six foot three with crinkly green eyes and dark blond hair. My watch said 8.06 p.m. Oh God. Was he about to stand me up?
My phone vibrated. Fuck, fuck, fuck. It was from him.
Hey, just inside next to the ticket machine. Wearing a red scarf. Holding a book. See you soon!
I sighed in relief that he hadn’t stood me up—and then realised with a jolt that this was actually happening. I was about to have an actual internet date. It was too late to run away. Oh God.
Feeling sicker than ever, I wrapped my jacket tightly around me and slowly stepped into the station. The ticket machine was on the left. As promised, there was a tall man standing next to it. I quickly ducked behind a Big Issue seller and peeped out over his shoulder to spy on JT. I couldn’t see his face but he was wearing a black woollen coat with a maroon scarf. I breathed out in relief; he looked hot from behind.
I stood up straight and boldly walked over to him. My blood was pounding, but I forced myself to keep going. When I was inches away, I cleared my throat. He turned around to face me and the smile on my face plummeted.
JT WAS ANCIENT.
He had wrinkles, greying hair, and, oh my fucking God, was he missing a tooth?! I felt a stream of bile rise up into my mouth and I gagged audibly.
He opened his mouth to speak but before he could say a word, I whirled around and ran out of the station. When I was outside I started breathing slowly. It was OK. These things happened but at least I was in public and the elderly JT couldn’t attack me. I was safe.
‘Ellie,’ called a voice behind me. Oh my fucking God. It was him—he’d found me and now he was about to attack me. I quickened my pace and ran past benches full of staring passers-by. I turned my head to check if he was following me and fell flat on my face onto the pavement.
‘Are you all right?’
I looked up in pain and saw an attractive blond man smiling above me. His dark green eyes crinkled as he smiled and there were no wrinkles to be seen. It was JT_ldn. The real one.
‘I … don’t understand,’ I said. ‘You look like your picture.’
‘Erm, should I not?’ he asked with a raised eyebrow. My eyes flew straight to his neck. He was wearing a bright red scarf, three shades lighter than the maroon scarf I’d just seen. With a wave of relief, I realised that this was the JT I’d meant to meet and the other man was just an awful, awful coincidence in a maroon scarf.
I had officially fucked up.
‘No, no, it’s a good thing, trust me,’ I said, as I pulled myself off the kerb.
‘Right, and do you always run away from your dates? This is the first time I’ve had to chase after someone on a date, you know.’ He grinned.
I felt my cheeks flush as I realised what I’d just done. I had just run away from the hottest date I’d ever had. And then tripped on a jagged pavestone.
‘So, um, about that,’ I said sheepishly. ‘The red scarf thing kind of threw up a bit of confusion.’
‘Go on …’
I sighed. ‘Well, there’s a forty-year-old, fat, unattractive man wearing a red scarf down by the ticket machine. I thought he was you, or you were him, or I don’t know.’
He threw back his head and howled with laughter. I noticed in relief that he had all his teeth. ‘That’s hilarious. You thought I was some paedo?’
‘Essentially … yeah.’ I winced. ‘Sorry. I’m so embarrassed.’
‘Don’t be, this is a great story to tell the grandkids.’ Grandkids?! We hadn’t even held hands yet. ‘I’m kidding,’ he added.
‘Yeah, obviously.’ I laughed nervously. ‘Sorry, I’m still all over the place from the whole paedo thing. And then the running away bit. Can we start over?’
He smiled and held out his right hand. ‘Sure, I’m JT. Good to meet you.’
‘I’m Ellie. Nice to meet you too,’ I said, shaking his hand.
‘Great, so now we’ve got the formalities out of the way, how about we go and grab some food?’ I nodded happily, ignoring the weighted lump of undigested pasta in my stomach reminding me I had just eaten a whole pack of tortellini. ‘So there’s a fun Chinese buffet place up the corner. You keen?’
‘Buffet?’
‘Yeah, but you do have to be pretty hungry to get your money’s worth, so if you’re not that hungry, we can always just get tacos or something elsewhere,’ he suggested.
Tacos sounded perfect—but what if he thought I was one of those anorexic girls who couldn’t handle buffets? My appetite was the one positive attribute guys loved about me. All my male friends were terrified of dating skinny dieting girls who only ordered salads and counted calories—they’d all told me this was my niche. Considering I didn’t have that many, I knew I had to work it.
I mentally said goodbye to the light, refreshing tacos and prepared myself for a second carby dinner. ‘Buffet sounds great.’
‘Are you sure?’ he asked. There it was, my get-out card. I just had to say no and we could get tacos.
‘Yeah, definitely. I’m starving.’
‘Cool, it’s just down here,’ he said, gesturing as we started walking down the high street. ‘So, how has your day been?’
‘Um, pretty uneventful until the past ten minutes,’ I said.
‘Same.’ He laughed. ‘I can’t say I imagined I’d be running down the street behind my first OKCupid date.’
‘This is your first time too?’ I asked.
‘Yeah, I thought I’d give it a try and do something new.’ He shrugged. ‘Everyone kept raving about it at work, so I figured I’d give it a shot. What about you? What made you take the virtual leap?’
‘Um …’ I racked my brains for an appropriate response that didn’t have the phrase ‘slut’ or ‘one-night stand’ in it. ‘Pretty much the same as you, really. Just something different.’
‘Yeah.’ He nodded. ‘I guess I’m just looking for whatever happens, really. Whether that’s a relationship or just … casual fun.’ He looked straight into my eyes and I felt a tingle run up my spine. Thank God I’d shaved my legs and trimmed my bush—one-night stand, here I come.
He looked at me questioningly and I realised I’d stopped walking. ‘Yeah, I’m the same,’ I said. ‘Just looking for whatever life throws at me.’
He raised an eyebrow at me. ‘Are you quoting my dating profile?’
Oh fuck. I was unconsciously reciting the ‘Looking for’ section of his profile. I knew I shouldn’t have read it so many times. ‘Um, unintentionally?’
He laughed. ‘Well, at least you’ve done your homework. Gotta be safe, eh?’
‘Exactly.’ I grinned. ‘So, uh, is this the restaurant?’ We were standing outside the fanciest Chinese restaurant I’d ever seen. Stone lions were wrapped around the columns at the front and the words ‘Red Dragon’ were written in a non-tacky gold.
‘This is it,’ he said. ‘Hope you’re hungry.’
My plate was heaped with Ma Po Tofu, steamed aubergine, egg fried rice and crispy seaweed. The whole thing cost £18.99 and I’d eaten only three chopsticks’ worth.
‘This is so good,’ said JT, as he finished his first helping. ‘Do you not like it? You’ve barely eaten a thing.’ He looked discerningly at the mound of food on my plate.
‘Oh God, no, it’s amazing. I’m just pacing myself.’ I raised my chopsticks to my mouth and forced myself to swallow. It was the nicest Chinese I’d