into my eyes. I squinted and tried to jerk my head away. Everyone smiled. I closed my eyes.
I could feel the warmth of a hand against my cheek. I struggled to open my eyes and focus on the face before me.
“Stanley.” My throat burned, but I was able to speak.
“Shhh, don’t try to talk. You were intubated. You had a tube down your throat. That’s why it’s hard to talk. Let your throat heal, and then you can talk.”
“Where am I?”
“You are in the hospital, baby.”
“Why? What happened to me?”
“Juliet, rest.”
“No, Stanley! Tell me what happened to me!”
“Okay, okay, baby I will tell you. You were attacked outside of your apartment.”
“I remember. Someone hit me in the head.”
“Yes, someone hit you in the head.”
“How long have I been here?”
“Three weeks, Juliet. You have been here for three weeks.”
I looked at him in disbelief. “Why? Why so long? What’s wrong with me, Stanley?”
“Nothing, baby, nothing is wrong with you. You are going to be okay. You have a fractured skull. You had surgery to remove bone fragments from your brain. You have been in a coma. The doctors were not sure you were going to make it. But I knew you would.”
Stanley held my hands to his face and cried. I cried too. I went on to spend two months at Mt. Sinai Hospital. I required physical therapy to regain the strength to stand and walk again. I also worked with an occupational therapist to regain fine motor skills to my hands, lost due to the damage done to my brain. Stanley never left my side. My mother, Liam, and Angela were also there every day. Stanley’s mother and father came to see me as well. After my release from the hospital, I was sent to a rehab facility where I spent the next year of my life. Stanley practically lived there with me. If he wasn’t at the hospital, he was there with me.
My body healed over time. My soul took a bit longer…
I began to have nightmares. A man would be holding me down. Pulling at my clothes. Pressing his hand over my mouth as the full weight of his body prevented me from moving. I would try to scream. But I couldn’t. I tried to fight him off, but the pain in my head would cripple me. I was so terrified. Then I would hear a voice, a gentle, calming voice. I would feel a tender and warm hand against my cheek. And when I opened my eyes, Stanley would be there to hold me. He would hold me until I stopped shaking. He would hold me while I cried. He would hold me until I fell asleep again.
The dreams never stopped. Although they did get less frequent.
Stanley never failed to be there to save me.
The day I walked out of my apartment, a man was waiting for me. He struck me in the back of my head with a lug wrench. The first time lacerating my head, the second time fracturing my skull. He found my keys, unlocked my door, and pulled me back into my apartment. He sexually assaulted me, then left me for dead in the floor of my apartment. Stanley went to the café that morning to share our signature breakfast. When he arrived, I was not there. He knew in his heart something was wrong. My coworkers confirmed that it was unlike me to just not show up without calling. Stanley ran the two blocks to my apartment. He saw the blood on the concrete outside my door. He kicked my door in and found me lying there, lifeless. Stanley performed CPR on me, saving my life.
They never caught the man who did this to me.
* * * * *
My wife, my friend. What does my life mean without you? I knew, the day I first saw you, I knew. You were working at that little café. They had great coffee. I went there every morning before school. Then one day, there you were. I watched you taking orders and topping off coffees. You were so bright. So full of life. Everyone loved you. You would use your tips to buy the homeless guys out front breakfast. How kind you were, so warmhearted. You would act silly to get people around you to laugh and lighten up, anything to get them to smile. I went there every day early, just so I could see you. Then one day, I just had to introduce myself. I looked into your green eyes, and I was hooked. I know you didn’t think much of me. But I thought to myself, Stanley, that is your future wife.
I decided to be patient and let the universe bring us together. And it did.
Our life together was everything I hoped it would be. You gave me two beautiful girls. You made a fine home for us. We were blessed to have you love us. This little house, you saw its potential when everyone else had forgotten about it. It has your personality all over it—classic, vibrant, colorful, timeless…
I was blessed to have you love me. Our time was cut short. We were cheated out of growing old together. I would give anything to change that. But I can’t. You are really gone, and I can’t bring you back. But I will always love you and keep you in my heart. I will see you every day in my memories of you. And I will count the days until we are together again.
Goodbye for now, my sweet Juliet.
* * * * *
Juliet O’Brien Foster Epstein died in the wee hours of the morning, before the sunrise, as she slept, January 2, 2016. The cause of death would be a brain hemorrhage caused from a bone fragment that lacerated a blood vessel. This could not have been prevented. It could not have been reversed. She was given more time on October 14, 1991, the day she died the first time. When Stanley begged for her life, he fought against death and won. Juliet was granted twenty-five more years.
Stanley did everything he could do to tear her away from the grip of death a second time. But in these cases, seconds are not permitted.
This time, Juliet would stay dead.
* * * * *
What would I tell you if you could hear me? If I was able to talk to you one more time? I would want to let you know that I am still here. I would ask you to stay. More than anything, I would want to tell you how much I love you.
That sounds so cliché, but it is so true. I thought I had more time. I didn’t know that my last words were truly the last words you would ever hear me say.
I watched you, Stanley. I watched you as you tried to awaken me, as you tried to revive me. I heard you beg me to come back, heard you scream my name. I was there next to you. I tried to come back. I didn’t want to leave you. And I didn’t. I am still here, Stanley.
I watch you sleep at night. Sometimes, I even think you can hear me. I want so badly to touch you. To feel you again.
I love you so much my darling, Stanley. Can you hear me, my love? Can you feel that I am here with you? I will never leave you…
You smile.
Did you hear me?
Your eyes remain closed. Your smile fades. I lie next to you and watch over you through the night. These times with you are a precious torture. They are all I have left. I watch you day after day and night after night. I see the lines deepen in your face. Your hair fading from gray to white.
You look so lonely. You are not, my love.
God dammit, Stanley, you are not alone!
Your glass falls to the floor and shatters. You look around the room and quickly stand to your feet.
Did I do that? Oh my god, I think I did that!
You are puzzled. You walk to the kitchen to get the broom. I follow you. You turn, looking around the room. You stare right into me. Your eyes soften. “Juliet.”
“Yes, Stanley, it’s me. I am here right in front of you.”
You look down. “Juliet, I miss you so much. The memories in this house…They are all I have left of you.”
“No,