I left time for us to walk to school. The shrubbery we passed glistened white in the rising sun and the frosty spider webs hanging on the foliage were truly works of art.
In the playground it crossed my mind that perhaps I should go into school and see Miss Willow to update her – that Beth wasn’t seeing her father – as well as possibly learning something new from her. I now thought it was very likely that Jessie’s visit to the school had been in connection with Beth. However, I decided against going in. I thought I shouldn’t make a habit of popping in without a prior appointment, and if Miss Willow had something to tell me then she’d ask to see me, as she had done on Beth’s first day with me.
Once Adrian and Beth had gone into school, Paula and I returned home and I spent most of the morning listening out for the telephone, hoping it would be Jessie with good news, or at least news. The telephone rang only once and it was a friend of mine wanting to arrange to meet for coffee. If Jessie didn’t phone then I’d call her the following day. That afternoon I took Paula to the mother and toddler group we usually attended two afternoons a week, and I switched on the answerphone before I left the house. The group met in the local community centre and it gave mothers of young children the chance to meet and talk to each other over a cup of tea, and their toddlers the chance to play with similar-aged children. It was also good preparation for children, like Paula, who would be starting nursery in a few months. At the end of the afternoon I went straight from the group to school to collect Adrian and Beth.
The first thing Beth asked when she came out was: ‘Did you speak to my social worker? Can I telephone my daddy?’
‘She hasn’t phoned yet,’ I said. ‘But there’s still time.’
Beth’s face set in anger.
‘If Jessie doesn’t phone today, I’ll phone her tomorrow,’ I said. It had only been Friday when Jessie had telephoned, so I thought I should give her a day or so to make her enquiries and get back to me as she’d said she would.
Beth scowled at me and I ignored it. I could understand why she was angry. Thankfully she didn’t make a scene and recovered quickly.
There were no messages on the answerphone when we arrived home. ‘I’ll telephone Jessie tomorrow,’ I confirmed again to Beth. ‘But please don’t get your hopes up, love. We don’t know what Jessie will say.’ For I thought Beth was pinning too much on the phone call.
‘Jessie might say I can telephone my daddy,’ Beth said, undaunted.
‘Or she might say you can’t,’ I said, being truthful. ‘If she does say that, then I’ll try to find out the reasons why.’ Which I thought would help make any decision of Jessie’s easier for Beth to accept. I was wrong.
Chapter Fourteen
The following day I gave Jessie until two o’clock to telephone me and then I telephoned her. ‘It’s Cathy Glass,’ I said as she answered her extension. ‘Beth’s carer.’
‘Yes, I know who you are,’ she said. ‘How can I help you?’
The question threw me, as I’d assumed she’d realize what I wanted. ‘I was wondering if there was any news on Beth’s father,’ I said.
‘He’s still in hospital,’ Jessie replied.
‘Yes, I thought he must be. But do you know when Beth can start telephoning him again? She really misses him. And I haven’t been able to give her a reason why she can’t phone.’
‘Did you tell her my manager and I had made the decision?’
‘Yes. But it would be useful if I could tell her the reason for the decision.’
There was a short silence before Jessie said, ‘I was going to telephone you later. I need you to come in to a meeting, here at the council offices.’
‘Oh, I see,’ I said, taken aback.
‘I was thinking of Thursday at one o’clock,’ Jessie said.
‘How long will the meeting last?’ I asked, thinking ahead. ‘I’ll need to leave by two forty-five to collect Adrian and Beth from school.’ I’d also have to make arrangements to have Paula looked after, but that wasn’t Jessie’s worry, that was for me to sort out.
‘It’ll be about an hour, but best to have a contingency plan ready just in case.’
‘All right. Can you tell me what the meeting is about?’ I asked.
‘Beth,’ Jessie said.
Which I’d assumed. ‘Can you tell me when she can start phoning her father again? She knows I’m speaking to you today and is hoping you’ll be able to tell me.’
‘No. It’s something we’ll address at the meeting on Thursday.’
‘Oh, I see,’ I said. ‘Can I tell her why she’s not allowed to telephone her father?’
‘Is Beth asking?’
‘Yes.’
‘Tell her I’ll explain when I see her. I should be able to visit her some time next week. I’ll confirm a date and time when I see you on Thursday. Was there anything else?’
‘Err, no, I suppose not.’
‘I’ll see you on Thursday, then.’
I hadn’t learned anything new – apart from that I had to attend a meeting – and I was now even more confused (and worried), as I knew Beth would be. If there’s a problem, I’m a great believer in knowing what the issues are and dealing with them. It’s impossible to deal with what you don’t know. For me, ignorance is not bliss. It was Tuesday, and although the meeting on Thursday was only two days away, it stretched before me, an interminable distance to be got through before my questions could be answered and some of this would hopefully make sense.
When Beth came out of school that afternoon she ran up to me, her expression full of anticipation and hope. I didn’t wait for the question I knew would come.
‘I’ve spoken to Jessie,’ I said straight away. Beth’s eyes lit up. ‘We’re going to have to be patient. Jessie said to tell you she’d visit us next week and explain what is happening. In the meantime, we still can’t telephone the hospital, I’m afraid. Sorry, love.’
Tears immediately sprang to Beth’s eyes. ‘Why can’t I telephone my daddy?’ she said, utterly deflated.
I touched her shoulder reassuringly. ‘I honestly don’t know, love. I asked Jessie, but she said she wanted to tell you when she saw you next week. I’ve got to go to a meeting on Thursday, so I may learn more then.’
‘Can I go to the meeting?’ Beth asked, wiping the back of her hand across her eyes.
‘No, love. It’s for adults only.’
‘Will my daddy be there?’
Good question, I thought. Jessie hadn’t said who would be attending, but I felt sure she would have told me if Derek was going to be present. ‘No, I don’t think so,’ I said.
‘If he is there will you tell him I love him very much and I miss him with all my heart.’
‘Of course, love,’ I said. I swallowed the lump that had risen in my throat.
That evening I telephoned my friend Kay. She was happy to look after Paula while I went to the meeting on Thursday, and also to meet Adrian and Beth if I wasn’t in the playground at the end of school. Later, when Paula was in bed and Adrian was busy at the table putting the finishing touches to a model aeroplane he was making, Beth asked me if I would play snap with her. She produced a pack of cards from the cupboard where we kept our games and puzzles and we squatted on the floor of the living room. Beth began