IT’S NORMAL for the fontanelles to appear slightly indented, and you may notice a pulse beating through the skin. You may worry that they are very fragile, but they are covered by toughened membranes. If they do become very sunken or raised, this is a useful warning sign that your baby is unwell, possibly dehydrated and needs medical attention.
All babies, while in the womb, are covered with a fine fuzz of hair called lanugo. Sometimes there will still be a little of this lanugo left when the baby is born – but it will soon rub off.
Some babies may be born with coarse hair, often across the shoulder blades or down the spine, which can alarm parents. Most of this will fall out – it just rubs off.
In fact, the hair your baby is born with on his head may well not last – if you look at new babies a couple of weeks old, you will notice that they have a little bald patch on the back of their heads where the hair has been rubbed away by the mattress. All the hair is gradually replaced, and the colour it will finally be cannot be judged from the colour he started out with – many babies change from fair to dark, and some vice-versa.
A blister on the baby’s upper lip concerns some parents, but it is only a ‘sucking blister’, an indication of your baby’s enthusiasm for feeding. The blister may disappear between feeds, it may not. Babies seem entirely oblivious to the blisters and they soon fade as feeding frequency decreases.
If there’s anything that worries you, ask your midwife or health visitor. They will be visiting you regularly to check things like this. If your baby has a condition which needs further treatment, you will be given further information and often the names and contact numbers of support groups. If in doubt, ask.
VITAMIN K has been much in the news the last few years as health authorities and trusts have been rethinking their policies on this issue.
A few years ago, almost every newborn baby in this country was automatically given an injection of vitamin K just after birth with the aim of preventing haemorrhagic disease – a rare but dangerous condition in which the baby’s blood fails to clot in the event of any bleeding. Vitamin K prevents this disease developing and thus the injection programme gained widespread acceptance. No one knows why babies are born with low levels of vitamin K compared to adults, but it may be a safety measure in the womb when cells are dividing very quickly.
Then a study was published which showed a possible link between vitamin K injections and childhood cancer. Although the link was never proven, many health authorities decided to err on the side of caution and replace the routine injection with an oral dose of vitamin K, which was not linked with any problems.
You will find that your baby will be offered a preventive dose of vitamin K shortly after she is born. It is up to you and your partner to decide, well beforehand, whether and how you want her to have this. The disease it prevents is rare, but possibly fatal, and it isn’t possible to predict which babies will develop the disease. Babies who develop bleeding are usually found to have an underlying liver problem. If you want more information before making your decision, discuss it with your midwife.
THERE ARE many new skills to learn, but all new parents experience this daunting realisation: just how much they have to learn. Rose, like many new mothers, had to start from the beginning: ‘“Have you fed and changed him?” the nurse said to me at six o’clock in the morning, when I’d only had him at ten the night before. And I thought, “What? Me? No.” So I went and looked for the stuff I’d need and I didn’t know where it was, and everyone had just left me. Then this other nurse came round and I was in tears. She said, “Are you alright, love?” I said, “No, I don’t know what I’m doing!” So she showed me. She was really nice. She had two little boys of her own and showed me which bits to wipe and which bits to use where…you know, all that stuff they give you in hospital, all those gauze things…you don’t know which end to use what on. The gauze was for wiping his bottom, apparently and I’d been trying to wash his face with it.’
BEING IN hospital can make things very public, as Hilary found: ‘It was awful, that first time. I felt like I was on show, like everyone was watching me. I’m sure they weren’t, they were all too busy with their own nappies, but it was a very testing time. And I felt like Lucy was made out of china. I didn’t want to fasten the nappy too tight, so it fell off, and then I did it too loose and it leaked. Mind you, you get used to it very quickly.’
Sometimes no knowledge can be a good thing, says Chloë: ‘Nobody ever came along and told us what we had to do or should be doing, because once he was born, they just left us on our own for the rest of the day and then we came home that same evening, so nobody was there to guide us. So that evening we thought we’d better change him and it was … I found it very exciting. It was very frightening, too, that first time, because he had meconium and I was worried in case he was suffering, and I kept thinking, “Is this normal?” But the most important thing was the excitement. I felt very excited to have him home and very happy. I wanted it like that.’
John reckons it’s often the simple tasks that worry you most, in the beginning: ‘There were obvious things I didn’t know. Like, I didn’t know what the cream was for. I didn’t realise it was a barrier cream. It’s obvious now but I didn’t realise then, so I put as little of it as possible on and he got very bad nappy rash. So I could have done with a bit more guidance in those early days.’
ONE THING that will determine how tough or how easy you find the transition to parenthood is your baby’s temperament. Some are easier than others. Some babies actually seem to like being babies, and thus help make their babyhood a more enjoyable experience for all concerned, too; other babies seem to actively dislike being a baby. There are sighs of relief all round when they sit up, or walk, or turn into a toddler, whichever great achievement they seem to have been pining for.
Wakeful
IF YOU HAVE a baby who seems to need very little sleep – lucky you! You have an intelligent, smart child with great potential who will obviously do very well in life. At least that’s what everyone will tell you. And, if it’s any consolation, they’re probably right. Some babies are born wanting more – more of everything: more colour, more shapes, more talk, more walks in the park, more discussions over whether he’d like his bath now or later, or after the news.
If the wakefulness just lasts during the day, it’s going to mean hard work for you, but parents often find that this sort of baby, hungry for stimulation, is quite happy to be passed from friend to friend and all around the grandparents. Invite round old friends, distant relatives – anyone who’ll dandle the baby on their knee while you get on with calm and relaxing tasks like cooking dinner for 35.
Never underestimate how exhausting a wakeful baby can be. No matter how much you love someone, and no matter how much you love being in their company, it is very wearing to be 100% responsible for all their entertainment, as well as their meals, hygiene and bodily functions.
This is where partners need to be very supportive of each other. Whoever comes home from a hard day at work needs to remember that the person who’s spent all day with the baby is in far more need of a break. They should try not to show too much surprise if greeted at the door by a partner holding the baby at arm’s length.
If your baby’s wakefulness lasts late into the night as well – you have my sympathy. This is an exhausting