all the way from the elevator, I didn’t know. I just knew that, what was happening here, I was ready for it. I wanted it. I wanted him – this tall, dark, dangerous stranger with the beard and the bikes. My Harley Davidson-riding hero. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling, and he looked at me, smiling too.
‘You sure? Because…’
I shut him up with a kiss, sliding his jacket back off his shoulders, hearing it fall to the floor with a soft thud.
‘Well, I think if we’re playing fair here, darlin’, then you need to lose some clothing too.’
I laughed quietly, my mouth still touching his. ‘I’m not wearing a jacket. You were. I’d say we’re pretty much even now.’
‘Oh, I gotta feisty one here.’
I closed my eyes again as I felt his hand slide up and under my dress, resting on my thighs. I bit down on my lip, our eyes locked together as I silently gave him the permission he was looking for.
‘You sure you’re okay with this?’ His gaze dropped to my still-heaving chest, the fingers of his other hand sliding just underneath the top of my dress, causing me to gasp out loud as they touched my breasts.
All I could do was nod, the need to take this to its somewhat inevitable conclusion achingly painful.
‘I’m okay with this,’ I whispered, aware that he was tugging at my knickers, and I helped him slowly slide them down until they gathered around my ankles. Kicking them away, I stared into his eyes as I pushed my dress down over my breasts, my hips, letting that drop to the floor too, stepping out of it, leaving me naked, bar those spike-heeled boots. And I felt nothing but a sense of overwhelming freedom. No fear. No nerves. I was naked, in front of this man I’d only just met, and I felt incredible.
‘Oh, Jesus, Lana, sweetheart… you truly are beautiful.’
Yeah, and so was he, in that rough, edgy way I was finding so sexy. But, right now, I was done with the talking. It was time for the action we’d probably both been looking for since the second we’d met in the elevator just a few short hours ago.
I backed right up against the wall, raising my arms above my head, closing my eyes as his fingers slid between mine, his mouth gently brushing over my neck with kisses so light I couldn’t help but moan out loud.
‘Are you sure, Lana?’His fingers tightened around mine, and I had a feeling that, as long as he kept talking to me, his voice could more than likely bring me to orgasm without him even having to touch me. But I wanted to be touched. Oh, God, did I want to be touched! ‘Really sure?’
I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I didn’t want to think about the reality of the situation – that we were, quite obviously, going to have sex and then our lives would go their separate ways. I didn’t want to think about that. I just wanted to do this. For me. This man, he wanted me. I wanted him. We both wanted this. Even if we had only known each other a few hours.
I nodded, and then he was holding me tight, his mouth crashing against mine with a force that literally took my breath away as he lifted me up, my legs wrapping firmly around his hips. I should have been scared. Or at least had the decency to feel just the tiniest hint of nerves – I hadn’t had sex in so long, not since I’d left Adam. I hadn’t even wanted it. Until now. Until this very second.
Throwing my head back slightly, my eyes closed again as his mouth moved down to my breasts, covering them in the lightest of kisses, his rough beard tickling my skin, and I couldn’t help giggling slightly, a giggle that fast turned into a long, low, drawn-out moan as his tongue circled my nipple, causing goose bumps to break out in epic proportions all over my skin.
But then, a wave of ice-cold reality swept over me, hitting me from right out of nowhere, and I unwrapped my legs from around him, pushing him gently away. ‘I’m sorry, Eddie, but I… I don’t think I can do this,’ I whispered, retrieving my dress from the floor, hurriedly pulling it back on.
‘It’s okay.’ He smiled, and I felt that wave of reality start to retreat almost as quickly as it had appeared. ‘Really. Believe me, darlin’, I’m not just here for the sex.’
Did he mean that? How the hell could I possibly know? When I didn’t know him. Which was why I really shouldn’t have even been thinking about having sex with him. But we’d been so close to it just then, and my body had almost let itself go there, because I’d wanted it, I really had. I’d wanted him. But was that not just because my head was all over the place, because of my divorce, and the fact that this man wanted me? Wanted sex with me?
I closed my eyes for a couple of beats, turning and walking over to the bed. My skin felt warm, those tiny goose bumps that had appeared just seconds earlier still covering it, the tingling between my thighs growing stronger by the second.
‘Lana?’
I turned around, my eyes meeting his, and they stayed fixed on him as he walked over to me. I didn’t want him to go. I really didn’t want him to go. There was still some crazy connection here that went way deeper than a physical need, and I was starting to find it all slightly confusing now. This was so out of my comfort zone.
‘I’m… I’m fine,’ I stuttered, feeling my heart start to race faster as he stood there in front of me, those dark eyes of his so intense I could feel every defence I was trying to put up weakening, crumbling down around me. There was still a part of me that was struggling for identity… Fuck it! You only live once. And whatever this was, whatever it turned out to be, I was taking it all, and I was going to enjoy it. I deserved that much, didn’t I?
He smiled a slow smile as I once more slipped out of my dress, kicking it across the room in a manner verging on vicious, almost as if I didn’t want to give myself another excuse to grab it again.
Moving closer, he slid a hand around the back of my neck, his fingers winding into my hair as he gently pulled my head back, his mouth lowering down onto mine in another of those incredible kisses. I could lose myself in those kisses. Completely and utterly lose myself. They semed to go on forever, both of us separating only when he pulled back to take off his t-shirt, revealing an array of tattoos that took my breath away. Covering both his arms, his shoulders, chest and back, I’d never seen ink like it. Skulls and knives, fire and flames, vibrant colour and deep, deep black; designs I’d never seen before. I could have spent a good half an hour just checking them out. And maybe I would, later.
I felt my heart start to pound, hammering hard inside of me, the anticipation both terrifying and exciting. I’d never done anything like this before. Ever. I’d only made love to one man my entire life, never really needing to know what another body felt like until I’d pulled my safe and comfortable world down around myself. Then everything had changed!
Once again he lifted me up, my legs briefly wrapping themselves back around him as he lay me down on the bed, my heart still trying its hardest to escape the confines of my chest with a heavy, almost painful, rhythm. I closed my eyes, pulling my legs up slightly, stretching out as I waited for him to undress, trying not to over-think this, because doing that just increased the nerves I was already feeling. Yeah, they’d suddenly hit me, those nerves. And I didn’t want to feel nervous. I just wanted to let this happen.
I kept my eyes closed, feeling his hands on my knees gently push my legs further apart, allowing him to lie between, his body warm and hard against mine. A shockwave coursed through me, merging with an excitement I was finding hard to control and I breathed out deeply, desperately trying to push the old Lana further away. She needed to go, and take the past with her. She needed to go, now.
Keeping my arms stretched up above my head, I arched my back as his fingers slowly intertwined with mine, and I clung onto him, my eyes finally opening, meeting his.
‘Okay?’ he whispered, gripping my fingers tight.
I nodded, letting that tingling between my thighs take over, feeling it spread further up my body, causing the goose bumps to grow and my heart to continue racing at a rate I was finding hard to