and private messages. I find that this gives me time to prioritize, to consider people’s requests, and to give them a solid answer, either yes or “No, but thank you so much for thinking of me.” It’s good to be a bit elusive, I think. Be reliable, but not infinitely available.
Consume News Consciously
I love our global connectedness. I love staying abreast of trends and learning about the world. I consider it part of my civic responsibility to stay up on current events.
For me, the best way to get the news is from a good, old-fashioned newspaper. Does that mean that I am usually learning about the world’s latest violent action the day after it happened? Absolutely. I prefer it that way. I have to be careful what images I allow into my brain, because I can never get them out. I’m not really interested in live coverage of the latest car chase, mass shooting, or political dustup. I find discretion really is the better part of valor, and being able to learn about the world’s events at my own speed — not as dictated by the ceaseless twenty-four-hour news cycle — helps make me a calmer, more peaceful person.
Be careful what images you allow into your brain, because you can never get them out.
The purpose of a news show is to keep you watching the news. The news — whether it’s on radio, TV, or online — is entertainment. It is written and produced in a way intended to keep you engaged and emotionally stimulated. This means that the people reading and commenting on the news are entertainers. No matter how highbrow (or lowbrow, for that matter) they may seem, they are acting out a story for you. That’s why they structure the news the way they do, and why they run those teasers. (In your best news-announcer voice, say this: “Scissors. They cut things. Will they cut you? Find out at eleven!” Or, “Stay tuned and find out which popular TV star just got a haircut that could change everything!” Now make up your own.)
I invite you to take a look at the amount of time you spend on this kind of entertainment (known in my house as info-ad-u-edu-tain-u-ment). Examine the voices you are allowing to influence your opinions, and consider whether the thoughts you have about current events are your own. When you let other people — particularly people in the entertainment industry — form your opinions for you, or tell you what’s important, you give away your power.
Seek Out New Media
We are fortunate to live in a time when artists are able to control the means of distributing their work. We don’t need to wait for a record label to discover the next great jazz musician and deliver a CD to our local store. The jazz musician can put her music out into the world all by herself, in her own way, and you can get it straight from the source. Better yet, you can engage in a conversation with her, and with her other fans, who, since they clearly share your excellent taste, will probably be people you’ll enjoy getting to know.
There are so many wonderful, quirky, interesting, and uplifting pieces of art, writings, music, podcasts, games, movies, puzzles, blogs, novels, poems, craft projects, meditations, videos, and lectures available right on your laptop that you need never be constricted by mass-market entertainment again — unless you want to, because there is some terrific mass-market stuff out there, too.
You no longer need to live in a big city to experience diversity. Culture is everywhere, and not just “high” culture. You can so easily find out about whatever interests you — whether it’s deep-sea fishing or Maori tattoos or carving radishes into roses. The human community is telling stories, and it is our privilege to listen.
Refuse to be bored.
Get out of your rut. Doing, watching, or listening to the same things every day makes time feel like it’s slipping right through your fingers. On the other hand, the hours you spend learning and enjoying great culture will enrich your days and enliven your nights. Give yourself some new memories.
Write Everything Down in Your Calendar
Schedule your morning walk. Schedule your visit with a dear friend. Schedule your summer vacation, your trip to see the family (because spending time with family, while enjoyable in its own way, is not a vacation and should not be treated as such). Schedule your reading time, your clearing off your desk time, and your flea-market browsing time. If you put it in your calendar, you increase the chances that you will actually do it a thousandfold.
I hear from people all the time, “I wish I had time to write a book.” You do. You are just spending that time on other things. So if you want to write a book, start putting it down as an unmissable appointment. Decide that there’s no such thing as writer’s block, sit down, and put words on paper. They don’t have to be good words. In fact, they probably won’t be. But you can’t make it better if you never start. And you can’t start if you never set aside the time.
You can’t make it better if you never start.
I still keep a datebook, because I have yet to find a better technology. I find paper and pen to be easy to use and reliable, with the added benefit that once I’ve written something down, I am much more likely to remember it. I can also leave myself important visual clues when I mark my calendar by hand.
For example, today’s entry has the word write in tall, stretched-out letters that take up the whole area in order to cue me that I shouldn’t even think about doing anything else today. Tomorrow is Friday, and I have a big X through the last part of the day. I don’t like to work on Friday afternoons, so I block out that time each week to play hooky. Yes. I actually schedule my goofing-off time. Because if I didn’t schedule it, I would be sitting at my desk, not really working but not really enjoying the free time, either. Being in that gray area is neither productive nor restful, and I suspect it’s why so many people feel burned out. They don’t experience the energy surge that comes with doing good work or the recharge of really walking away from work for a while.
I also maintain a Google calendar because my team needs access to my schedule, but I can’t say I refer to it very often. Either way — analog or digital — experiment until you find a system that you enjoy using so that you actually use it.
Caution: this calendaring activity might trigger your inner teenage rebel. “No way, man,” you think, “I need my freedom! I’m not going to be tied down. I just want to go wherever the day takes me.” I know the feeling. But examine, for a moment, the results that strategy has gotten you. If you’re getting everything done and enjoying plenty of free time and you’re not constantly stressed out that you might have forgotten something important, then congratulations, you can skip this suggestion. But chances are, you are not really enjoying your freedom. Chances are, you are feeling chaotic and always running a bit behind. Give this writing it down in the calendar thing a try. I think you’ll find that when you schedule your playtime, as well as your work time, you get to enjoy both.
Structure is freedom.
LITTLE CHANGES ACTION STEP: Pick a heretofore neglected activity that’s important to you and put it in your calendar. No backing out, even if it starts to seem impractical later on, okay?
7.
HAVE YOU NOTICED that there’s a worldwide game of “overwhelmed poker” going on? It sounds like this:
Person 1: “I’m so overwhelmed. I had to get up at 6 AM to work on my presentation and then corral the kids, race to my client meeting, get across town for a luncheon, and now I won’t get home until after 7 PM.”
Person 2: “Oh, me, too. I’m sooooooo busy it’s really overwhelming. I actually had to get up at 5 AM to finish my new client proposal, and then I had all these meetings, and then of course there’s the big project I’m in charge of, and I can’t possibly leave work until at least 8 PM.”
Person 3: “You two are so lucky. I’m so much busier than both of you. . .”
It’s