wonder you call yourself Shonky, it’s way less dodgy than Hamilton Roderick,” Mila said.
“Wait!” Kylie said then burst out laughing. With her knees giving way as she unsuccessfully tried to contain her laughter and after shrieking and gasping for breath, she continued, “Do you know what your nickname could be from your two given names?” Still giggling, she clapped her hands with glee.
Everyone stopped talking at the sight of Kylie cackling. They couldn’t wait to hear what she had just come up with.
“No Kylie, what could my nickname be from Hamilton Roderick?” Shonky asked calmly.
“Pfft, well if you take,” she could not keep a straight face and kept having to stop herself from another thunder bolt of hooting laughter, “If you take, the first three letters of each name... ha ha ha ha, you get.......pfft, he he he”, and all she could do was clap and whisper, “Ham Rod.”
“You get Ham Rod” she tried to say again, with tears running down her face.
“What did she say?” one of the guys asked the boss.
“Ham Rod,” her boss answered loudly.
The entire room erupted into belly deep laughter, Ham Rod was the way haemorrhoid sounded when someone with a German accent said the word in English.
“No wonder you always seem to be brown nosing to the Boss Shonky! You’re a HamRod!” one of the guys said.
“Oh that’s bloody lovely isn’t it? What does the name Kylie mean?” Shonky retaliated.
“Boomerang baby, so you won’t be getting rid of me EVER, I’ll always come back around to call you by the first three letters of your Christian and Middle names!”
“Really, does you name mean boomerang? Really?” Mila asked.
“Yep. Kylie is Aboriginal for boomerang. I guess if you used the name literally and picked me up and threw me and I didn’t come back, then maybe my name would mean Stick!”
Mila laughed at Kylie’s interpretation of an old boomerang joke.
Eventually, the room quietened down and the table thumping stopped.
“Righto, the jug’s boiled, can we get the lady a drink?” Shonky said.
“It’s already happening.” Kylie made Mila a cup of coffee frothing up the milk with her battery operated whizzer and added a Milo smiley face on the top. “Here you go Mila.”
When Mila saw the smiley face, she smiled at it and then at Kylie. “Thank you.”
“Hamrod! I mean, Shonky can you get the Tupperware dish out of the fridge please?” Kylie requested.
“Sure, Shonky would love to help out. Shonky’s very helpful,” he said in the third person. “Tadaahhhhhh!” he said opening up the lid for Mila to see it.
“Oh Wow! Did you make them for me Shonky?” Mila asked impressed.
“Nope, Kylie did and she HATES cooking!” he replied.
“Oh thank you, they look awesome!” Mila said to Kylie.
“Do you mind if I get a photo of you with them? So we can keep it as a souvenir of your first time at the Port.”
“Oh this day will be etched in my mind for EVER, but sure let’s get a photo to go with the story,” Mila obliged. Kylie grabbed the camera from on top of the microwave and took a photo straight away and then asked Mila to hand out the cupcakes.
“Can I get a photo with you please?” Kylie asked.
“Sure,” Mila said, so Kylie handed the camera over to the boss.
“So how are you liking the office up there? It’s quieter than here hey!” Kylie said.
“Oh yeah, that’s for sure!” Mila said giggling as she handed out the cupcakes to the crew.
“So, what have you learnt since starting the new role?” Shonky asked.
“Well,” Mila started, and tilted her head to the side as she thought about his question. Then her eyes widened and she started to laugh. “I have learnt that what I thought was mirrored glass on the outside of the town office building, and where just prior to walking in for my job interview a few months back I took the opportunity to adjust myself and do one last check on my overall look, lipstick, legs and ladies (meaning her breasts), and adjusted all to suit, was in fact NOT mirrored glass but one-way glass. And I learnt that my future boss was on the inside of the room, watching ‘my show’ and waiting for me to come in and be interviewed. Yeah. That’s what I learnt yesterday, on my first day, at work.”
“What he told you he was perving on you? Boss! Really?” Kylie asked.
“No, I didn’t tell her I was perving on her,” the boss replied as he turned beetroot red.
“No, on my introductory tour of the building, I went in to the conference room and I could see straight through to the laneway, where I knew I had been standing. During the interview I had sat with my back to the wall so I hadn’t noticed at the time. So I hit him up about it and he just caved, didn’t you?” Mila said giving the boss’s arm a light punch.
“Yep, I told her that it didn’t lessen her chances of obtaining employment,” the boss stated.
“How come you didn’t ask me to help you interview Mila, Boss?” Shonky asked.
“Because although it was unprofessional of me not to look away from the window dressing, I thought it would be far more inappropriate to introduce a lovely young lady to a man named HamRod,” he said and so ensured the continued hijinks and laughter in the room.
The boss and Mila stayed for an hour and every person in the room was at some stage in fits of laughter. Before they departed for the Town Office, Kylie set up the camera to take a timed photo of the whole team. The girls stood at either end of the six males and no one had to yell out Cheese, Mila or Coon because the natural high they had in the smoko room translated into the best photo they had ever taken.
“So Mila, that was the Port! What did you think?” the boss asked as they drove back to the Town office.
“Wow, what a funny bunch of people,” she said. “They sound like they have a lot of fun at work.”
“Yes, yes they do. They are a mixed bag of nuts but they gel really well together and despite the carry on, they work really hard and are probably the best team I’ve ever worked with.”
“Wow, that’s quite a wrap!”
“Did you like the cupcakes?” he asked.
“Yeah they were beautiful and so yummy!”
“Kylie really, really, really hates cooking. You’re lucky she didn’t bring in a cheesecake!”
“Oh I heard about the liquid cheesecake. I am lucky. Even what she wore, she looked so different from yesterday. She went to a lot of effort.”
“I told you she would.”
“Yeah.” Mila’s voice faded and she smiled out the car window. She hadn’t experienced anything like that before in her life. The atmosphere, the honesty, the laughter, everyone taking the piss out of each other in front of each other in good natured fun. She already knew she fitted in and that this was the right job for her. Now all she needed was to make some friends. She just wasn’t convinced that one of them was going to be Kylie.
Marley
Mila turned the key in the ignition. No response. She tried a second time. Again nothing. On her third attempt, Mila’s metallic blue Audi A3 began to cough, fart and