together. And if it does, I want him to understand what the symptoms look like and how he can help me. I just say, if I look a bit drunk or start to act a little strange, my sugar may be going low, so please get me a glass of juice. It doesn’t happen often, so don’t worry.”—Jennifer
Poor diabetes control can interfere with many pleasurable activities. If you aren’t confident in your diabetes care, speak with your health care team. If they aren’t receptive to your needs, seek additional help from a different provider. Don’t stop until you are comfortable that you have all of the tools to handle every situation and that you are achieving the best control possible for your diabetes. And also remember to wear medical identification at all times; a card in your wallet isn’t enough. It is too easy for you and your wallet or purse to become separated. Low blood sugar symptoms may cause people to believe that you are drunk and need to “sleep it off.” If you have a real medical emergency, you want all around you to know that you require medical assistance.
YOU MAY LOSE INTEREST IN SEXUAL ACTIVITIES
Exhaustion Can Ruin a Romantic Evening
Kevin and Tina recently went on a weekend getaway where they expected to relax, use the spa, walk on the beach, and enjoy a generous amount of romance. Their plans changed a bit when the evening rolled around and Kevin chose to hop into bed without Tina. When she peeked into the room, he was sound asleep. “I had hoped that this time away would kindle his interest in sex, but it hasn’t made a difference. He has lost interest and I don’t know what to do about it.” Kevin has had type 2 diabetes for about five years.
Emotional issues
Many emotionally related issues can cause a drop in libido; however, a variety of factors can also affect your sexual interest, including:
In addition to those listed above, you can also lose interest because of issues that may develop when you have diabetes. How do you feel when your blood sugar is too high or too low? While battling hypoglycemic jitters or high glucose headaches, is it extremely difficult to be in the mood for love.
Financial pressures
Diabetes is expensive, especially if you don’t have adequate insurance to cover the test strips, medications, doctor’s visits, and other items that you need. Many couples find that diabetes brings significant financial pressures into their lives and into their bedrooms.
Loss of Job Leads to Relationship Problems
“I have type 1 and can’t stop the blood sugar roller-coaster ride that I am on. Either I take too little insulin and my blood sugar level soars or I take too much and it plummets. Because of this, I missed a lot of work, so my boss fired me from my position. The loss of my job was rough, but not as rough as the loss of my relationship with my wife. She used to have so much patience with me; I could always count on her. But when my work problems began and money got tight, she started to resent the fact that I had diabetes. Now when I try to hold her, she pulls away. I know that she is angry, but I don’t know how to fix things. We now sleep in separate rooms. I feel like I’ve been fired from my job and my marriage.”—John
If you feel overwhelmed by the cost of diabetes, speak with your health care team. They should be able to put you in contact with various assistance groups in your local area. A list of pharmaceutical companies with prescription assistance programs are located in the Appendix. Don’t let your emotional response to diabetes interfere with your relationships. Take steps to reduce the negative feelings that diabetes has brought into your life.
FOR YOU AND YOUR PARTNER
1 How has diabetes negatively affected how you feel about your sex life, work situation, and day-to-day living?
2 What steps would you like to try to help improve the situation?
In this chapter:
DIABETES CAN interfere with the intimate physical relationship that you have with your partner. Fortunately, there are many effective treatments available.
Many of the following physical changes that come with diabetes may be familiar to you. After all, you live with your diabetes every day and may have experienced many of them. Let’s consider how these symptoms can impact the relationship that you have with your partner.
UNEXPECTED WEIGHT GAIN
Insulin and certain oral medications can cause you to gain weight, which may change how attractive you feel and alter your desire to connect on a physical level with your mate. To help overcome these feelings, try the following:
Follow a healthy weight loss plan
Diabetes meal plans have changed dramatically over the past few years. When you were first diagnosed, you might have been told to avoid all sugar and sugar-containing products. Research has shown that sugar can safely be included in a diabetes meal plan in reasonable amounts. This means that many of the foods that you may have avoided in the past can now be enjoyed in measured portions. Newer, more effective meal planning methods such as carbohydrate counting have also helped individuals fine-tune their weight loss efforts, tame excessive hunger, and improve their diabetes control.
Insulin’s Positive and Negative Effects
“After about six years, my type 2 diabetes control became so bad that I had to finally give in and take insulin to help maintain my blood sugar level in a healthier range. The improvement was immediate and impressive. I felt so much better and my blood sugar numbers really started to improve. But then the weight gain began. I now feel so ugly. My clothes keep getting tighter and I hate how I look. To avoid having my husband see how much weight I’ve gained, I wear looser fitting outfits, change my clothes in private, and head to bed before or after he falls asleep.”—Rhonda
Here are two popular meal planning options that you might like to try—the Plate Method and carbohydrate counting:
The Plate Method
This meal planning program uses a typical 9-inch dinner plate as a measuring tool. Here is how you use it for your