The concept is called wabi-sabi. The words refer to ‘the wisdom and beauty of imperfection’ (Taro Gold). One of my favourite examples of wabi-sabi is the Japanese tea ceremony, where utensils are purposefully chosen because they are simple, rustic, asymmetrical, and sometimes even deliberately chipped. But it was the way in which these imperfect objects were used with such great care, mindful grace and appreciation that brought the sense of beauty into the tea ritual.
These days we can get caught up in a drive to make things ever more perfect. I can see how easily the modern woman in particular can get weighed down with expectations to be a super-woman: being a perfect mum, a perfect wife or partner, a perfect friend, a perfect career woman, and the whole time trying to look good too. To nourish the inner garden that is our Inner Beauty, we can learn a lot from our ancestors and how they taught us to slow down, to turn our careful attention to the beautiful, especially in Nature, to look for the beautiful in everything, even or especially in those things that might seem imperfect at first glance. Life is not perfect. We will all at some point in our lives experience chips or cracks in the delicate china of our selves. Rather than brushing these imperfections under the carpet in a race to some perfect end goal, ancient wisdom traditions show us how we can embrace these cracks and see the beauty shining through them.
Defining Your Own Inner Beauty
‘The problem is you’re afraid to acknowledge your own beauty. Well, enough already. I sit before you because I see your beauty, even if you don’t.’
Ram Dass
Before we get into the specific Inner Beauty rituals I’ve collected for you here, I’d just like to kickstart our journey with a little ritual. This exercise will help you to understand what Inner Beauty means to you. Whatever you discover in this exercise will be your guide as you continue to cultivate the beauty within.
First, it can really help if you get a journal that you can dedicate completely to your own Inner Beauty. This can be a source of personal inspiration to you. You can keep quotes that inspire you, images that invoke Inner Beauty qualities for you, beautiful leaves you’ve collected. You can also write in here your answers to some of the questions I will be asking you throughout the book. In this journal, write down on the first page the following title: ‘Inner Beauty to me is …’
Now, put down your pen for just a moment. It can help to close your eyes for this exercise. Take in a deep breath and, with a big sigh, breathe out any stress or tension. Bring to your mind an image of a beautiful flower. Notice what it looks like, what colour it is, what it smells like, what it makes you feel inside. Now you’ve connected to a space of Inner Beauty, allow into your mind’s eye someone in your life who has an abundance of Inner Beauty. This might be someone you know. It might equally be someone you’ve never met. It could be someone you’ve read about. It could even be a fictional character, a hero or heroine, a god or goddess, a spiritual teacher, or an everyday person who just has that luminescent quality. Trust the image that your mind offers you. As this example of Inner Beauty crystallizes in your mind’s eye, take your time to explore what exactly it is about this person that brings for you an association with Inner Beauty. What are the qualities they represent for you? Are they kind, compassionate, grateful, light-hearted, forgiving, generous, serene, graceful, nurturing or something else? What are the specific gestures they made, the actions they took that represent Inner Beauty for you? Now allow yourself to sense what it feels like to be in their presence. What do you feel, and where do you feel it in your body? Perhaps you notice a certain warmth in your heart, a smile in your mind, or just a sense of peace or of being at home. Whatever the feeling is, allow yourself to really get to know this feeling for a moment. This is your feeling of Inner Beauty.
When you feel you have explored this Inner Beauty image in as much detail as you need, write down the qualities that you recognized in this person. Beneath or next to this, write down some words to describe the feelings that this example of Inner Beauty conjured up for you.
Now have a look through this list, and see if there’s anything else you’d add to it that you’d associate with Inner Beauty. If you’re feeling creative, you can draw something that represents Inner Beauty, or decorate the page with beautiful things, like pressed flowers or pretty fabrics.
This page will serve you as your reminder. You can turn to it whenever you’re feeling disconnected from your own Inner Beauty. You can even put it in your sacred space.
© Laurey Simmons (centre)
A Sacred Space Is a Gift to Your Soul
‘A sacred space is where you can find yourself over and over again.’
Joseph Campbell
A sacred space is simply one corner of our home environment where we keep beautiful objects that are special or sacred to us. Keeping a sacred space is a precious gift to our soul, a mirror reflecting back to us our Inner Beauty. Whenever I feel off-track, the sacred beauty of this space helps to refocus my mind and heart, a lovely reminder of how I want to be in the world.
You don’t need to be religious or spiritual to have a sacred space. All you need is a desire in your heart to be the best person you can be. One of the greatest challenges in life is to remember how we want to be in the world. I know for myself that, even with my best intentions to be calm, centred and beautiful on the inside, life can at times be overwhelming and I simply forget, finding myself worrying about the growing inbox I need to respond to, the to-do list that never gets any smaller. Jonathan Z. Smith describes a sacred space as being like a ‘focussing lens’. The nice thing about a sacred space is that, once you’ve set it up in a way that feels right for you, it will support you for as long as it remains there and it will make your heart sing with joy, so you will be magnetically drawn to it every day.
Setting up Your Sacred Space
‘Some people look for a beautiful place, others make a place beautiful.’
Hazrat Inayat Khan (Sufi Master)
FINDING THE SPACE
To make a sacred space, you first need to decide on one place in your home where you can regularly spend time without too much distraction. You might want to consider finding a place that you will naturally see on a daily basis. Even if you just walk past it and get a glimpse of the beautiful reminders there, sometimes that’s all you need. But it does need to be out of the way enough, so that the objects you lay down won’t need to be moved.
To find the right spot for your sacred space, set aside some time to walk around your house and get a sense from both a practical level and a heartfelt level of where you feel the space needs to be. It helps to choose your sacred space if you can do this at a time when you feel relatively calm. Remember, a sacred space is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself, so, as you move through this