her and said it would be her turn next, thinking she was talking about settling down, meeting the right man and starting a family. What she actually meant was that she wanted Antonio for herself.’
Harrison’s expression changes to anger and he vents his exasperation with a harsh sigh.
‘Jealousy is an ugly emotion. You’re the victim in all of this, Leah. It’s ridiculous that you regard yourself in any way as a part of the problem.’
I shake my head, reaching out to touch his arm to calm his look of agitation.
‘I didn’t want to face the fact that things weren’t right between us, Harrison, and that was a failing on my part. Antonio didn’t feel he could be honest with me, so what sort of wife was I?’
He drums his fingers on the countertop. ‘Leah, your thought processes are all mixed up here. Seriously, you need to speak to someone about this. A professional. From where I’m sitting it’s obvious this has left you with an inability to judge yourself fairly. You think you’re lacking in some way because this whole sorry experience has damaged your self-esteem.
‘Antonio chose not to talk to you and, as for your sister, well, I’m sorry but she knew the enormity of what she was doing. I know that’s hard to hear and probably hard to think about, too. That’s why you’re still not over it. You never will be until you get it all out and learn to love yourself again, as much as you love Rosie.’
I’m trembling as I sit here listening to his words and he suddenly throws an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him.
‘Hey, it’s okay. I’m here for you, lovely lady. We can be a crutch for each other, can’t we? You can kick my ass and I’ll kick yours when it’s needed. Now finish that drink and let’s have a fun evening. Life is too short to waste a moment of it and we’re both survivors. Watch out world, that’s all I can say.’
I look at Harrison with gratitude in my eyes and he smiles at me with a gentleness and understanding that makes me feel blessed. I realise that what I needed most wasn’t a romantic interlude but a friend to come into my life and show me the way forward.
‘I’ll enjoy kicking your ass,’ I smile and he tilts his head back and laughs, softly.
~
The entertainment is what you would expect from a West End show in London and is a lavish production. A Night at the Movies celebrates some of the biggest blockbuster films and their songs from the Sixties to the Nineties, which instantly transport you back to the storyline.
People are up on their feet dancing along and clapping to songs like Phil Collins’s ‘Two Hearts’ from Buster and ‘Maniac’ from Flashdance transports us all back to that infamous, on-stage dance scene. Seal’s ‘Kiss from a Rose’ celebrates the unforgettable Batman Forever, while Barbra Streisand’s ‘Evergreen’ recaptures the on-screen magic of A Star is Born. I don’t think there’s one person left sitting when the Bee Gees’ ‘Stayin’ Alive’ strikes up and no one can forget a young John Travolta strutting his stuff. But Lulu’s ‘To Sir with Love’ conjures up another era and it’s good to hear a classic oldie.
There’s a standing ovation at the end and I don’t know who enjoyed it more, Harrison or me.
‘Well, that was amazing and now I’m buzzing. But I’m going to be shattered in the morning, no doubt,’ I admit.
‘How about a walk along the deck before bed? There’s a beautiful sky tonight.’
As the crowd disperses we make our way up to the sports area on deck twelve. Harrison is right, it’s a beautiful, balmy night but there’s a lovely cool breeze coming off the water, making it very pleasant indeed. With a surprisingly light sky and no cloud at all, the three-quarter moon is light enough that only the biggest stars are distinguishable and twinkle like pinpricks on a huge canvas.
Harrison stops to lean on the railing, looking out towards the distant horizon.
‘Don’t mind me if I stand back a little. I have a bit of a fear of heights, I’m afraid. The ship is so huge I can even forget we’re afloat, but the moment I look over the side my legs turn to jelly,’ I admit apologetically.
Harrison immediately pulls back and we begin strolling along together, doing a circuit of the jogging track which is totally empty.
‘It’s almost 2 a.m. but onboard the night is still young.’
‘Well, that might be the case but I’m flagging. One circuit and I need to climb into bed as tomorrow I have a lot of travelling to do. I’m so grateful for meeting you, Harrison, thank you for understanding.’
‘I meant every single word I said earlier on tonight, Leah. I think that we were always destined to be friends and that’s why our paths crossed. The universe gives us what we need to move forward but it’s up to us to recognise that and act upon it.’
I nod in agreement. ‘I feel like I have a constant battle going on inside of me, Harrison and I’m fed up of it.’
He stops in his tracks and I spin around to face him.
‘We’re both capable of getting through that next step in our lives. We deserve to be loved. You get some therapy and I’ll find a way to come out to my parents. Deal? And if we falter we can be there for each other, that listening ear; someone who understands all about living with a nightmare.’
I guess I’d be a real hypocrite if I thought that Harrison’s challenge is any easier than my own, but having therapy and thinking about loving a new someone? Thankfully I’m now too tired to do more than simply drop into bed, as the ship sails onwards to the port of Civitavecchia.
I wake just as the ship is docking and I hop out of bed, drawing back the curtains to glance out over the port. There is only one other cruise ship moored up but there’s a wide range of smaller ships and boats as far as the eye can see. Civitavecchia is very spread out and it’s obviously a popular port, being so close to Rome.
In front of the ship is a jetty with a road leading up to a series of car parks. Parallel with that is a massive, off-white stone building. It’s twice as long as the jetty, with an imposing circular tower dominating the centre of it. It’s quite a beautiful building and with the sun glinting on the shiny white vessels all around, as ports go it’s pretty enough to resemble a luxury marina.
I’m conscious I don’t have a lot of time. I did my packing late yesterday afternoon but I still need to put the last-minute things in my case and get myself ready. The shuttle bus will be here at nine-thirty.
It’s just gone 8 a.m. when I make my way to the café to meet Harrison for our last breakfast together. He greets me with a big smile and I really appreciate that he has made this last couple of days an even better experience for me
‘Morning, lovely lady. You look good and rested. Did you sleep well?’
He kisses my cheek and pulls out a chair for me.
‘I did, surprisingly. How about you?’
He grimaces. ‘I spent most of the night having the conversation in my head and every time I stumbled. The words just wouldn’t flow and I kept imagining the look on people’s faces.’
The waitress appears and we order, then settle back in our chairs. I look at him and can feel the battle raging within.
‘What’s the hardest part of coming out, for you?’
He shakes his head, sadly, looking defeated and shrugging his shoulders.
‘Facing up to my own fear, I suppose, that people I love will look at me differently from there on in. What if they don’t understand? My parents were, no doubt, expecting