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“Author David Prosen speaks generously and with wisdom out of his own experience of same-sex attractions: without love, all the rules and commandments in the world fall flat. It is not for us to fix or change the person with same-sex attractions; our place is simply to love them. Just like anyone else, the person with same-sex attractions first needs to hear that his heavenly Father cares for him. Prosen reminds us of the power of affirming love in our own experience. When someone takes the time to just be with us and tells us the truth in a compassionate way, we are more likely to receive it. Each of us, then, as spiritual mothers and fathers, may be a vehicle for Christ’s affirming love shining in the loneliness of same-sex attractions.”
— Suzanne Baars, PhD
Catholic psychotherapist and founder of the Baars Institute
“David Prosen has written a powerful booklet that I wish every Catholic adult would read. With incredible authenticity and transparency, he takes the reader into the interior reality — so often marked by wounds and pain — of those who experience same-sex attractions. Yet he also points the way to hope and healing in Christ, and the ways the Body of Christ can be a source of healing. This book will change the way you see the world.”
— Dr. John Bergsma, PhD
Catholic Bible scholar, author, speaker
“With compassion and honesty, David Prosen reveals an empowering vision for sharing the liberating love of Jesus Christ with men and women trapped in the culture’s false messaging and still longing for authentic love.”
— Lisa Mladinich
Host of Shalom World TV’s
WOMAN: Strong Faith, True Beauty
Accompanying Those with Same-Sex Attractions
A Guide for Catholics
David Prosen
Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division
Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.
Huntington, Indiana 46750
Except where noted, the Scripture citations used in this work are taken from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible—Second Catholic Edition (Ignatius Edition), copyright © 1965, 1966, 2006 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Every reasonable effort has been made to determine copyright holders of excerpted materials and to secure permissions as needed. If any copyrighted materials have been inadvertently used in this work without proper credit being given in one form or another, please notify Our Sunday Visitor in writing so that future printings of this work may be corrected accordingly.
Copyright © 2019 by David Prosen. Published 2019
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All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts for critical reviews, no part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without permission from the publisher. For more information, visit www.osv.com/permissions.
Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division
Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.
200 Noll Plaza
Huntington, IN 46750
1-800-348-2440
ISBN: 978-1-68192-405-2 (Inventory No. T2298)
eISBN: 978-1-68192-420-5
LCCN: 2018963944
Cover and Interior design: Amanda Falk
Cover art: Shutterstock
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Dedication
To my mother, who has modeled for me what unconditional love is, and for the many prayers she offered for me daily. Thanks, Mom, for not giving up and losing faith in God and in me as your son. Your faith in the midst of much loss in your life has been a bright beacon of hope to me. I believe your prayers are the reason why I’m still alive, both physically and spiritually. Thank you, Mom. I love you very much.
To my friends Paul, Ron, Ana Lisa, Peggy C., and other loved ones who have touched my heart. We were never meant to live out this journey to Christ alone. It is friends like you who have helped me, inspired me, and believed in me. Your authentic love has been a reflection of Christ’s love for me. Thank you.
To my sister, Darlene. I love you so much and miss you daily, even after all these many years. And to all others who have touched my life and are no longer here, especially both my biological father and my stepdad, Joe, who was a good Catholic male role model for me. Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.
Contents
I. Are We Asking Ourselves the Wrong Question?
II. The Root of the Church’s Divide
IV. The Gift of Authentic Love
1. Authentic Love and Gender Wounds
2. Authentic Love and the Father Wound
3. Authentic Love and the Mother Wound
V. Ways to Show Authentic Love
Foreword
Father John F. Harvey, OSFS, who founded the Courage apostolate in 1980, would often say that “our best ambassadors are our members,” men and women who, living with the experience of same-sex attractions, had chosen to pursue the virtues of chastity and friendship according to the mind of the Church. Like Father Harvey, I have a deep respect for these brothers and sisters of ours, who speak very candidly about a profoundly personal experience — often to a skeptical or even hostile world — and testify to the power of God’s grace and providence to bring healing, peace, and freedom to their lives.
This kind of testimony is essential in our day, as questions about sexual identity, sexual attraction, and sexual intimacy come up ever more frequently in both secular and Church environments. The design and will of God