discovered, but you end up believing that’s how life runs.
If you comply or rebel, you will most likely end up in the same place. Out of integrity, held captive by a treadmill you feel is impossible to escape. You can’t take in the scenery, or decide the route. At no point are you truly in control. In settling for the outside life, some feel the uncomfortable unrest of the itch, some switch off to it altogether. A path is chosen veering away from one’s potential. In time people forget what they are capable of.
SO, WHERE IS THIS GOING?
Maybe part of you has gone “That’s me!”, or something inside you just woke up again. Maybe you are reflecting on the choices you have made and how you live, or you could convince yourself you are right.
This chapter will set out what the itch is, how to discover it, and what is possible when you find it and give it the kiss of life.
What is the itch?
Interviewing people for the Every-Year Itch Podcast, I ask every guest to name some tips for others who are contemplating making a change or who are looking for something different. Stepping outside the physical comfort zone is the number one advice. From taking oneself into the great outdoors, to taking a trip abroad or going to a workshop on a topic outside your field of reference. Every Podcast participant who has gone and actioned their itch recommended starting by broadening one’s horizons. The world and everything in it is far bigger than you can ever imagine from your usual spot. By realising how small you are, maybe you can become aware of the small voice inside your heart.
The head shouts and the heart whispers. The head dictates what is supposed to be done to satisfy the outside life. The heart connects you to you, your talents and dreams. Start with the heart. Put yourself in a place where you can hear what it says. It’s where your itch lives.
Questioned about the Every Year Itch, people respond generally in one of three ways:
1.
No idea what my itch could be. Never thought about it. There were things I dreamed about, but that’s not realistic is it? That is for fortunate people. My parents told me to… just do what’s sensible/ with that kind of education you will always have work…
2.
I have an inkling of what my itch could be. I used to say that I wanted to… or I was always intrigued by… If I had the chance then… But how do you make that happen and still pay the bills? I wouldn’t know where to start.
3.
I know what my itch is. I think and daydream about it. Imagine what it would be like if I did that every day (a dream come true). But then I talk to others and their eyebrows rise. They ask me how I will afford it, what it will mean for my career.
In the working world companies fall into three every-year itch “categories”. People who run companies are people. They have the same worries and wonders:
• We are so busy with keeping turning over and putting out fires, it leaves us no room to think about how to do things differently.
• We have some ideas, but no time to work them out. If we were to spend time on them, would we be indulgent? It may lead to nothing; maybe we are just fantasising. It takes so much energy to stay afloat.
• We know the itch and how we could do things differently, but how to transition into it? Would we take unnecessary risk, use up funds and waste time?
THE HEAD SHOUTS
THE HEART
WHISPERS
The itch keeps knocking softly on your door. What if your itch is your innovative, talented, creative and hungry self? The best of you, fuelled by life’s energy, undeterred by insecurities or opinions. The part of you that never tires and is eager to explore and learn? There’s not a person I’ve worked with who didn’t have an itch in some way or shape. And there is not a person who – when they scratched it – wished they hadn’t done it.
I-T-C-H =
INNOVATIVE
TALENTED
CREATIVE
HUNGRY
Discovering your itch
Do you know what your itch is? Have you ever wondered? If you are truly honest with yourself are you convinced that at this moment in time you are firing on all cylinders and capitalising on the fullest potential available to you? Are you fulfilled; has the world seen what you are capable of? The stories I hear from people day in, day out, is that this is a long way from being the case.
To practically know where to start with this seems like a very difficult task and throws up initially more questions than answers. What, how, where and when? First of all listen to your itch. Can you hear what it’s saying? You have more knowledge about this than you think. For not listening to the itch would automatically mean living your life or running your business based on parameters that have been set by society, other people or what is in fashion at the time.
DO SOME WONDERING...
Have a go at answering the following questions. This isn’t a test!
1.
Do you have dreams that you have given up on or stuck in some old shoebox in the attic?
2.
If you hadn’t been “sensible”, or followed your parents’ advice, what would you have chosen to do for a living?
3.
What would you do if nobody stopped you, you had all the money in the world and there was no chance of failing?
4.
If you had to say to someone in three words what you are about, what would you say?
5.
Where would your energy best be invested for great results?
I always see people struggle with these kinds of self-awareness questions. They draw a blank. The most important person to fully understand, is you. If people weren’t so busy running, shouting or keeping afloat, these are the kinds of questions that deserve thinking about.
Living from the outside in
Maybe you have always just felt that following the well-trodden path before you was what you were supposed to do. You built a life as modelled by your parents or grandparents and the community you grew up in, without questioning why. You were taught that things were done a certain way and that specific steps needed to be taken to reach your goals. You learned that a successful life is built upon experiences and knowledge acquired, whether from school, university, work experience, apprenticeships, travel… everything coming from an external source. Therefore, you were programmed to look outside of yourself for answers instead of listening to your itch.
My parents very much bought into the idea that you worked hard Monday to Friday 9 to 5 and never took a day off. If there was the very odd occasion that I was out with my parents during an otherwise normal working day, they would spend the entire time questioning where those people came from. “Don’t they have jobs to go to?” Later when I became self-employed and ran my own businesses, they never quite got to grips with the fact that I didn’t get a conventional pay-cheque. I worked with hundreds of clients and in companies where I achieved great successes with people. It wasn’t until for a short time I had a contracted job with a start and finish date, complete with monthly salary, that my parents sounded genuinely proud of me, as they understood the parameters.
Have you been programmed with a belief system that is based on “you start out a nobody and become somebody”. A system based on the conviction that people need educating, that medals, diplomas and certificates make us who we are? Do you measure by established standards and rush out for external validation? It prohibits us looking closer to home,