Arthur Sullivan

The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan


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CHORUS. Oh, his rule will be merry, etc.

       (During this, LUDWIG whispers to NOTARY, who writes.)

       For instance, this measure (his ancestor drew it),

       (alluding to NOTARY)

       This law against duels—to-morrow will die—

       The Duke will revive, and you'll certainly rue it—

       He'll give you "what for" and he'll let you know why!

       But in twenty-four hours there's time to renew it—

       With a century's life I've the right to imbue it—

       It's easy to do—and, by Jingo, I'll do it!

       (Signing paper, which NOTARY presents.)

       It's done! Till I perish your Monarch am I!

       Your Monarch am I—your Monarch am I—your Monarch am I!

       Though I do not pretend to be very prophetic,

       I fancy I know what you're going to say—

       By a pushing young Monarch, of turn energetic,

       A very great deal may be done in a day!

       ALL (astonished).

       Oh, it's simply uncanny, his power prophetic—

       It's perfectly right—we were going to say,

       By a pushing, etc.

       Enter JULIA, at back.

       LUD. (recit.). This very afternoon—at two (about)—

       The Court appointments will be given out.

       To each and all (for that was the condition)

       According to professional position!

       ALL. Hurrah!

       JULIA (coming forward). According to professional position?

       LUD. According to professional position!

       JULIA Then, horror!

       ALL. Why, what's the matter? What's the matter? What's the

       matter?

       SONG—JULIA. (LISA clinging to her.)

       Ah, pity me, my comrades true,

       Who love, as well I know you do,

       This gentle child,

       To me so fondly dear!

       ALL. Why, what's the matter?

       JULIA Our sister love so true and deep

       From many an eye unused to weep

       Hath oft beguiled

       The coy reluctant tear!

       ALL. Why, what's the matter?

       JULIA Each sympathetic heart 'twill bruise

       When you have heard the frightful news

       (O will it not?)

       That I must now impart!

       ALL. Why, what's the matter?

       JULIA. Her love for him is all in all!

       Ah, cursed fate! that it should fall

       Unto my lot

       To break my darling's heart!

       ALL. Why, what's the matter?

       LUD. What means our Julia by those fateful looks?

       Please do not keep us all on tenter-hooks-

       Now, what's the matter?

       JULIA. Our duty, if we're wise,

       We never shun.

       This Spartan rule applies

       To every one.

       In theatres, as in life,

       Each has her line—

       This part—the Grand Duke's wife

       (Oh agony!) is mine!

       A maxim new I do not start—

       The canons of dramatic art

       Decree that this repulsive part

       (The Grand Duke's wife)

       Is mine!

       ALL. Oh, that's the matter!

       LISA (appalled, to LUDWIG). Can that be so?

       LUD. I do not know—

       But time will show

       If that be so.

       CHORUS. Can that be so? etc.

       LISA (recit.). Be merciful!

       DUET—LISA and JULIA.

       LISA. Oh, listen to me, dear—

       I love him only, darling!

       Remember, oh, my pet,

       On him my heart is set

       This kindness do me, dear-

       Nor leave me lonely, darling!

       Be merciful, my pet,

       Our love do not forget!

       JULIA. Now don't be foolish, dear—

       You couldn't play it, darling!

       It's "leading business", pet

       And you're but a soubrette.

       So don't be mulish, dear-

       Although I say it, darling,

       It's not your line, my pet—

       I play that part, you bet!

       I play that part—

       I play that part, you bet!

       (LISA overwhelmed with grief.)

       NOT. The lady's right. Though Julia's engagement

       Was for the stage meant—

       It certainly frees Ludwig from his

       Connubial promise.

       Though marriage contracts—or whate'er you call 'em—

       Are very solemn,

       Dramatic contracts (which you all adore so)

       Are even more so!

       ALL. That's very true!

       Though marriage contracts, etc.

       SONG—LISA.

       The die is cast,

       My hope has perished!

       Farewell, O Past,

       Too bright to last,

       Yet fondly cherished!

       My light has fled,

       My hope is dead,

       Its doom is spoken—

       My day is night,

       My wrong is right

       In all men's sight—

       My heart is broken!

       [Exit

       weeping.

       LUD. (recit.). Poor child, where will she go? What will she

       do?

       JULIA. That isn't in your part, you know.

       LUD. (sighing). Quite true!

       (With an effort.) Depressing topics we'll not touch upon—

       Let us begin as we are going on!

       For this will be a jolly Court, for little and for big!

       ALL. Sing hey, the jolly jinks of Pfennig Halbpfennig!

       LUD. From morn to night our lives shall be as merry as a grig!

       ALL. Sing hey, the jolly jinks of Pfennig Halbpfennig!