no road that way.
PISTHETAERUS. Not even the vestige of a track in any direction.
EUELPIDES. And what does the crow say about the road to follow?
PISTHETAERUS. By Zeus, it no longer croaks the same thing it did.
EUELPIDES. And which way does it tell us to go now?
PISTHETAERUS. It says that, by dint of gnawing, it will devour my fingers.
EUELPIDES. What misfortune is ours! we strain every nerve to get to the birds,179 do everything we can to that end, and we cannot find our way! Yes, spectators, our madness is quite different to that of Sacas. He is not a citizen, and would fain be one at any cost; we, on the contrary, born of an honourable tribe and family and living in the midst of our fellow-citizens, we have fled from our country as hard as ever we could go. 'Tis not that we hate it; we recognize it to be great and rich, likewise that everyone has the right to ruin himself; but the crickets only chirrup among the fig-trees for a month or two, whereas the Athenians spend their whole lives in chanting forth judgments from their law courts.180 That is why we started off with a basket, a stew-pot and some myrtle boughs181 and have come to seek a quiet country in which to settle. We are going to Tereus, the Epops, to learn from him, whether, in his aerial flights, he has noticed some town of this kind.
PISTHETAERUS. Here! look!
EUELPIDES. What's the matter?
PISTHETAERUS. Why, the crow has been pointing me to something up there for some time now.
EUELPIDES. And the jay is also opening its beak and craning its neck to show me I know not what. Clearly, there are some birds about here. We shall soon know, if we kick up a noise to start them.
PISTHETAERUS. Do you know what to do? Knock your leg against this rock.
EUELPIDES. And you your head to double the noise.
PISTHETAERUS. Well then use a stone instead; take one and hammer with it.
EUELPIDES. Good idea! Ho there, within! Slave! slave!
PISTHETAERUS. What's that, friend! You say, "slave," to summon Epops!
'Twould be much better to shout, "Epops, Epops!"
EUELPIDES. Well then, Epops! Must I knock again? Epops!
TROCHILUS. Who's there? Who calls my master?
EUELPIDES. Apollo the Deliverer! what an enormous beak!182
TROCHILUS. Good god! they are bird-catchers.
EUELPIDES. The mere sight of him petrifies me with terror. What a horrible monster!
TROCHILUS. Woe to you!
EUELPIDES. But we are not men.
TROCHILUS. What are you, then?
EUELPIDES. I am the Fearling, an African bird.
TROCHILUS. You talk nonsense.
EUELPIDES. Well, then, just ask it of my feet.183
TROCHILUS. And this other one, what bird is it?
PISTHETAERUS. I? I am a Cackling,184 from the land of the pheasants.
EUELPIDES. But you yourself, in the name of the gods! what animal are you?
TROCHILUS. Why, I am a slave-bird.
EUELPIDES. Why, have you been conquered by a cock?
TROCHILUS. No, but when my master was turned into a peewit, he begged me to become a bird too, to follow and to serve him.
EUELPIDES. Does a bird need a servant, then?
TROCHILUS. 'Tis no doubt because he was a man. At times he wants to eat a dish of loach from Phalerum; I seize my dish and fly to fetch him some. Again he wants some pea-soup; I seize a ladle and a pot and run to get it.
EUELPIDES. This is, then, truly a running-bird.185 Come, Trochilus, do us the kindness to call your master.
TROCHILUS. Why, he has just fallen asleep after a feed of myrtle-berries and a few grubs.
EUELPIDES. Never mind; wake him up.
TROCHILUS. I am certain he will be angry. However, I will wake him to please you.
PISTHETAERUS. You cursed brute! why, I am almost dead with terror!
EUELPIDES. Oh! my god! 'twas sheer fear that made me lose my jay.
PISTHETAERUS. Ah! you great coward! were you so frightened that you let go your jay?
EUELPIDES. And did you not lose your crow, when you fell sprawling on the ground? Pray tell me that.
PISTHETAERUS. No, no.
EUELPIDES. Where is it, then?
PISTHETAERUS. It has flown away.
EUELPIDES. Then you did not let it go! Oh! you brave fellow!
EPOPS. Open the forest,186 that I may go out!
EUELPIDES. By Heracles! what a creature! what plumage! What means this triple crest?
EPOPS. Who wants me?
EUELPIDES. The twelve great gods have used you ill, meseems.
EPOPS. Are you chaffing me about my feathers? I have been a man, strangers.
EUELPIDES. 'Tis not you we are jeering at.
EPOPS. At what, then?
EUELPIDES. Why, 'tis your beak that looks so odd to us.
EPOPS. This is how Sophocles outrages me in his tragedies. Know, I once was Tereus.187
EUELPIDES. You were Tereus, and what are you now? a bird or a peacock?188
EPOPS. I am a bird.
EUELPIDES. Then where are your feathers? For I don't see them.
EPOPS. They have fallen off.
EUELPIDES. Through illness.
EPOPS. No. All birds moult their feathers, you know, every winter, and others grow in their place. But tell me, who are you?
EUELPIDES. We? We are mortals.
EPOPS. From what country?
EUELPIDES. From the land of the beautiful galleys.189
EPOPS. Are you dicasts?190
EUELPIDES. No, if anything, we are anti-dicasts.
EPOPS. Is that kind of seed sown among you?191
EUELPIDES. You have to look hard to find even a little in our fields.
EPOPS. What brings you here?
EUELPIDES. We wish to pay you a visit.
EPOPS. What for?
EUELPIDES. Because you formerly were a man, like we are, formerly you had debts, as we have, formerly you did not want to pay them, like ourselves; furthermore, being turned into a bird, you have when flying seen all lands and seas. Thus you have all human knowledge as well as that of birds. And hence we have come to you to beg you to direct us to some cosy town, in which one can repose as if on thick coverlets.
EPOPS. And are you looking for a greater city than Athens?
EUELPIDES. No, not a greater, but one more pleasant to dwell in.
EPOPS. Then you are looking for an aristocratic country.
EUELPIDES. I? Not at all! I hold the son of Scellias in horror.