said: “This book is about how we all have a state of perfect Health and wisdom inside us that can only be covered up by our own thinking, and how our thinking creates the ‘reality’ we see, out of which we then think, feel and act.” Actually, that sounds about right, if you believe the ancient wisdom expressed in Proverbs: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Or if you believe Shakespeare might have known a thing or two about human nature: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so…”(Hamlet). Maybe it really is just that simple. Yet there is no limit to the depth and power of it. Read this book. Soak it in. Then decide for yourself.
Paul Thomlinson
Burrell Behavioral Health
Springfield, MO
August 2005
Author’s Note ~ Preface to the Third Edition
It has now been six years since I first wrote Somebody Should Have Told Us!. I could not be more gratified by the number of people who have told me their lives have changed as a result of insights gained from reading this book. The way they see life and therefore live life has changed, and their lives are far better for it. They feel better, they act wiser and better things seem to come to them as a result. I am quite humbled by this.
While this warms my heart it is equally true that in the last six years my own understanding has continued to grow. Ironically, my own life has even changed—for the better. I see it all so much more simply, clearly and deeply now than I did when I first wrote this book. This caused a conundrum: Since I knew I had to change to a third publisher I wanted to be sure the book reflected my deeper understanding; yet because the book worked so well as written, judging by the feedback I’d received, I was reluctant to make too many changes. Still, I felt I needed to improve the clarity and accuracy of a few items. So rather than rewrite the book I decided to strike a balance by republishing this book as an only slightly-updated third edition, and in the not-too-distant future write Part II.
As you read this I wish you all the peace of mind, well-being, love, high quality relationships and effectiveness in your lives that you wish for yourselves and deserve.
It is there for the taking.
Jack Pransky
Moretown, VT
January, 2011
Thirteen years ago, in the midst of what I would call a spiritual search—meaning, I read a lot of spiritual books, listened to a lot of tapes, met with spiritual groups, practiced some meditation—suddenly without warning and outside of anything I was examining, my search screeched to a halt. I didn’t mean for it to; I didn’t even particularly want it to. It happened automatically and effortlessly. I had found what I was searching for.
How did this happen? I only know through my work to prevent problem behaviors I bumped into a new, largely unknown paradigm that turned everything I knew inside-out. At first I couldn’t grasp it, but I knew it was important. I heard something deep within my soul that connected with my own wisdom. Consequently I began to live more in well-being. I experienced less stress. My relationships improved. I gained great appreciation for my new understanding.
To my surprise I then discovered I could help others find for themselves what I had found. They too began to experience more wellbeing and their problems dropped away. I was onto something that worked more powerfully than anything I had encountered. It became my life’s work. It has helped many people gain a sense of mental and spiritual health, balance and peace of mind.
I take no credit for this. All I do is help people connect with their own innate Health and wisdom. Most people, it seems, are not guided by their wisdom.
I never thought I would write a self-help book. It happened serendipitously. While on a publicity push for my book, Parenting from the Heart, my publicist required me to take media lessons. My tendency when talking with others was to start slowly until I got revved up enough to make my points with a certain power behind them. When talking with the media I didn’t have that luxury; by the time I got revved my few minutes were over. So “sound-bite school,”as I called it, seemed like a good idea. It helped me hone my important parenting points and put them up front. To find the points I wanted to make I took a walk in the woods to clear my head and allow them to bubble up from within. Interesting thoughts kept arising, but these points seemed important for everyone to know, not just parents; yet I knew almost no one who wasn’t a parent (or about to be) would read a parenting book. The thought then popped in, “You need to write a self-help book.”
This surprised me. What could I offer that hadn’t already been written? Immediately I knew what would set this apart from nearly all other self-help books on bookstore shelves. Most all self-help books tell people what to do to improve their lives. Often people read them, find it difficult to put into practice what the books suggest (because their own habits work against them), and nothing changes. Then they read another self-help book in hopes the next one will help.
Instead, what if people were pointed inside themselves to the source of their own answers? What if they were helped to see the “mechanism” at work behind how they function psychologically and spiritually? What if they were helped to see the principles behind what creates their very experience of life? Pointed in this direction they would have the key to unlock their wisdom to guide them through any difficulty. They could take it with them wherever they go—always— because it is already part of them. They only need to see it! Once they saw it they would no longer need any self-help books—including this one. I have seen dramatic changes in people’s lives result from helping people see life from the inside-out. My intent is simply to be of service to as many people as I can. A book potentially can reach a far greater number than those with whom I can work personally or in training groups.
I truly believe for people to realize how they can use the spiritual, creative gifts they have been given to their benefit instead of to their detriment is the hope for humankind. When wisdom speaks, humanity benefits.
I am merely a ripple in a pond.
A few notes about this book, and how to get the most from it:
Unlike listening to Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura or Dr. Joy Brown, this book contains no advice. It offers no skills, nor any techniques. Initially to some this may be disconcerting, but advice, skills and techniques all reside in the outside world. This book contains something far more valuable. True change happens only from within, from one’s own insight. It is far more comforting to realize there really is nothing to do because we already have everything we are looking for inside us, and it is always available to us no matter what difficult life situations we encounter—if we know how to access it. I don’t want anyone looking to me, when the answers are within them. This book points people in the direction of true self help.
The only advice I do offer is how to get the most from this book: It would be wise to approach it with an open mind, to clear the mind, to set aside everything you know (at least temporarily), including comparing this to other things. Comparisons and judgments only block new understanding, and new understanding is the whole idea. If you want to truly incorporate into your life what this book offers I suggest reading it again and again until it sounds like old news. Then you will know this understanding has become part of you, the eyes through which you see. You will know you understand when you see the results for yourself.
This book is written the way it is for a reason. It contains a lot of stories and narrative. First, this is because no words can accurately or adequately describe the