When man was at peace with himself, he would not feel the need to conquer and control other people. I believed that when people tried to be controlling, it was because they were not in control of themselves.
“Many New Age writings talk about how we are all God. That can be interpreted in many ways,” I said.
“People certainly have different views about God,” said Michael. He stood beside me as both our bodies absorbed the glistening sun.
“I feel like I am a part of God, and if this is true, then I’m harming myself when I hurt another. If everyone is a part of God, then it’s like they are a part of me. Why would I want to hurt myself?” As I thought about this, an answer came to my mind. “Maybe this ties into the concept of self-love that everyone is talking about these days.”
“It sounds like you’re on to something,” said Michael with a knowing grin.
“Perhaps one day I will understand life.”
“We will all understand in time,” said Michael. “Hey, want to use my skateboard? This looks like a good spot for it.”
“Would you believe that I’ve never been on a skateboard in my whole life?”
“Really? Come on, let’s try it.” Michael grabbed his skateboard and whisked down the street with great agility. I was less than skillful when it came to my turn. “Why have you never been on one of these things?”
“My mom was always afraid I’d kill myself. She thought it was too dangerous.”
“I guess it would be if you had that much fear.” My list of new experiences was growing by the minute. I did not realize the importance of this until much later. Healing was not only placing myself in the presence of love. It was letting go of fear.
Later in the afternoon, Michael’s friend Colin took us for a drive into the mountains to see the sunset. The winding road to the top was very narrow and exhilarating. We reached the summit in time to see the charm of an orange sun as it set over the horizon.
“Wendy and I went to see Verna this morning,” said Michael. He leaned against me as we watched the extraordinary scene that was before us.
“Did you learn anything?” asked Colin.
“Yes, it was quite interesting,” said Michael.
“Mafu is being channeled by Penny at the Biltmore tonight. Would you like to go?” asked Colin.
“I’d love to go!” I exclaimed. Two channelings in one day was a thrilling thought. My curiosity wanted more proof that the spirits were real.
That evening we arrived at the Biltmore Hotel and found three empty seats near the back of the room. I sat between the security of Colin and Michael. Apprehension and skepticism came over me as Penny began the process of going into a trance.
Penny’s expressions and posture changed dramatically when Mafu was channeling through her. Mafu walked around the room and talked to people as he passed. Love for all mankind was his main message.
Mafu told a young woman that she would meet her soulmate. These words seemed to rush through my body like an electrical charge. A strange feeling came over me as I looked at Michael. I wanted to ask Michael what a soulmate was, but I bit my lip as the words came out and remained silent.
On Thursday, Michael and I drove along the scenic coast to Disneyland. We were both like five-year-old kids as we stood in line for the Star Wars ride. We walked up the ramp to the space dock where C3PO and R2D2 greeted us.
There was a sign warning people not to go on the ride who had heart conditions or who were pregnant. “Michael, I don’t know if I should go on this ride. It might elevate my blood pressure.”
“Would you rather wait in the van?” asked Michael sharply. He sounded annoyed and impatient. There were lessons that Michael obviously needed to learn too.
The jungle cruise was next on our agenda. “I’m experiencing lots of new things on this trip. Sushi, channeling and now Disneyland,” I said grinning.
“There’s our safari boat,” said Michael.
“Look at that boat. It’s called The Magdalena,” I said with astonishment. “Do you think that’s just a coincidence? Verna said that one of my guides went by that name.”
“Nothing happens by mere chance, Wendy. Maybe you’re being given more examples of this.” My day at Disneyland was filled with childlike adventure, but it was soon time to return to Santa Barbara.
By the time we arrived home, it was after midnight. Michael played the piano while I took a shower. His musical composition stirred strong feelings from within. I could feel each note that he was going to play next as if I was playing the music.
“That sounds wonderful,” I said as I came out of the bathroom in my black silk robe. I sat beside Michael and began to harmonize with what he was playing. We created a song that sounded magnificent.
“I can’t believe what we just did!” exclaimed Michael. Our second attempt was not as sensational, but we had created beautiful music together.
While Michael was in the shower, I made my attempt at composing music. I loved the feeling of the keys as my fingers rolled over them. Michael came out of the shower and began to gently run his fingers along my shoulders as I played. “Want to sit outside on the deck?” asked Michael.
It was a warm night. We sat in silence, listening to the sound of ocean waves. Michael looked like he was deep in contemplation. “Penny for your thoughts,” I whispered. Michael only smiled and took my hand.
My thoughts drifted into how little time was left of my stay in Santa Barbara, and how special my time with Michael had been. I looked at Michael sitting in a cozy wicker chair in front of me. I wanted to make love with him, but I was afraid to let him know.
Michael went inside the house and reappeared a few minutes later. “I’d like to give you a massage,” he said softly. I followed Michael to the bedroom to be greeted by a welcoming sight. The flames danced in the fireplace giving the room a warm glow. Candles flickered, casting our shadows upon the bed.
I slipped off my robe and Michael began to massage my back. My face was buried in a pillow as I attempted to ignore my passionate feelings. Michael completed the massage and we lay together in silence. I wondered if we both wanted to be lovers, but the circumstances were wrong. Michael already had a lover in his life.
Morning arrived with the promise of a new day. We packed the van and began our journey up the coast to where we would be meeting Tony in Lompoc. Tony’s persistence had worked its way under my skin and I had agreed to do the seminar in San Francisco.
There was something that I wanted to say to Michael before we reached Lompoc. My stomach tightened at the thought of communicating my true feelings. “Michael, there is something I want to express to you, but I’m afraid.”
“Just say it,” said Michael.
“I wish we could be lovers,” I said in a quiet voice.
Michael was silent for a moment. My heart was beating with anticipation as I wondered what his reaction would be. “I’ve thought about it too, but it’s not right at the present time. If it does happen one day, then it happens.”
Tony was impatiently waiting for us in Lompoc when we arrived. As we journeyed to San Francisco, thoughts filled my mind about the seminar. Sightseeing with Michael was what I really wanted to do. The seminar was less appealing.
The sparkling lights of San Francisco gave the city a welcoming glow. We checked into the motel where Michael and I would be staying. Tony would have the privilege of staying at a luxurious hotel that Michael and I could not afford. Money could certainly make life more comfortable, even if it could not buy happiness.
Saturday arrived with a feeling of apprehension. I stood in awe over the lavish hotel