If you’ve got a lot going on in life it can feel overwhelming. One of the reasons people find having a lot to do stressful is that mentally they are carrying their entire day and everything they have to do in it into each and every moment. If they are dealing with a particular stressful situation, they carry it with them in every single moment. No wonder that is stressful; or that it is impossible to be focused. But even the busiest of days or most stressful times can only happen one moment at a time.
A practice that I call the single-breath practice is to take one deep, conscious breath as often as you can throughout the day.
Try it now. Just take one, deep conscious inhale, and then exhale.
That’s it. It’s that simple. Use it to remind yourself that you can only be where you are, doing what you can, and that you can get through your entire day by taking it one moment at a time. You do not have to do it all at once. It can be helpful to use it as a way to create transitions throughout the day. For example, you can take a deep conscious breath as you arrive at work to mentally transition out of your journey. Or take a deep conscious breath as you arrive at a meeting to bring your full awareness to it. If you notice you have lost focus during the meeting, you can use it again. Use it as you leave the meeting to transition your focus and energy into what you are about to do. If an email comes in that makes your blood boil, take a deep breath (or several) to help you to step back for a moment before you respond. When you leave work at the end of a day, take another breath and mentally finish the day to make your transition into your evening.
Honestly, this simple practice can change your life! I highly recommend trying it for a few weeks. I once gave this practice to a one-to-one coaching client I was working with. As a managing director of a large organization, he was struggling with the pressure of long hours, lots of work-related travel and the multiple demands coming at him from all areas of the business. I suggested that he used the single-breath practice to keep bringing himself into the moment he was in, and to put space between a demand coming at him and his response to it. He said it helped him to recognize that his desire to respond and resolve issues quickly meant he often did and said a lot of things that weren’t as effective and productive as they could be. Using the single-breath practice transformed the way he managed both his team and his personal life. I have found it to be life-changing. I use it to bring my focus into the present moment. I ask myself: ‘What am I bringing to this moment? Is it what I want to bring to it?’
When you begin to be more fully present, time opens up for you. Busy days feel more manageable and less hassled. You don’t have to do your whole future right now; just this moment. That’s all. I will help you to do this in Part 4 – Living more mindfully.
Hurrying is a state of mind
Have you ever noticed that when you are pushed for time you feel a bit hurried and a bit impatient with anything that holds you up? Have you also noticed that when you are not pushed for time you can feel a bit hurried and a bit impatient with anything that holds you up?! Mmmmmm. Feeling hurried can become a mindset.
Many years ago, I had an aha moment about being busy and feeling hurried. It occurred when I was competing and I was running on a treadmill in the middle of a hectic day. I had raced to the gym to fit a 30-minute session in and still had a packed day ahead of me. I noticed that I felt hurried while I was running. Then I had the realization that, whether I felt hurried or not, 30 minutes is 30 minutes. Clearly I had scheduled it into the day so logistically I had the time to do it. Whether I felt hurried or not, the time impact on the day would be exactly the same. It was a turning point for me because that was the first time I realized that having a lot to do and feeling hurried are not the same thing. It is possible to be extremely busy and not feel hurried or stressed. It is also possible to not be at all busy and to feel hurried and stressed. It’s a mindset shift. If your full awareness is in the present moment and continues to be so, then even the busiest day won’t feel hurried.
How often do you race into a meeting a little late, having rushed from another meeting? Do you feel hurried when that happens? How present is your focus when your day is spent that way? For many people, this creates a bit of what I call the jet-lag effect, in that it takes them time to fully arrive in a meeting because their mind is catching up from racing from the previous one. Then towards the end of their current meeting, their focus is already leaking out into their next appointment because they feel the time is running out in this one. If that is a typical day, it means they are rarely fully in any of their meetings. That is a huge disadvantage. The whole day can have a feeling of trying to catch up. It is no wonder we miss essential information or forget things when our focus isn’t fully there in the first place. Taking a deep breath to bring our awareness into the moment opens up so much more efficiency and effectiveness. It feels so much better too.
# The hack
Use the single-breath practice throughout the day to remind yourself that you can only be where you are, doing what you can, and that you can get through your entire day by taking it one moment at a time. Whatever you are facing in life, you only have to face it one moment at a time. Use it to bring your awareness into the present moment and ask yourself: ‘Am I mentally hurrying right now?’
When you are chronically stressed your nervous system is constantly on high alert. This means that as you go about your daily life, you are likely to be defensive in all that you do. In the days of being chased by a predator, our sympathetic nervous system was triggered in a fight-or-flight response so that we could survive. Assuming that we survived, and once the predator had gone, our sympathetic nervous system would switch off and our parasympathetic nervous system would take over, bringing us back to homeostasis. The problem with the chronic stress that many face today is that our nervous system stays on alert – meaning that we are always on edge in case of any looming predator, bosses or dodgy people. Chronic stress means our rest, digest and repair system is suppressed so we are not functioning as well as we could be. It is only a matter of time before the wheels start to fall off.
The good news is that we do have an amazing, free tool that we can use to switch this response off. It triggers a relaxation response, allowing our body to get on with rest, digest and repair, while effectively reducing stress. It is so simple that people dismiss it before they have even tried it. I didn’t dismiss it though, and it has completely changed my life.
That tool is the breath.
Yes, of course, we are all breathing, but the way we breathe can have a significant effect on how we feel. When I used to teach yoga, I found it quite fascinating to watch the way people breathed. It was such a clear indicator of those that suffered from stress and anxiety. Upper-chest breathing is common in those that are anxious, and I notice it in many people when I work in various organizations. The tell-tale sign is no movement in the abdomen when breathing, along with tension in the shoulders.
In our natural, most efficient way of breathing, the diaphragm moves freely in the breathing process. As it contracts and moves downwards during inhalation, the stomach naturally moves outwards. When we breathe out, the diaphragm moves upwards and the stomach moves back towards the spine. For various reasons, stress being one of them, the diaphragm ceases to move effectively, and we begin to recruit the shoulder muscles in an attempt to lift and expand the ribcage. While we would recruit these secondary muscles if we were running from a predator; we shouldn’t be when sitting at rest.
Practising diaphragmatic breathing (aka belly breathing) can deactivate the fight-or-flight response, triggering the rest and digest part of the nervous system. Importantly, for your sanity and ability to function in the world, this also enables a return of rational thinking and signals to our entire system that we are safe.
Try it now.
Loosely rest your hands on your abdomen around your belly button. Take a deep breath in and notice if your stomach is moving outwards into your hands. As you breathe out, notice if it moves away from your hands, towards