“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea.” —C. JoyBell C.
What if, by reversing years of unconscious conditioning, you could return to the perspective of a non-drinker? Not a recovering (sober) alcoholic but a person with the same desire, need, and craving for alcohol as someone who has never picked up a bottle—a true nondrinker. Well, you can. By the end of this book, you will be free to weigh the pros and cons of drinking and determine alcohol’s role in your life without emotional or illogical cravings. You can remain happy about your choice because it will be yours alone, decided from a place of freedom rather than out of obligation or coercion. Your desire to drink will be gone, so no matter what you choose you won’t feel like you are missing out. You won’t be pining for a drink or avoiding social situations because of temptation. Without desire there exists no temptation. Importantly, you won’t have to label yourself as diseased or powerless.
This book will change your perception by showing you why you drink, both psychologically and neurologically. You may believe you already understand why you drink—to relieve stress, engage socially, or liven up a party. These are your rationalizations for drinking, but you actually drink for subtler and less conscious reasons. Understanding these reasons will put you back in control. It will end your confusion and eliminate your misery. But first, we must undo years—decades—of unconscious conditioning about alcohol.
And don’t beat yourself up for anything you have struggled with in the past (including unsuccessful attempts to quit). It’s counterproductive. There is a powerful misconception that people who can’t control their drinking are weak-willed. In my experience it’s often the strongest, smartest, and most successful people who drink more than they should. Drinking, or wanting to drink, does not make you weak. You may find it hard to believe, but an inability to control how much you drink is not a sign of weakness. So let’s stop any self-loathing right now.
You may find it impossible to believe drinking less won’t involve deprivation. The idea of drinking less fills you, as it did me, with dread. You worry that parties and social occasions will become tedious and difficult to attend. If you drink to relieve stress, the thought of losing the added support you believe alcohol provides can be terrifying. But it’s true. With this approach you can effortlessly drink less and feel happy about it. What a euphoric, life-changing experience! You’ll be excited to go out with friends, even to bars, knowing that not a drop of alcohol will cross your lips.
Does drinking less mean drinking nothing? Do you need to quit forever? That will be up to you. You will make your own decision based on information that empowers you, giving you back control rather than imposing rules on you. We will explore all aspects of the drinking cycle. Don’t worry about making a decision about how much or how often you will drink now. What is important in this moment is that you have hope. You need to know this approach can and will work—that you will be released from the clutches of alcohol.
Maybe you think I don’t grasp your situation, how dependent you’ve become on booze. Perhaps you’ve been drinking heavily for many years, and these claims seem absurd. That’s OK. Skepticism won’t impact the result.
No matter why you picked up this book, you’ll find nothing but great news here. If you read, critically consider, and absorb the information in these pages, you will be inspired to sever or cut back on your relationship with alcohol without feeling deprived. In fact, you’ll be happy, possibly euphoric, about your decision. You will feel in control and empowered to make conscious, logical, fact-based choices about the role alcohol will play in your life. I encourage you to read between one and two chapters a day, progressing with momentum, yet allowing sufficient time to absorb the content.
Don’t change your day-to-day routine, even if it includes drinking. You heard correctly—feel free to continue to drink while reading the book. This may seem counterintuitive, but you will see that it is important to the process. Of course, if you have already stopped drinking there is no reason to start, and I am absolutely not encouraging you to do so. What’s important is that you continue your regular routines so you don’t create stress and foster a sense of deprivation while trying to absorb this information. You will need to focus and critically consider what This Naked Mind presents to you. However, it is important, if possible, to read sober in order to fully grasp the material. And don’t skip ahead. The concepts build on themselves. This book will challenge you, so please be willing to open your mind and question long-held beliefs.
Finally, be hopeful. You are about to accomplish something incredible—regaining control. I know it hasn’t happened yet, but you can be excited about it now. So, throughout the book, do your best to maintain a positive state of mind. Change often occurs when the pain of the current situation becomes so great you become willing to change without fully understanding what the future holds. You probably imagine a life without alcohol as painful, even scary. This perception encourages you to put off change as long as possible. I will show you how altering your drinking habits will not cause pain, but instead allow you to enjoy your life more than you ever thought possible. With this approach, you are not clutching to the proverbial burning platform. You do not have to choose between the lesser of two evils (continuing to drink or living a life of deprivation). Rather, you will make the simple choice between your current state and a bright and exciting future. It’s OK, even encouraged, to allow yourself to feel hopeful. This book contains a revolutionary approach. It will change your life for the better.
THIS NAKED MIND: HOW AND WHY IT WORKS
unconscious: un·con·scious | /әn'känSHәs/ noun.
The part of the mind that a person is not aware of but that is a powerful force in controlling behavior.
conscious: con·scious | /'känSHәs/ adjective.
Aware of something (such as a fact or feeling), knowing that something exists or is happening.
consciousness: con·scious·ness | /'känSHәs-nәss/ noun.
The condition of being conscious
: the quality or state of being aware especially of something within oneself
: the upper level of mental life which the person is aware of as contrasted with unconscious processes.
Definitions sourced from Merriam-Webster’s.
Conscious or Unconscious Thought?
Did you know your unconscious mind is responsible for your desires? Most of us don’t think about the distinction between our conscious and unconscious thoughts, but that distinction forms a vital piece of the alcohol puzzle. Studies confirm we have two separate cognitive (thinking) systems—the conscious and the unconscious.1 The give-and-take between unconscious choices and our rational, conscious goals can help explain the mystifying realities of alcohol.2 We are all fairly familiar with the conscious (or explicit) mind. Conscious learning requires the aware, intellectual grasp of specific knowledge or procedures, which you can memorize and articulate.3 When we want to change something in our lives, we usually start with a conscious decision. However, drinking is no longer a fully conscious choice in your life. Therefore, when you make a conscious decision to drink less, it’s almost impossible to adhere to that decision because your larger, more powerful unconscious mind missed the memo.
Unconscious learning happens automatically and unintentionally through experiences, observations, conditioning, and practice.4 We’ve been conditioned to believe we enjoy drinking. We think it enhances our social life and relieves boredom and stress. We believe these things below our conscious awareness. This is why, even