Sex in a Tent. Michelle Waitzman

New Zealand, is great when it comes to the technical challenges of backpacking. If he and his girlfriend encounter a tricky route section, he takes charge. “She thinks all trees look alike, and we’ll go back along a trail just a few months later, and she won’t remember the way at all,” he says. “So when there’s a question of which way to go, she just defers to me, even if she thinks I’ve got it wrong.” Dimitri also makes a point of showing his girlfriend where they are on the map so that she feels comfortable with the route.

      Dimitri may be great at the technical skills, but he’s hopeless at logistics. So when it comes to planning and preparation, his girlfriend is chief. She gets all of the gear together, buys the food, and then packs everything neatly and efficiently. “If it was left up to me, I’d be scrambling around at the last minute, trying to cram stuff into packs,” Dimitri says. “I even forgot the map once. So now she just makes her lists and checks them twice, and I do whatever she tells me until we leave the house.”

      It took them a while, but Dimitri and his girlfriend finally developed a system that allows each of them to employ their talents. “We have learned how each other interacts and reacts, and our individual strengths and weaknesses, so we know each other better,” he says. “And we encourage each other in the areas we need to strengthen.”

      They’ve learned to accept their skills differences and work together. But it can be difficult for many of us to admit we’re not so good at something. If your partner is a hopeless navigator or a terrible camp cook, try not to be too judgmental. Hurt feelings can ruin a trip, and aren’t really necessary. At the same time, it’s important for both of you to be open to honest criticism from your partner. Being defensive about getting lost isn’t going to help anything, so if you’ve made a mistake it’s best to admit that you’re not perfect.