energy for when you start pushing.’
Ellen ran down the stairs and back to the kitchen, glancing into the sitting room on her way to check on Marie’s mother. Happily she seemed to have dozed off in front of the television. Ellen put the kettle on to boil, found the kitchen scissors and scrubbed her hands. Then she placed the pan on the stove to boil the scissors. After that she ran back upstairs, found some towels and went back into the bedroom. To her dismay even the small bit of effort involved had made her breathless. It was an untimely reminder of her own medical condition. One that she didn’t need right now.
Sean looked up and noticed that she was puffing as if she’d run a half marathon. ‘You need to get to the gym more often.’ He grinned. ‘That’s what happens to city girls, Marie.’
Over the top of Marie’s head, he winked at her. Ellen knew he was trying to keep the mood light, but for a moment she felt like socking him.
‘Contractions now coming two minutes apart,’ Sean continued.
At this rate they had only minutes before it was time for Marie to push. They exchanged a glance and Ellen found herself relaxing. Everything was going to be okay.
After she’d placed several towels underneath Marie she ran back downstairs to fetch the pan with the scissors. She’d leave them cooling in the water. That way she wouldn’t have to touch them until she was ready.
Ellen placed her hands on Marie’s abdomen. The contractions were regular and strong. The difficulty would be when she started to push the baby out. Sometimes with a breech delivery, the baby’s head got stuck. That was the critical time. With the rest of the body and the cord outside the birth canal the baby would try to breathe but be starved of oxygen. They had to stop that from happening.
Suddenly Marie cried out. ‘It’s coming. Oh, God, I have to push.’ She drew her legs up instinctively and Ellen could just see the first signs of the baby appearing and a greenish discharge as well. Meconium. Ellen looked at Sean and raised one eyebrow in silent query about whether they should be worried.
‘Meconium is normal with breech babies.’ Sean answered the unspoken question. ‘Your baby is going to be here soon, Marie.’
It was good that Marie didn’t know that Ellen’s heart was still pounding almost as fast as her patient’s. If Sean was worried at all, and he must be, he was keeping it well hidden.
‘It’s coming again,’ Marie gasped.
‘Draw up your knees, take a big breath and push hard into your bottom. Your baby is almost here now,’ Ellen encouraged.
Suddenly, the baby’s bottom slid into view, followed by the torso and thighs. Sean grasped the baby’s trunk and turned the shoulders uppermost.
‘Another push, Marie. You’re doing fantastically well,’ Ellen said.
Sean used his fingers to ease the baby’s arms across the tiny chest, before guiding the shoulders through the birth canal.
So far so good. The baby’s chest moved as it took a gasp. And again. They needed to get the rest of the baby out—and quickly.
‘What’s happening?’ Marie asked, panic in her voice.
‘We need to wait for the next contraction then you must give the biggest push of all, Marie,’ Ellen said, trying to sound as calm as possible. It seemed like minutes had passed. Where had the contractions gone?
‘I’ll support Marie’s legs, Ellen, while you deliver the baby,’ Sean said. ‘Just lift up baby’s feet and support the chin and cheeks with your right hand and the baby will come.’
Ellen knew that Sean wasn’t talking to her so much as to the mother. Ellen had attended breech births in her time, but that had always been with a full paediatric team in attendance.
Sure enough, with the next contraction the baby’s face and forehead eased out and Ellen was suddenly holding the limp baby boy by the feet. Her heart hammered against her ribs. They needed to get the baby breathing. Ellen placed the tiny infant on the clean towels she had laid on the bed.
‘Why isn’t my baby crying? Why is he so quiet? Is he all right?’ Marie was scrambling onto her elbows, desperate to see her child.
‘They are often a little stunned when they come out bottom first,’ Sean explained. He wiped baby’s face and body vigorously with the towel then held two fingers against his tiny chest.
‘Heart rate’s good.’ Although he smiled, Ellen could see the tension in his eyes. ‘Come on, baby, time to breathe,’ he murmured under his breath.
If only they had some oxygen to give the baby. Or a neonatal face mask.
Just as Ellen began to fear the worst, the baby gave a huge gasp followed by a soft whimpering sound. Thank God! Ellen looked up at Sean, and he gave her a slow smile.
‘Congratulations, Marie. You have a baby boy,’ Ellen announced.
Later, after mother and baby were settled, Ellen and Sean stepped to the side to give them some time alone. Now that the adrenaline was seeping away, Ellen felt shaky.
Sean smiled at her. ‘Well done. We make a good team.’
And they had.
‘I’d hate to think what would have happened if we hadn’t been able to get here,’ she said. ‘It could have had a very different outcome.’
‘I guess that’s why we do what we do. There’s no feeling quite like delivering a healthy baby when the odds are stacked against it.’
They looked across to Marie, who was murmuring to her baby as he suckled. Under the satisfaction and pleasure Ellen felt at the sight was a deep sadness. Now that the emergency was over she allowed herself to look properly at the baby they had just delivered. He had the cutest bow lips and snub nose and a smattering of fine blond hair on his head. Tiny fingers reached out to his mother as he fed, and, as his tiny legs kicked with pleasure, Ellen’s heart cracked a little.
She would never know what it was like to hold her baby in her arms. She would never feel her child’s skin against hers, never know what it was like to love and be loved unconditionally. Never know the joy and the pain, and she knew there was always pain when it came to loving, of bringing up a child. She forced the thought away. There was nothing to be gained in thinking like that.
At least she’d been able to cope with seeing a baby born without breaking down. Up until this moment she hadn’t been sure that she could. Now she knew that eventually she would be able to go back to being a midwife and the knowledge was a huge relief. Being able to help other women achieve what she never could, would give her life purpose again. If her time on this earth was limited, at least she was making a difference to someone else’s life. It was the first step towards a future.
‘I’m going to call him Sean,’ Marie said, looking up from her feeding baby. ‘If he’d been a girl I would have called her Ellen.’
‘Great choice of name,’ Sean said with a grin.
‘Ideally we should take you to the hospital,’ Ellen told Marie. ‘But that would mean taking baby Sean into the cold as well as taking your mother with us. I’m guessing that she wouldn’t cope with being left on her own? So, if you like, you could remain here and I’ll stay with you.’
Marie’s eyes lit up. ‘Could we? My sister was going to come to be with Mum but of course, with the baby being a bit early she’s not here. I did phone her as soon as I knew I was in labour and she said she’d set off as soon as she could. She lives in Glasgow so I don’t know how long it will take her, or even if the roads are passable. Would you really stay with me? Don’t you have somewhere else to be?’
Ellen shook her head. ‘Right now there is nowhere I need or want to be more than here.’
CHAPTER THREE
THE