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The Complete Works of William Shakespeare


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blank verse.

       ROSALIND

       Farewell, monsieur traveller: look you lisp and wear strange suits; disable all the benefits of your own country; be out of love with your nativity, and almost chide God for making you that countenance you are; or I will scarce think you have swam in a gondola.

       [Exit JAQUES.]

       Why, how now, Orlando! where have you been all this while? You a lover!—An you serve me such another trick, never come in my sight more.

       ORLANDO

       My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise.

       ROSALIND

       Break an hour’s promise in love! He that will divide a minute into a thousand parts, and break but a part of the thousand part of a minute in the affairs of love, it may be said of him that Cupid hath clapped him o’ the shoulder, but I’ll warrant him heart-whole.

       ORLANDO

       Pardon me, dear Rosalind.

       ROSALIND

       Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my sight: I had as lief be wooed of a snail.

       ORLANDO

       Of a snail!

       ROSALIND

       Ay, of a snail; for though he comes slowly, he carries his house on his head; a better jointure, I think, than you make a woman: besides, he brings his destiny with him.

       ORLANDO

       What’s that?

       ROSALIND

       Why, horns; which such as you are fain to be beholding to your wives for: but he comes armed in his fortune, and prevents the slander of his wife.

       ORLANDO

       Virtue is no horn-maker; and my Rosalind is virtuous.

       ROSALIND

       And I am your Rosalind.

       CELIA

       It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a Rosalind of a better leer than you.

       ROSALIND

       Come, woo me, woo me; for now I am in a holiday humour, and like enough to consent.—What would you say to me now, an I were your very very Rosalind?

       ORLANDO

       I would kiss before I spoke.

       ROSALIND

       Nay, you were better speak first; and when you were gravelled for lack of matter, you might take occasion to kiss. Very good orators, when they are out, they will spit; and for lovers lacking,—God warn us!—matter, the cleanliest shift is to kiss.

       ORLANDO

       How if the kiss be denied?

       ROSALIND

       Then she puts you to entreaty, and there begins new matter.

       ORLANDO

       Who could be out, being before his beloved mistress?

       ROSALIND

       Marry, that should you, if I were your mistress; or I should think my honesty ranker than my wit.

       ORLANDO

       What, of my suit?

       ROSALIND

       Not out of your apparel, and yet out of your suit. Am not I your Rosalind?

       ORLANDO

       I take some joy to say you are, because I would be talking of her.

       ROSALIND

       Well, in her person, I say I will not have you.

       ORLANDO

       Then, in mine own person, I die.

       ROSALIND

       No, faith, die by attorney. The poor world is almost six thousand years old, and in all this time there was not any man died in his own person, videlicet, in a love-cause. Troilus had his brains dashed out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he could to die before; and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he would have lived many a fair year, though Hero had turned nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night; for, good youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont, and, being taken with the cramp, was drowned; and the foolish chroniclers of that age found it was—Hero of Sestos. But these are all lies; men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.

       ORLANDO

       I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind; for, I protest, her frown might kill me.

       ROSALIND

       By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come, now I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on disposition; and ask me what you will, I will grant it.

       ORLANDO

       Then love me, Rosalind.

       ROSALIND

       Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays, and all.

       ORLANDO

       And wilt thou have me?

       ROSALIND

       Ay, and twenty such.

       ORLANDO

       What sayest thou?

       ROSALIND

       Are you not good?

       ORLANDO

       I hope so.

       ROSALIND

       Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing?—Come, sister, you shall be the priest, and marry us.—Give me your hand, Orlando:—What do you say, sister?

       ORLANDO

       Pray thee, marry us.

       CELIA

       I cannot say the words.

       ROSALIND

       You must begin,—“Will you, Orlando”—

       CELIA

       Go to:—Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind?

       ORLANDO

       I will.

       ROSALIND

       Ay, but when?

       ORLANDO

       Why, now; as fast as she can marry us.

       ROSALIND

       Then you must say,—“I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.”

       ORLANDO

       I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.

       ROSALIND

       I might ask you for your commission; but,—I do take thee, Orlando, for my husband:—there’s a girl goes before the priest; and, certainly, a woman’s thought runs before her actions.

       ORLANDO

       So do all thoughts; they are winged.

       ROSALIND

       Now tell me how long you would have her, after you have possessed her.

       ORLANDO

       For ever and a day.

       ROSALIND

       Say “a day,” without the “ever.” No, no, Orlando: men are April when they woo, December when they wed: maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen; more clamorous than a parrot against rain; more newfangled than an ape; more giddy in my desires than a monkey: I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain, and I will do that when you are disposed to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and that when thou are inclined to sleep.

       ORLANDO

       But will my Rosalind do so?

       ROSALIND

       By my life, she will do as I do.