has a real need or is a con artist. (For example, is the woman along the street with several infants, just “renting” them for the day, which is a common practice? But even when this is the case, there is obvious need, along with a strategy to elicit added sympathy.) Giving small sums to a beggar or person obviously afflicted with leprosy seems reasonable. But if there are many people lined up for a handout, the situation becomes difficult for the clueless newcomer. He or she needs to quickly learn the basic rules of how, when, and to whom to give. First, a Westerner may not realize that mendicants, or beggars, are not necessarily looked down on by society, and may not be in as severe need as they might seem. In some cultures begging is a craft that is often highly ritualized and well developed, intending to play on people’s sympathies, or even their sense of humor. Thus, people may have their beggar “clients,” just as they develop a patron-client relationship with a vender. They give exclusively to this one mendicant, thus proving themselves to be generous, but ignore the others. They are also careful not to give too much. It is expected that if many people give small amounts to the needy, together they can all help the poor. This stands in contrast to Western systems, where a person, operating individualistically, feels they need to give enough to make a difference on their own. One of the surprising “rules” is to not expect an expression of gratitude for a donation. Muslims believe that if a beggar expresses thanks, it deprives the giver of a reward in the hereafter, as he or she has then already received the reward.
The basic rules in any area are easy to learn so that they need not be a long-term problem. Local people are ready and able to provide advice in this as well as with other areas of understanding the culture. This whole issue is taken up in detail in chapter 3, “Friendship.” And as is described there, a key approach to the overall problem of generosity and giving is to find a respected local person to advise you. Advice should be sought for the different circumstances where generosity may be called for, whether dealing with street beggars, casual acquaintances, or friends of equivalent social standing. Local citizens often know certain beggars by name, and know their reputations. They are also careful to ferret out the family histories of people who ask for help, to determine whether there is a genuine need, or whether the person may need to repent of deeds, which have caused their family to isolate them for a time.
Giving gifts
Honor is food.
Yoruba proverb (Nigeria)84
84 www.gambia.dk.
Expats often travel to villages. Here the rules for respectful and generous behavior are quite different from those in urban settings. Expats have opportunities to be generous on their own terms as people are less likely to just ask for things. At least this is my experience. Village people often live on the margins of existence so that simple gifts will be greatly appreciated. These would include small amounts of sugar, salt, tea, powdered milk, and other staples, depending on the local diet. In some areas kola nuts are a standard gift that are very well received. However, one needs to be careful in how these gifts are given. One couple handed their hostess a half-kilo of sugar. When her husband heard of it, he was so humiliated that he beat his wife. In his mind the unsolicited gift implied that the visitors did not think his household was capable of properly hosting guests. After seeking advice, the couple would quietly pass a small paper bag with tea, sugar, rice, etc. to a small child and tell them to take it to the kitchen (personal communication, 2014).
Unsolicited “services”
Dust on the feet is better than dust on the behind (from sitting).
85 Shawyer 2009:11.
A common experience in cities is encountering young men offering a “service” for which they expect to be paid, but which the expat invariably does not want. Services include washing and/or guarding your vehicle, cleaning your windshield, carrying your groceries or other bulky items, shining your shoes, and opening your car door, among others. A slightly different situation is when street vendors insist on selling you something. Mostly, these “services” indicate a lack of regular employment and a consequent desperation for finding a means of existence, though it may approach “extortion,” as in a guard who threatens to damage a vehicle if he is not paid. Life for the expat is made easier if such “services” are anticipated and the small amounts of local currency usually required are readily at hand so that making change is not an issue. Sometimes the same guard or grocery carrier is always available at a particular locale and a kind of relationship can develop, giving a sense of acquaintanceship rather than mere annoyance.
Sometimes certain services are a way through which poorly paid employees can supplement their income. An administrator demanded that an office courier wash the office vehicles when there was little to do, rather than waiting around. The courier argued that this was not his job, but this made little sense to the American office manager, who did not understand the implications of assigning a menial job to an employee of higher status. Neither did the American understand how employment roles are specialized and multi-tasking by employees is little known and resisted. The courier felt such deep guilt over taking money away from the guard, that he paid the guard to wash the vehicle from his own pocket (personal communication, 2014)!
Men vs. women
With wealth, one wins a woman.
Ugandan proverb86
86 Richmond and Gestrin 1998:49.
The literature related to African women and expatriate women in Africa, and similar topics, is huge. To begin to do it justice would warrant a separate volume. A very short list of relevant titles could include the following: Arnoldi and Kreamer 1995; Barber 1997; Cummings 1991; McNee 2000; Mikell 1997. The purpose here is to provide a short, introductory discussion of a few helpful points that are relevant to Western women living or working in Africa.
When expats, whether anthropologists or other inquirers of culture, explore local customary life, they are often told by men that African women are unreliable in providing cultural information, except in topics that are specifically part of women’s domains. African men think that women are ill informed because they are absent from the discussions of those in positions of authority, or have not been through male initiation rites. Therefore they must be ignorant of the important inner workings of society. To some degree this masculine bias is understandable. Most African societies are patrilocal. There, when women marry they go to live in their husband’s compound, surrounded by his male relatives and their wives, to whom the in-marrying woman is not usually related. Although women may be alert to the way their own natal family functioned, they are not accustomed to explain, and may not be immediately conversant, in the way their husband’s family works. However, Nigel Barley found women to be helpful, accurate sources of cultural information for at least two reasons.
Whereas men regarded themselves as the repositories of the ultimate secrets of the universe and had to be cajoled into sharing them with me, women knew that any information available to them was unimportant and could quite happily be repeated to an outsider. They often opened up new fields of enquiry for me by alluding in passing to some belief or ceremony I had never heard of, that the men would have been reluctant to mention.87
87 Barley 1983:76.
De Jong also found that women even had detailed knowledge of men’s affairs. Even though many men believed that spirits would punish society if women learned about ritual secrets, women were frequently able to provide him with details of men’s secret societies.88 And of course when it comes to the affairs of women, men have little knowledge or interest, so women researchers have a great advantage when researching women’s and family