‘I never made him any promises, Jim. I never pretended there’d be any kind of happy-ever-after, so, yes. I’ll be fine.’
‘And what if he has a completely different take on things?’
She sat down on the arm of the couch, reaching over to stroke Rico’s dark mop of hair. ‘I hate what I’m doing to him, because he doesn’t deserve it. When all’s said and done he’s just an innocent victim of all the crap you and I created. All the crap we couldn’t cope with. He got caught in the middle, and that wasn’t really fair. So I hate what I’m doing to him.’ She sighed, picking up Rico’s carry-seat. ‘But, this is it.’ She turned to face Jim, her eyes determined as they stared into his. ‘No more running to Ryan Fisher. Because you won’t give me cause to any more. Will you?’
*
‘Looks like my dad and Amber are getting back together.’ Brandon sat down at the kitchen table, watching as Ellen emptied the dishwasher. ‘I’ve just been to see him, and I swear, it looked like some great weight had been lifted off his shoulders.’
Ellen slowly turned around, leaning back against the counter and folding her arms. ‘Your dad and Amber are getting back together? When… when did this happen?’
‘Last night, apparently.’ Brandon didn’t really want to go into the ins and outs of why it had happened. Jim had quite obviously managed to keep his past a secret for this long, which probably meant he wanted as few people to know about it as possible. Which was fine with Brandon. All he cared about was that his father was finally learning to live – and love – again.
Ellen frowned. ‘And does Ryan know about this?’
Brandon shrugged. ‘Not as far as I know. I’m assuming Amber’s gonna tell him, though. I mean, if her and Dad really are getting back together then they aren’t gonna be able to keep it under wraps for too long, are they? Given the circumstances.’
‘No. I suppose not.’ Ellen’s mind had wandered now. This was all happening a little faster and a lot sooner than she’d anticipated, but, if what Brandon was telling her was true then this left the door wide open for her to put her own little plan into action. It was time for her to begin making Ryan see sense. And Amber Sullivan had just made it a hell of a lot easier for her to start doing that.
*
‘Hey! How’s my little man? You all ready for a day with your dad?’ Ryan took the carry-seat from Amber and walked into the living room of the new home he was still getting used to. But having a kid, it really had changed him. And all of a sudden that quayside apartment hadn’t felt like such a great place to be. He’d wanted a house, with a garden and space for Rico to run around in. He’d wanted a home. A family home. So he’d moved to a new place on an exclusive estate just outside Newcastle, a lot more suburban but still close enough for him to be near the centre of town. It was everything Ryan had run a mile from when he’d first arrived back in the north-east. But now it was everything he needed.
It wasn’t exactly your average family home, though. He was Ryan Fisher, one of the most famous top-flight footballers around, and he had a reputation to keep up. He hadn’t changed that much. And although the house wasn’t exactly something straight out of Footballers’ Wives, it was still large and detached, with a back garden the size of a football pitch and four huge en suite bedrooms. And it was right next door to Gary and Debbie’s place. He’d needed to be near friends, to make sure that the life he was trying to get right stayed very much on track.
‘He’s had a feed, and he’s just been changed, and he managed a little sleep on the way here, but, I can’t promise he won’t be wide awake for a while now.’
‘That’s okay, isn’t it, kiddo? We’ll find something to do.’ He looked up at Amber. ‘When do you head back down to London?’
‘Tomorrow afternoon. We’re recording a few episodes of Back of the Net on Tuesday, then I’m in the studio for the League Cup games on Wednesday night… Can I trust that between you and my dad you’ll make sure Rico’s alright?’
Ryan raised an eyebrow. ‘I think we’ll manage. Somehow.’
‘Yeah, well, my Aunty Kim’s on board, too, just in case you need her. I know my dad’s got to work, he’s got a home game midweek, and you might get waylaid… You know, I could just take him with me…’
‘Amber, Jesus, will you just calm down? Why are you suddenly so nervous of leaving him with me? This whole set-up has worked pretty well since you decided you weren’t even going to give maternity leave a try, so why are you panicking now?’
‘I’m not panicking, Ryan.’
‘Well, you’re not exactly calm, either. What’s up?’
She walked over to the window, staring out at the array of large, expensive houses, most of which were occupied by other big-name footballers and their WAGs, local celebrities, and the odd TV presenter. It wasn’t somewhere she’d ever really wanted to be, surrounded by all that glamour and extravagance. She preferred her own little home, not that far away from here. It felt more cosy, more homely. And it had been her safe haven for so many months. But would she be leaving it soon? To go back to Jim? Back to the home that carried memories, good and bad, despite the fact she’d only lived there for a matter of months.
‘Amber?’
She swung back around to face him. ‘Sorry? Did you say something?’
‘You were miles away. You alright?’
She folded her arms, looking down at the wooden floor because she didn’t think she could meet his eyes when she told him what she was about to tell him now. ‘Ryan, I…’ But she knew she owed him that. She owed him the truth, and she should look at him when she told him. She should look at him and she should feel the guilt she deserved to feel because Ryan didn’t deserve this. ‘I didn’t make you any promises, Ryan. Did I?’
He felt his stomach sink, a feeling that told him he wasn’t going to like what was coming next. ‘No. No, you didn’t.’
‘I never said this was all going to work out or that having Rico would guarantee we’d stay together.’
‘We were never really together, though, Amber. Were we?’
Her pale-blue eyes locked onto his as she shook her head, and that guilt she knew was coming swept over her like a cruel tidal wave. ‘I thought it would happen, Ryan. I really did. You have to believe that. And I do love you… I do, but… I’m in love with Jim. I’m in love with him, and I can’t change that. No matter how hard I try, and I have tried. I have. I really have. I tried so hard to move on, but, I can’t. I can’t do it.’
Ryan knew this had been coming. He wasn’t stupid; he wasn’t naïve enough to think that he’d had her forever. But a little more time would have been nice. Because, who knows what could have happened, with a little more time?
‘He’ll hurt you, Amber. Again, and again. He’ll hurt you.’
‘No.’ Amber shook her head. ‘Not this time. No.’
‘Are you really that blinkered?’
‘Don’t make this harder, Ryan.’
‘For who? You? What about me, Amber? Huh? What about me? You’re taking my son away from me…’
‘No, Ryan, I’m not. I would never do that. Never.’
‘Are you moving back in with him?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t know what’s happening now.’
‘I guess those plans to move to London have changed, then, huh?’
She looked at him. ‘I don’t know what’s happening, Ryan. Okay?’ She leaned back against the wall, pushing a hand