beginner and, little by little, you will teach him or her how to be a camper. Make sure you explain why things are done the way they are, rather than just bossing your partner around. Feeling useless is bad, but feeling like a slave is worse. Beginners, ask lots of questions if you don’t understand why your partner is doing something a particular way. It could be important for safety–or it could just be a personal preference. The sooner the beginner learns how to do camping tasks, the sooner the experienced one can stop doing them all, and the more time the two of you will get to spend on the fun activities, like christening the tent.
Offer Lots of Encouragement
If you’re not used to it, carrying a backpack or paddling all day is a hell of a lot of work! Keep this in mind and remember to stop and see how your partner is doing now and then, and offer some encouragement. Tell your partner how far you have already gone, and how close you are to your next stop. Keep it positive, and stop for extra hugs and kisses along the way. Your partner wants to feel appreciated, and to know that you’re glad he or she is with you. Don’t take this for granted, but say it out loud and say it often: “I’m so happy that you agreed to try this.” “I’m so glad you’re here with me to see this.” With luck, by the end of the trip, your partner will be saying it right back to you.
Definitely Not the Beginner’s Route
“ We had our hearts set on camping next to this creek, but it was more than 100 feet below us, deep within a canyon that seemed inaccessible. Finally, we found a wash that led into the canyon. Once we climbed down the first 10 feet of the wash, we had to cut our switchback down the steep walls of the canyon to get to the cliff. From there, it was a sheer, 10-foot drop to a sandstone shelf on which we planned to camp. Hiking down the switchback was frightening because the dirt was loose; one wrong step, and I would have fallen over the edge of a 75-foot cliff. I decided to take that switchback on my butt because it was safer. Then, in order for us to get to the bottom of the cliff, we had to lower our backpacks by rope and rock climb down an alcove in the cliff.
The next morning after breakfast, we packed up camp and headed out of the canyon. First, we had to lift the backpacks up the cliff by rope. Then we had to climb back up the switchback to the wash. I did so on all fours because the dirt was too loose for me, and I dropped my hiking stick. It landed next to the river. Scared and angry, I stood in the wash and tried to catch my breath. John asked me if I was okay; I shook my head. He asked me if I wanted him to get my hiking stick out of the canyon; I nodded. By the time he returned with the stick, I had finally recovered from my fright, and I hugged and kissed him, happy to be alive. ”
—Heather Verley
Usually, the hardest part of converting someone into a camper is getting them out on that first trip. After that, you shouldn’t have any trouble making plans for other camping trips. Just remember the old cliché (because it’s actually true in this case), you never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Ready for Action
Once you’re both feeling comfortable with the camping basics, you can let your sense of romance and adventure start to roam free. By breaking out of your routine, your sex life can take new directions you may not have considered before. Ever had a Tarzan fantasy? Tarzan can hide up in the treetops, observing the human female that has wandered unknowingly into his territory. The first he has ever seen! He can’t communicate with her in the usual way, never having learned to speak. Jane is afraid but intrigued by the rugged stranger. Who is this wild man? What is he going to do to me? Tarzan curiously compares her body to his own, feeling his way around her. He must remove her clothing to see what she is hiding beneath it. His instincts begin to take over, and he soon realizes what these new feelings are telling him to do. He backs her up against a tree and makes love to her, discovering the sex act for the very first time.
You’ve got to admit, it’s a far cry from the usual routine. The possibilities are endless if you’ve got an active imagination. How about Han Solo and Princess Leia celebrating among the Ewoks? Or you could be two contestants on Survivor, trying to escape from the prying eyes of the cameras to have a private night together. This is your chance to get out of the bedroom and shake things up!
Is your partner convinced yet? Read on to start making plans for your first (or next) hot trip into the wilderness. Once the two of you bring a passion for the outdoors into your relationship, there’s no limit to where you take it.
Chapter 2:
PLANNING A TRIP
that Won’t End Your Relationship
I love my boyfriend. I love camping. So how is it that in the middle of a camping trip with Gerhard, I found myself so miserable that I was in tears? Let me tell you, he was pretty anxious to find out the answer to that question, too.
After a long day of driving out to the campground in heavy rain and fog, it was pouring rain when we arrived. All through the process of trying to pitch the tent and make dinner in a downpour, he kept bossing me around, telling me how to do every last little thing. After the stress of the drive, and his back-seat driving (from the front seat), it was more than I could take. I was cold, wet, frustrated, and starting to question our entire relationship. Clearly, Gerhard didn’t think much of me if he couldn’t leave me to do the least little task my own way. How could I have a fulfilling relationship with someone who thought I was a moron?
When he cornered me and asked what was wrong, he was more than a little surprised to find out what was going on in my head. It turns out he had no idea I was so bothered by how much he was trying to “help.” I realized then that he couldn’t possibly have known, because I never said a word about it until I burst into tears. Somehow, I was counting on him to read my mind, something we girls do more often than we like to admit. Gerhard agreed to back off and let me do my own thing more.
By the next day, the sun came out, and I felt like an idiot for thinking that our whole relationship was falling apart because I had a bad day. But when it comes to camping, it’s easy to blow things out of proportion.
Ross Morton of Outward Bound agrees that things can get more tense when conditions are not what you’d hoped. “The wilderness experience can make or break relationships,” he says. “It’s an amazing thing to share moments in the bush. But it can be a challenge when you’re stuck on a mountain for three days in the rain.”
Author Kathleen Meyer sees conflict on a camping trip as a kind of litmus test for the whole relationship. “If one of the couple is fearful of experiencing new things, or feeling uncomfortable with sleeping on the ground or whatever, I think if there are other parts of your relationship that aren’t solid, it ignites those parts,” she says.
On the other hand, Meyer says, the problems you face can also help strengthen your bond. “If your outdoor excursion with your partner is at all arduous, and your relationship should survive it, then that bond you create out there can translate into home life and helping you balance things,” she says. “It’s a good way to find out if you’re going to last with somebody. It’s better to find out sooner than later!”
Anytime two people are in each other’s company 24 hours a day, there is a pretty good chance that they’ll get on one another’s nerves and start to fight, even if they love each other. Out in the middle of the wilderness with nobody else around, this could be a real problem—and not just at the time; the effects can be felt long after. You can get into a fight about all kinds of things on camping trips: getting lost, forgetting gear at home, where to go, how long to stay, how fast to travel, what to eat. But there’s no need to let this stuff get in the way of having a great trip together, and staying in love with each other. After all, spending time outside together puts you in new and challenging situations, which give you an opportunity to discover something new to admire about each other. A lot of the arguments that come up can be avoided by planning well.
The Destination vs. the Journey
One of the main differences in the way people envision their camping trips is that some of us prefer to plan for a specific destination, like reaching the top of a mountain or completing a trail, and other people are all about