Men of Wit and Satyr, but that Erasmus, according to the Genius of his Country, had more of the Humourist in him than Lucian, and in all Parts of Learning was infinitely his Superior. That Lucian liv'd in an Age, when Fiction and Fable had usurp'd the Name of Religion, and Morality was debauch'd by a Set of sowr Scoundrels, Men of Beard and Grimace, but scandalously lewd and ignorant, who yet had the Impudence to preach up Virtue, and stile themselves Philosophers, perpetually clashing with one another about the Precedence of their several Founders, the Merits of their different Sects, and if it is possible, about Trifles of less Importance; yet all agreeing in a different Way, to dupe and amuse the poor People by the fantastick Singularity of their Habits, the unintelligible Jargon of their Schools, and their Pretentions to a severe and mortified Life. This motly Herd of Jugglers Lucian in a great Measure help'd to chase out of the World, by exposing them in their proper Colours.
But in a few Generations after him, a new Generation sprung up in the World, well known by the Name of Monks and Friars, differing from the former in Religion, Garb, and a few other Circumstances, but in the main, the same individual Imposters; the same everlasting Cobweb-Spinners as to their nonsensical Controversies, the same abandon'd Rakehells as to their Morals; but as for the mysterious Arts of heaping up Wealth, and picking the Peoples Pockets, as much superior to their Predecessors the Pagan Philosophers, as an overgrown Favourite that cheats a whole Kingdom, is to a common Malefactor.
These were the sanctified Cheats, whose Follies and Vices Erasmus has so effectually lash'd, that some Countries have entirely turn'd these Drones out of their Cells, and in other Places where they are still kept, they are grown contemptible to the highest Degree, and oblig'd to be always upon their Guard.
THE FAMILIAR COLLOQUIES OF DESIDERIUS ERASMUS, OF ROTERDAM
This Colloquy teaches Courtesy and Civility in Saluting, who, when, and by what Title we ought to Salute.
At the First Meeting.
A Certain Person teaches, and not without Reason, that we should Salute freely. For a courteous and kind Salutation oftentimes engages Friendship, and reconciles Persons at Variance, and does undoubtedly nourish and increase a mutual Benevolence. There are indeed some Persons that are such Churls, and of so clownish a Disposition, that if you salute them, they will scarcely salute you again. But this Vice is in some Persons rather the Effect of their Education, than their natural Disposition.
It is a Piece of Civility to salute those that come in your Way; either such as come to us, or those that we go to speak with. And in like Manner such as are about any Sort of Work, either at Supper, or that yawn, or hiccop, or sneeze, or cough. But it is the Part of a Man that is civil even to an Extreme, to salute one that belches, or breaks Wind backward. But he is uncivilly civil that salutes one that is making Water, or easing Nature.
God save you Father, God save you little Mother, God save you Brother, God save you my worthy Master, God save you heartily Uncle, God save you sweet Cousin.
It is courteous to make Use of a Title of Relation or Affinity, unless when it carries something of a Reflection along with it, then indeed it is better not to use such Titles, tho' proper; but rather some that are more engaging, as when we call a Mother in Law, Mother; a Son in Law, Son; a Father in Law, Father; a Sister's Husband, Brother; a Brother's Wife, Sister: And the same we should do in Titles, either of Age or Office. For it will be more acceptable to salute an antient Man by the Name of Father, or venerable Sir, than by the Sirname of Age; altho' in antient Times they used to make use of [Greek: hô geron], as an honourable Title. God save you Lieutenant, God save you Captain; but not God save you Hosier or Shoe-maker. God save you Youth, or young Man. Old Men salute young Men that are Strangers to them by the Name of Sons, and young Men again salute them by the Name of Fathers or Sirs.
A MORE AFFECTIONATE SALUTATION BETWEEN LOVERS
God save you my little Cornelia, my Life, my Light, my Delight, my Sweet-heart, my Honey, my only Pleasure, my little Heart, my Hope, my Comfort, my Glory.
Either for the Sake of Honour or otherwise.
Sal. O Master, God bless ye.
Ans. Oh! Good Sir, I wish you the same.
Sal. God bless you most accomplish'd, and most famous Sir. God bless you again and again thou Glory of Learning. God save you heartily my very good Friend. God save you my Mæcenas.
Ans. God save you my Singular Patron, God save you most approv'd Sir. God save you, the only Ornament of this Age. God bless you, the Delight of Germany.
Sal. God bless you all together. God bless you all alike.
Ans. God bless you my brave Boys.
Sal. God save you merry Companion. God bless you Destroyer of Wine.
Ans. God bless you Glutton, and unmerciful Devourer of Cakes.
Sal. God bless you heartily President of all Virtue.
Ans. God bless you in like Manner, Pattern of universal Honesty.
Sal. God save you little old Woman of Fifteen Years of Age.
Ans. God save you Girl, eighty Years old.
Sal. Much good may it do you with your bald Pate.
Ans. And much good may it do you with your slit Nose. As you salute, so you shall be saluted again. If you say that which is ill, you shall hear that which is worse.
Sal. God save you again and again.
Ans. God save you for ever and ever.
Sal. God save you more than a thousand Times.
Ans. In truth I had rather be well once for all.
Sal. God bless you as much as you can desire.
Ans. And you as much as you deserve.
Sal. I wish you well.
Ans. But what if I won't be so? In truth I had rather be sick, than to enjoy the Health that you want.
God bless your Holiness, Your Greatness, Your Highness, Your Majesty, Your Beatitude, Your High Mightiness, are Salutations rather us'd by the Vulgar, than approv'd by the Learned.
In the Third Person.
Sapidus wishes Health to his Erasmus.
Sapidus salutes his Beatus, wishing him much Health.
Another Form.
Sal. God bless you Crito, I wish you well good Sir.
Ans. And I wish you better. Peace be to thee Brother, is indeed a Christian Salutation, borrow'd from the Jews: but yet not to be rejected. And of the like Kind is, A happy Life to you.
Sal. Hail Master.
Ans. In truth I had rather have than crave.
Sal. [Greek: Chaire].
Ans. Remember you are at Basil, and not Athens.
Sal. How do you then dare to speak Latin when you are not at Rome?
Forms of well Wishing.
And to wish well is a Sort of Salutation.
To a Woman with Child.
God send you a good Delivery, and that you may make your Husband Father of a fine Child. May the Virgin Mother make you a happy Mother. I wish that this swell'd Belly may asswage happily. Heaven grant that this Burthen you carry, whatsoever it is, may have as easy an out-coming as it had an in-going. God give you a good Time.
To Guests.
Happy be this Feast. Much good may it do all the Company. I wish all Happiness to you all. God give you a happy Banquet.
To one that sneezes.
May