What is Inner Beauty?
It’s the surprise act of kindness from that man driving the bus.
It’s the laughter of a friend who has suffered so much.
It’s a giggling baby on an overcrowded train.
It’s the fragrance of a rose, given freely again.
It’s looking in the mirror and loving my soul.
It’s embracing those changes, as we all grow old.
It’s a long, loving hug that says ‘we’re in this together’.
It’s the dawning truth when someone dies, That life is precious, And love is all that really matters in the end.
Inner Beauty is like a kaleidoscope: a beautiful way of seeing, with as many dimensions as there are eyes to see. The word kaleidoscope is actually derived from the Greek words kalos meaning ‘beautiful’ and eidos meaning ‘that which is seen’. What kind of visions does the idea of Inner Beauty conjure up in your mind?
I’ve been immersed in the world of beauty for most of my career. Originally as a make-up artist in fashion and music, my job was to make people look more beautiful. But then I fell in love with crystals and sacred rituals, and my relationship with beauty deepened. Although I loved helping my clients feel amazing before their big event, I got to a point where I realized there was something missing. At the end of the day we all go home and wash our faces off, back to staring at our stripped-back selves. I realized there was a deeper kind of beauty that I could help myself and my clients connect to. I started to lay out crystals and other sacred objects next to the lipsticks and blushers in my make-up station. This simple act had such a lovely and calming effect on me, and on my clients, during what were often super-long and busy working days. I discovered that beautiful objects and sensory rituals can help us connect to an Inner Beauty that is always there, just waiting for us to remember. Do you have moments in your life where you use objects of beauty to bring you a deep sense of inner peace, love or joy?
When Hollywood star and humanitarian Audrey Hepburn was asked towards the end of her life to reveal her beauty secrets, she said: ‘The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.’
Can you think of anyone in your life who radiates that unmistakable quality of Inner Beauty? Someone in whose presence you feel instantly at home? What is it about these people, these moments, these encounters, that touch our hearts just so?
Just as I’d try to capture the essence of roses in water as a child, as an adult I’ve been discovering how to capture the essence of Inner Beauty. Trust me, there’ve been plenty of times in my life when I’ve felt far from radiant. But even in those more challenging moments of life, I’ve often felt like there is a voice that whispers to me, pointing me back to the beauty in my heart. Sometimes this whisper would come in the shape of a kind gesture or the scent of a flower; the simplest things that could in seconds wake me up from an irritable mood.
One of the most incredible phenomena of recent times has been the growth in mindfulness. It inspires me to see more and more people slowing down and tuning in to their inner worlds. A big part of mindfulness is bringing our attention away from our manic minds to our more grounded senses. For me, when we bring our attention to our senses, we allow ourselves to connect more deeply with the beauty of the world. When we slow down and connect with the beauty of the world through our senses, it opens up a greater space for the beauty inside ourselves. This is the sweet essence of the mindful rituals I am sharing with you in this book.
Of course, I totally get how it is being a busy bee in modern life, juggling work, home, relationships. Sometimes it’s hard to remember to stop and smell the roses. We’re exposed to such a whirlwind of media with hidden and not-so-hidden messages about how we should look, how we should feel and what we need to make us happy. The beauty industry is ever growing. And life is just becoming faster and faster. We find ourselves with an overwhelming sense of having loads to do and never enough time to do it. I know when I’m overwhelmed, I often feel like climbing into bed, snuggling up and switching off. I can easily get lost in the rabbit hole of mindless reality TV shows, gorging on comfort food, shrinking back into my shell. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with downtime; we definitely need downtime just to restore ourselves. But I’ve also realized it’s life-enriching to find ways in our day-to-day life where we can simply slow down and reconnect to our Inner Beauty. In the middle of the storm of modern life, Inner Beauty is the stable eye. As we cultivate our Inner Beauty, we will be kinder to ourselves, and kinder to each other. We are all on a journey back to a place of beauty that’s already there, a secret garden hidden inside all of us, just waiting to be rediscovered.
‘I realized there was a deeper kind of beauty I could help myself and my clients connect to.’
How to Use This Book
‘Polish the heart, free the six senses and let them function without obstruction, and your entire body will glow.’
Morihei Ueshiba, founder of the Japanese martial art of Aikido
My hope in writing this book is to help you create beautiful sacred spaces and simple rituals that will strengthen your connection to Inner Beauty. Adding these flourishes of beauty to my own life, along with a clear, mindful intention, has repeatedly helped bring me back to a more positive, peaceful and loving space.
The book is divided into sections representing different aspects of your life. You’ll get tips on how to incorporate rituals derived from ancient wisdom traditions into your modern life. You’ll be able to turn to different pages in the book, according to your particular need in any given moment. You might think of this as a recipe book for Inner Beauty. Once you start to build these Inner Beauty rituals into your daily life, you will find that your connection to your Inner Beauty becomes more stable, and you will naturally start to see more beauty in the world around you. Wayne Dyer, a spiritual teacher who speaks directly to my heart, explained this process perfectly when he said: ‘If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.’
In this chapter are some key ideas that I’ve found really helpful as I explore ever more deeply the world of Inner Beauty:
1. INNER AND OUTER BEAUTY ARE TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN
This first idea is really the most important of all. It’s all too easy to become fixated on the external appearance of things, especially ourselves. How many days do we wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and find something about our appearance that we dislike, affecting our confidence for the rest of the day? When we start the day with a self-critical mind, we feel a bit rubbish inside and it doesn’t matter how much make-up we put on, we’ll still be a less beautiful being in the world. On the other hand, if we look after our Inner Beauty by cultivating certain important qualities like self-compassion, patience, forgiveness, we’ll instantly become more attractive in the world. Inner Beauty radiates in such a powerful way that we appear more beautiful in the eyes of others. In the same way, if we treat ourselves like the goddesses we are, looking after our external appearance in a less critical, more sacred, kind and loving way, then we’ll naturally radiate that unmistakable light of Inner Beauty. Inner and outer beauty really do go hand in hand.
2. OBJECTS IN THE WORLD AROUND US AFFECT OUR INNER WORLD THROUGH OUR SENSES
We are gifted with senses. Our senses are windows into a world filled