not?’ he asked.
‘Let’s just say it’s not what I would have chosen, but I don’t want her upset.’
‘Sure, Mum, I promise I won’t say a word.’
‘Good boy.’
Chapter Ten
True to his promise, Adrian didn’t say a word when at six fifteen I answered the front door and Beth stepped in. I heard him gasp in amazement and then, clamping his hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh, he ran upstairs to his room. Beth thankfully didn’t see, while Paula, standing beside me, stared at Beth open-mouthed.
‘You look like a lady,’ Paula said.
A lady of the night, I thought, for Beth’s lipstick had smudged and her mascara had run, creating black rings around her eyes.
‘Did you have a nice time?’ I asked Beth kindly as she began taking off her coat.
‘We played lots of games,’ she said. ‘There were some strange people there, but they were friendly. Daddy bought me two chocolate bars from the trolley that came round.’
I smiled. ‘Are you coming in?’ I asked Jessie, who was still standing in the porch. ‘I could make you a coffee.’
‘No, I must be getting home,’ Jessie said, although she didn’t immediately say goodbye or turn to leave.
‘Sure?’ I asked. ‘I could make it a quick coffee.’ I would also have liked some feedback on how the contact had gone.
‘No, thank you,’ Jessie said. She took a breath as though she was about to ask me something, but changed her mind.
‘Will Beth be visiting her father again soon?’ I asked. I thought that next time I would be better prepared in respect of her clothes and make-up.
‘Yes, I would think so, although it will depend on when Derek is discharged.’ Jessie hesitated again and then said: ‘I’ll telephone you when I have any details.’
‘And the evening went well?’ I asked.
‘They enjoyed themselves,’ she said.
Jessie threw me a quick smile, said goodbye and returned down the garden path. I closed the front door. I thought she seemed a bit preoccupied, but I didn’t give it any more thought. It was Friday – the end of the working week – and she was probably very tired.
Before I gave Beth her dinner I persuaded her to go to the bathroom and wash off her make-up. She did so, and without being asked also changed out of her dress and into her nightwear. She said she didn’t want to spoil her dress by dropping her dinner down it. Beth was very sensible when it came to such matters, more like a woman than a child. Once she’d finished eating, she asked me if it was time to phone her daddy. It was nearly seven o’clock, but I’d assumed that, having just seen her father, she wouldn’t telephone him again until the following evening.
‘Daddy wants me to phone,’ she added.
Jessie hadn’t said not to telephone, so at seven o’clock Beth, Paula and I went upstairs and into my bedroom where I dialled the hospital and then passed the telephone to Beth. Paula and I went into the bathroom where I bathed her as Beth talked to her father. Beth was still very excited from seeing him and chatted gaily about the games they’d played – snakes and ladders, draughts, cards and some games I wasn’t familiar with. I heard her tell him that she didn’t like the lady who’d kept making funny noises, but the men were friendly. I guessed that contact had taken place either on the ward or in a common room where other patients had been present. As with the previous evenings, when Beth had finished talking to her father she joined Paula for a bedtime story in her room. She was still in very good spirits. But later, when it was her bedtime, she grew sad.
‘I miss my daddy so much,’ she said, climbing into bed.
‘I know you do, love. But you can telephone him again tomorrow, and I’m sure he’ll be better before too long.’
‘I sat on his lap and gave him lots of cuddles,’ she said with a small wistful smile.
‘You both had a good time then,’ I said.
‘We did,’ Beth said. ‘Another man wanted me to sit on his lap, but Jessie said not to.’
‘Was Jessie with you and Daddy the whole time?’ I asked out of interest.
‘Yes, but she went to get a coffee. I wish I could stay with my daddy in hospital. His bed is big enough for two.’
I smiled. ‘I’m sure he’ll be well enough to go home soon,’ I reassured her again, and then I gave her a big hug. ‘You’re going to meet my parents on Sunday,’ I said, trying to divert her attention. ‘We’re going to visit them. They live in the country.’
Beth brightened up a little. ‘Is it a special occasion?’ she asked.
‘Yes, I suppose it is.’
‘I’ll wear my red dress then, with my lacy tights and high-heeled shoes.’
Oh dear, I thought. I walked right into that one. ‘You’ll need something a bit warmer and more practical,’ I said diplomatically. ‘We usually go to the park or for a walk in the woods when we visit. I’ll help you choose something to wear.’
‘OK,’ Beth said easily and snuggled down into the bed.
‘And Beth, love,’ I said, ‘I don’t want you wearing any make-up while you’re staying with me. I know your father doesn’t mind, but I don’t like it.’ I thought it best to deal with the matter now.
‘Why don’t you like it?’ Beth asked.
‘I don’t like make-up on children,’ I said. ‘I think children are beautiful enough already. They don’t need make-up.’
Beth considered this for a moment. ‘Will Paula wear make-up when she’s older?’
‘Not until she is much, much older – a teenager, and then only a little if she really wants to. Now, off to sleep, love,’ I said, adjusting the duvet. ‘You’ve had a busy day. You can have a lie-in tomorrow. It’s Saturday and there’s no school.’
Beth smiled. ‘Daddy and me have a lie-in at the weekends. We stay in bed and have big cuddles. Then he makes us breakfast and we have it in bed. Do you do that here?’
‘Not usually,’ I said, and serving the children breakfast in bed wasn’t something I wanted to start. ‘But when you go home I’m sure you’ll have breakfast in bed again.’
Beth nodded and, turning onto her side, slid the photograph of her father from beneath the pillow. She kissed it goodnight and then returned it to under her pillow. I tucked Mr Sleep Bear in beside her.
‘Sleep tight,’ I said, giving her a kiss.
‘I will.’ Beth smiled.
I came out, leaving Beth’s bedroom door slightly ajar, as she liked it. I checked on Adrian and Paula who, also tired at the end of the week, were sound asleep. I went downstairs, made myself a cup of tea and then sat in the living room. The house seemed very quiet – uncannily quiet for a Friday evening. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spent one alone. John was usually home by now and we always had plenty to talk about, especially if he’d been working away. Sometimes we opened a bottle of wine and enjoyed a glass each as we sat chatting and exchanging our news. Now it was just Toscha and me, and I suddenly felt very alone. As if sensing my feelings, Toscha jumped down from where she was curled on her favourite chair and onto my lap. I stroked her soft fur as she circled, before settling into a ball and purring gently.
I stroked her and sipped my tea and wondered what John