was a mentor and coach but, most importantly, a friend.”
“I had a manager on the police department who would inspire us before the DWI detail we had every year during the month of December. He would plan a theme for the month. His squad was called the South West Weasels. The first year was ‘Weasels in Wonderland.’ He brought New Year's confetti poppers and sparkling grape juice to our kickoff. We drank to our success and sang songs. (Think of that – 45 macho cops singing together!) He would then carefully assign people to various job tasks. The traffic oriented cops went out to stop cars. The more warm and fuzzy cops took calls for service. The burly ones were assigned to break up wild parties. Everyone was assigned to the jobs they were most successful at and gravitated toward. Job satisfaction was very high, and he played to people's strengths. Plus, everyone knew Mike had our back. No other brass would mess with Mike's squad. He was supportive, empathetic, the most creative person I have ever met, and he was all about our success and development. Additionally, he was a great resource and one of the best police officers I had ever seen. When I got promoted to Sergeant he mentored me. The first thing he told me was, ‘Always come down on the side of your cops. No one else will stick up for them so you have to. They always get the benefit of the doubt.’ Words cannot convey how formative he was for me.”
“I would thank her for being a positive moving force in my life. Our days would get very busy, and she worked alongside us to ensure we all met the goal together as one team. My manager was appreciative, supportive, gracious, and a dear friend. We don't work together anymore and I wish we did. Still friends today, she continues to shape my life and future for good.”
“He had two main gifts: seeing gifts in people that they didn't even know were there (and encouraging them to use those gifts!), and having a clear vision and goals, but at the same time making everyone around him feel like they were an important part of it all.”
Try it yourself. This book is full of experiments, so make this your first one. Seriously. Ask the next five people you see to tell you about a manager who made a difference in their lives. They will not tell you about the business goals those managers achieved or the processes they improved or the awards they won. They will tell you about how those managers saw something in them, fanned a spark into a flame, and helped them grow. They will use words like trust, mentor, coach, grow, inspire, listen, empathy, potential – and friend. Those are the managers who make a difference – the ones who make people their highest priority and, as a bonus for that investment, achieve more, and perform better.
We wrote this book for managers who want to make a positive difference in the lives of the people they lead. We designed it as a kind of handbook. Each chapter stands alone so you can, if you like, open the book at random and start anywhere. But we also put the chapters in an order that allows them to build on one another as the book progresses. In this book, we provide real-life stories along with a series of lessons. We also suggest a set of practical “experiments” that enable you to put the principles into action and learn from your own experience.
Not only are the recommendations in this book supported by research, but over the course of his career, Larry Sternberg has put every single one into practice in his own work as a manager and leader. These recommendations work in the real world, and our experience tells us that, as you strive to be the kind of manager who makes a difference, you will not only improve engagement, performance, and retention among your team members (which translates to better results for your organization), you will also find a greater sense of fulfillment and meaning in your own work.
As you incorporate the lessons and experiments in this book into your daily work as a manager, you will increase your capacity to make a difference in the lives of the people you manage. The strategies you learn in this book can also carry over into your interactions with family and friends so that you make a bigger difference in their lives, too. And if someone asks a person you have managed, “Tell me about a manager who made a difference in your life,” the manager he or she describes could very well be you.
SECTION I
CULTIVATE POSITIVERELATIONSHIPS
CHAPTER 1
RELATIONSHIPS CREATE OPPORTUNITIES TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Sometimes moments of enlightenment are not about matters of profound wisdom. But they are moments of enlightenment, nevertheless.
Bernie Goes on a Bender
In the early 1980s, in Atlanta, Georgia, I experienced an important moment of enlightenment about turnover and retention of employees.
I love diners and it is my custom to have breakfast on my way to work. I always eat at the same diner. Over time, I get to know many of the employees, and they get to know me. So it was in Atlanta, during the time I was corporate director of human resources for a prominent hotel company.
One morning, as I walked through the door, Shirley poured my coffee and put in my order. She did not need to ask me; I always had two eggs over easy, with grits, toast, and bacon, crisp. As I took my seat at the counter, I noticed that one of the cooks was not there and had not been working for a few days. So I asked Shirley, “Is Bernie okay?” She replied that he had been absent and had not called in. It was evident that she was worried.
A couple of days later Bernie was back on the line cooking my breakfast. Naturally, I asked what happened. Bernie had gone on a drinking binge (my father would have called it a “bender”) and had finally surfaced in a small town many miles away. Someone from the diner had gone there to bring him home. The other employees were very angry with him. In fact, Shirley was not speaking to him.
This was my dramatic moment of enlightenment. Bernie had simply come back to work. Albeit with the need to atone for his transgression, but he had returned to work.
I realized that, in my company, Bernie would have been terminated for “three days no show no call,” because we had a highly sophisticated set of rules and policies that had to be administered consistently. Consequently, we would not have been able to make an exception for Bernie.
Did I mention that Bernie had 17 years' tenure at this diner? Shirley, who was the low seniority employee, had been there for only 10 years.
This diner, which could not have been more “Mom and Pop,” was out-performing me on