Антон Чехов

The Greatest Russian Short Stories & Plays


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for you to be delivering my funeral oration?

      LIPA

      Aren't you frightened yet?

      SAVVA

      Why should I be frightened? At your tricks and jugglery? I am used to the lies and frauds, Lipa. You can't frighten me with them. I still have a lot of stupid confidence left. It will help. It will come in handy the next time.

      LIPA

      Savva!

      FRIAR (bringing the jug of water)

      I had the hardest time getting it from her. She was like flint. She said she needed it herself. She was a hard case.

      SAVVA

      Thank you, boy. (Drinks with avidity) Fine! (Drinks the last drop) That was fine water. Take it back and tell the woman her water was fine and that there is none like it in all the world.

      FRIAR (merrily)

      All right, I'll tell her. (Goes off)

      LIPA (in a whisper)

      You are the enemy of the human race.

      SAVVA (smacking his lips)

      Very well, very well. Just wait. We'll hear what Kondraty has to say.

       The blackguard! I'll give it to him!

      LIPA (with emphasis, but still in a whisper as before)

      You are the enemy of the human race! You are the enemy of the human race!

      SAVVA

      Louder! No one hears you. It's a spicy bit of information.

      LIPA

      Go away from here.

       [The Friar returns.

      SAVVA (looking into the distance with narrowed eyes)

      It's nice out there, isn't it, Vassya? Whose woods are they?

       Vazykin's? Have I ever been there with you?

      FRIAR (gleefully)

      Yes, they're Vazykin's. I was there yesterday, Mr. Savva. I caught a whole handful of fireflies, but as I ran—(He grows sorrowful at the memory) My, how they are shouting! What are they up to anyway? Did you say they killed three, Mr. Tropinin? Was that what you said?

      SAVVA (coolly)

      Yes, three.

      FRIAR

      What are they pushing and jostling for anyhow? He'll be carried in the procession and they can all see Him.

      SAVVA

      When will they carry Him?

      FRIAR (looking up)

      It won't be long now.

      LIPA

      They'll sing "Christ is Arisen" to-day.

      SAVVA (smiling)

      Is that so? Didn't I arrange a feast-day for them though?

       [Tony and Speransky appear.

      FRIAR

      Are these fellows here too? For goodness' sake, what do they want? What are they looking for? I don't like it. Mr. Tropinin, come; let's go away from here.

      SAVVA

      Why?

      FRIAR

      They are coming this way, Speransky—

      SAVVA

      Aha! The "Tramp of Death" is approaching.

       [Lipa looks at him in astonishment. The Friar presses his hand to his bosom in a state of agitation.

      FRIAR (plaintively)

      What are you saying? Oh, God! Why did you say that? You mustn't do it.

       This is no tramp of death, nothing of the kind.

      SAVVA

      It's a kind of story he has written—Good morning, good morning. What can I do for you?

      SPERANSKY

      Mr. Anthony Tropinin is looking for you, Mr. Savva.

      SAVVA

      What do you want?

      TONY (very sadly, hiding a little behind Speransky)

      Nothing.

      FRIAR (listening attentively and then speaking with passion) What are you running around for then, and whom are you hunting? If you want nothing, do nothing. But you are running around and hunting, hunting. It isn't nice, I tell you!

      TONY (after a passing glance at the Friar he fixes his gaze on Savva) Savva.

      SAVVA (irritated)

      What do you want?

       [Tony makes no answer, but hides behind Speransky, looking over his shoulder. In the course of what follows he keeps steadily looking at Savva. His lips and eyebrows twitch, and at times he presses both his hands hard against his mouth.

      SPERANSKY

      The crowd is in a state of great agitation, Miss Olympiada. They broke the old gate opening on the other side of the woods and rushed in. The Father Superior came out and asked them to behave. They shout so you can't hear anything at all. Many are rolling on the ground in convulsions. I suppose they are sick. It's very strange, quite unusual in fact.

      LIPA

      Will they carry Him out soon? I must go. (Rises)

      SPERANSKY

      They say it'll be soon now. One wagon with cripples in it was upset—cripples without hands or feet. They are lying on the ground crying. It's all so strange.

      FRIAR

      What? Did you see it yourself?

       [Kondraty appears on the road coming from the monastery. He is walking in the company of two pilgrims, who are listening attentively to him. Catching sight of Savva, Kondraty says something to his companions, who remain standing where they are while he goes up to Savva.

      SAVVA

      Aha!

      KONDRATY (clean, spruce, beaming)

      Good morning, Miss Olympiada. Good morning to you too, Mr. Savva

       Tropinin.

      SAVVA

      Good morning, good morning. You have come after all? You were not afraid?

      KONDRATY (calmly)

      Why should I be afraid? You won't kill me, I suppose, and if you should, it would be sweet to die at your hands.

      SAVVA

      What bravery! And how clean you are! You are positively painful to look at. You didn't make quite so smart an appearance when you lay wallowing in the puddle. You were a little the worse for the mud, and so on.

      KONDRATY (shrugging his shoulders and speaking with dignity) It's no use recalling that incident now. It's quite out of place. Mr. Tropinin, it's time for you to have done with your spite and malice, high time.

      SAVVA

      Well?

      KONDRATY

      That's all. There is no "well" about it. You have had your shot. Be satisfied.

      SAVVA

      Are congratulations upon the miracle in order?

      KONDRATY

      Yes, Mr. Tropinin, upon the miracle—the miracle, indeed. (He weeps with a bland air, wiping his face with his handkerchief)