The Art of Connection. Michael J. Gelb

starting out in my career in London, I was invited to tea by the CEO of a large mining company at the fabled East India Club in St. James Square. I’d never been to a British gentlemen’s club before and was concerned about the proper etiquette, so I consulted my friend Yogesh, an immigrant from Mumbai who was an expert in all things British. Yogesh’s most important advice, which he shared in his flawless Oxford English, was: “Whatever you do, do not thank the servants.”

      What a perfect evocation of the hierarchical, stratified world of the British Raj! Mahatma Gandhi (1869–1948), the catalyst of the demise of the Raj, offered very different counsel when he was the editor of a magazine in South Africa and a woman wrote to him to ask advice on assessing the character of the fiancé her parents had arranged for her. Gandhi suggested that rather than focusing on his treatment of her, she would learn much more if she observed the way he treated his servants.

      Over the years I’ve worked closely with a number of people as they rose through the ranks of large organizations, and a number of these individuals became CEOs. All of them, without exception, are generous, kind, and considerate toward people at all levels. They all have what Nobel Laureate Rudyard Kipling (1865–1936), in his poetic meditation on what it means to be a self-actualized human, called “the common touch”:

      If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

      Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch…

      In a 2016 interview, Schwab CEO Walt Bettinger describes the most important lesson he learned in business school. It came through a final exam for which he had prepared diligently, in the hope of maintaining his perfect 4.0 grade average, by memorizing formulas and details of case studies. Bettinger was surprised when he was handed just one blank piece of paper the top of which read: “I’ve taught you everything I can teach you about business in the last ten weeks, but the most important message, the most important question, is this: What’s the name of the lady who cleans this building?”

      Bettinger explains: “It was the only test I ever failed.…Her name was Dottie, and I didn’t know Dottie. I’d seen her, but I’d never taken the time to ask her name. And that had a powerful impact.…I’ve tried to know every Dottie I’ve worked with ever since. It was just a great reminder of what really matters in life.”

      A MASTER OF THE COMMON TOUCH: “YOU ARE ONE OF US.”

      Jack Meyer, affectionately known as “Bear,” is a successful Santa Fe–based art dealer, real-estate investor, accomplished chef, and all-around legendary character. A master storyteller, he seems to know everyone, everywhere, and shares spellbinding stories to match any occasion. But he offers much more than just talk.

      Do you need tickets to a show that is sold out? Need an appraisal for a painting you inherited from your grandmother? Need to raise money for your start-up business? Would you like to meet the coolest people at Burning Man? Need help negotiating a deal that will result in benefits for all parties? Bear can help.

      Many years ago he was an entrepreneur in the global cannabis trade, championing the mind-altering and healing properties of the then contraband substance. He transitioned to other means of support after a short stay in prison. The prescribed sentence for his offense was more than twenty years, but he charmed the court into extreme lenience. In prison, he organized and prepared home-cooked meals and served as the unofficial facilitator of a support group to help prepare his fellow inmates for life outside.