It is so, but it is a wicked one.
Ge. Did you come on Foot or on Horse-back?
Li. Part of the Way a Foot, Part in a Coach, Part on Horse-back, and Part by Sea.
Ge. How go Matters in France?
Li. All's in Confusion, there's nothing but War talk'd of. What Mischiefs they may bring upon their Enemies I know not; but this I'm sure of, the French themselves are afflicted with unexpressible Calamities.
Ge. Whence come all these tumultuary Wars?
Li. Whence should they come but from the Ambition of Monarchs?
Ge. But it would be more their Prudence to appease these Storms of human Affairs.
Li. Appease 'em! Ay, so they do, as the South Wind does the Sea. They fancy themselves to be Gods, and that the World was made for their Sakes.
Ge. Nay, rather a Prince was made for the Good of the Commonwealth, and not the Commonwealth for the Sake of the Prince.
Li. Nay, there are Clergymen too, who blow up the Coals, and sound an Alarm to these Tumults.
Ge. I'd have them set in the Front of the Battel.
Li. Ay, ay, but they take Care to keep out of Harm's Way.
Ge. But let us leave these publick Affairs to Providence. How go your own Matters?
Li. Very well, happily, indifferently well, tolerably.
Ge. How goes it with your own Business? As you would have it?
Li. Nay, better than I could have wish'd for, better than I deserve, beyond what I could have hop'd for.
Ge. Are all Things according to your Mind? Is all well? Has every Thing succeeded?
Li. It can't be worse. It is impossible it should be worse than it is.
Ge. What then, han't you got what you sought for? Han't you caught the Game you hunted?
Li. Hunt! Ay, I did hunt indeed, but with very ill Success.
Ge. But is there no Hope then?
Li. Hope enough, but nothing else.
Ge. Did the Bishop give you no Hopes?
Li. Yes, whole Cart Loads, and whole Ship Loads of Hope; but nothing else.
Ge. Has he sent you nothing yet?
Li. He promis'd me largely, but he has never sent me a Farthing.
Ge. Then you must live in Hopes.
Li. Ay, but that won't fill the Belly; they that feed upon Hope may be said to hang, but not to live.
Ge. But however then, you were the lighter for travelling, not having your Pockets loaded.
Li. I confess that, nay, and safer too; for an empty Pocket is the best Defence in the World against Thieves; but for all that, I had rather have the Burthen and the Danger too.
Ge. You was not robb'd of any Thing by the Way, I hope?
Li. Robb'd! What can you rob a Man of that has nothing? There was more Reason for other Folks to be afraid of me, than I of them, having never a Penny in my Pocket. I might sing and be starved all the Way I went. Have you anything more to say?
Ge. Where are you going now?
Li. Strait Home, to see how all do there, whom I han't seen this long Time.
Ge. I wish you may find all well at Home.
Li. I pray God I may. Has any Thing new happen'd at our House since I went away?
Ge. Nothing but only you'll find your Family bigger than it was; for your Catulla has brought you a little Catulus since you have been gone. Your Hen has laid you an Egg.
Li. That's good News, I like your News, and I'll promise to give you a Gospel for it.
Ge. What Gospel? The Gospel according to St. Matthew?
Li. No, but according to Homer. Here take it.
Ge. Keep your Gospel to yourself, I have Stones enough at Home.
Li. Don't slight my Present, it is the Eagle's Stone; It is good for Women with Child; it is good to bring on their Labour.
Ge. Say you so? Then it is a very acceptable Present to me, and I'll endeavour to make you Amends.
Li. The Amends is made already by your kind Acceptance.
Ge. Nay, nothing in the World could come more seasonably, for my Wife's Belly is up to her Mouth almost.
Li. Then I'll make this Bargain with you; that if she has a Boy, you will let me be the Godfather.
Ge. Well I'll promise you that, and that you shall name it too.
Li. I wish it may be for both our Good.
Ge. Nay, for all our Good.
MAURICE, CYPRIAN.
Ma. You are come back fatter than you used to be: You are returned taller.
Cy. But in Truth I had rather it had been wiser, or more learned.
Ma. You had no Beard when you went away; but you have brought a little one back with you. You are grown somewhat oldish since you went away. What makes you look so pale, so lean, so wrinkled?
Cy. As is my Fortune, so is the Habit of my Body.
Ma. Has it been but bad then?
Cy. She never is otherwise to me, but never worse in my Life than now.
Ma. I am sorry for that. I am sorry for your Misfortune. But pray, what is this Mischance?
Cy. I have lost all my Money.
Ma. What in the Sea?
Cy. No, on Shore, before I went abroad.
Ma. Where?
Cy. Upon the English Coast.
Ma. It is well you scap'd with your Life; it is better to lose your Money, than that; the loss of ones good Name, is worse than the Loss of Money.
Cy. My Life and Reputation are safe; but my Money is lost.
Ma. The Loss of Life never can be repair'd; the Loss of Reputation very hardly; but the Loss of Money may easily be made up one Way or another. But how came it about?
Cy. I can't tell, unless it was my Destiny. So it pleas'd God. As the Devil would have it.
Ma. Now you see that Learning and Virtue are the safest Riches; for as they can't be taken from a Man, so neither are they burthensome to him that carries them.
Cy. Indeed you Philosophize very well; but in the mean Time I'm in Perplexity.
CLAUDIUS, BALBUS.
Cl. I am glad to see you well come Home Balbus.
Ba. And I to see you alive Claudius.
Cl. You are welcome Home into your own Country again.
Ba. You should rather congratulate me as a Fugitive from France.
Cl. Why so?
Ba. Because they are all up in Arms there.
Cl. But what have Scholars to do with Arms?
Ba. But there they don't spare even Scholars.
Cl. It is well you're got off safe.
Ba. But I did not get off without Danger neither.
Cl. You are come back quite another Man