Whatever Floats Your Boat
Chapter 8: Holding Hands While Backpacking
Romantic Gestures in the Wilderness
Selecting Secluded Trails
Frontcountry Foreplay
Building a Desirable Campsite
Boinking in the Backcountry
Returning to Civilized Society
Appendix 1: The Most Romantic Campsites in North America
Northwest US
Northeast US
Southwest US
Southeast US
Alaska
Hawaii
Western Canada
Eastern Canada
Appendix 2: The World as Your Outdoor Bedroom
Mexico and South America
Europe
Asia
Africa
Australia and New Zealand
Appendix 3: Absolutely Everything You Need to Get Outside and Get It On
Books, Toys, and More for Wild Couples
Singles Outdoor Resources
Gay and Lesbian Outdoor Resources
Camping
Backpacking
Paddling
Gear and Clothing
Parks
Cooking
Introduction:
How Camping Can
IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE
I know what you’re thinking: How could a book on camping possibly improve your sex life? Admittedly, it sounds unlikely. For most, camping is about challenging ourselves against nature, with only a thin layer of Gore-Tex to protect us from the elements. Traditionally, people went into the woods to tough it out, not to get it on. Most likely, your idea of a romantic weekend away involves crisp linens and room service—and there’s nothing wrong with that. But once in a while, even the bottle of sparkling chilling in a stand next to the rosepetal-covered bed in your five-star hotel gets a little mundane. Maybe you and your lover are ready for something different. Something wilder. Something outside the walls of your bedroom. Something just plain outside.
The exhilaration of the wilderness can really fan our flames when it comes to love. In reality, the pursuits of the great outdoors and great sex are not all that different. Think about what people look for in great sex: spontaneity, adventure, mystery, excitement, uncertainty. If you asked Sir Edmund Hillary why he “mounted” Everest, he just might give you the same list.
If your sex life is lacking excitement, the problem might be the scenery, not the performers. Camping together will definitely change the scenery. After all, it’s something we do to put some adventure back into our lives—and if you believe the dozens of best-selling books, talk shows, and advice columns on improving your sex life, adventure is the one thing we could all use a bit more of between the sheets.
Consider Heather, an Arizona camper who is so enthusiastic about her outdoor escapades that she maintains a website entitled “Naked in the Woods.” Heather and her husband, John, make it a point to “play naked” whenever possible on their outdoor adventures. In their nine years of camping together, they have had sex on the top of a mountain, on hiking trails, in the water, and, of course, on a beach. According to Heather, the whole idea of being someplace where they could get caught is enough to keep them seeking out more romantic adventures on our public lands. And indeed, she says, “We’ve been caught many, many times! That just makes it more exciting!”
Not everyone is so comfortable with public exposure, but these two have found the perfect way to rejuvenate their sex life by taking it away from their regular routine. According to Esther Perel, a therapist who counsels couples in the urban wilds of New York, the domestic comforts of home can be a real turnoff. In her book, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic (HarperCollins 2006), Perel looks at the things that can get in the way of erotic desire for long-term couples. She thinks it’s a great idea to trade mating in captivity for mating in the wild now and then. With no bedroom, no TV, no phone, and no schedule, you’ll be free to let your imagination take over.
“We tend to associate home with the place where you feel serious and responsible; it’s not a place we associate with playfulness,” Perel says. “You can make home predictable, but you can’t make nature predictable. It can bring out playfulness. When you go into nature, you go to play.”
That sense of adventure and play is what gives sex its spark. And the more challenges you face in the wild together, the hotter the results. Climb a mountain with your lover, and you may find your libido rising right along with the elevation. “At home, there’s nothing to defy, to resist, to conquer,” says Perel. “Home is comfortable, it’s easy. Nature adds an edge.”
Priya, a nature-lover from South Africa, couldn’t agree more with Perel’s theories. “Worry is a great passion killer, and as nature relaxes you, chances are just much more favorable for romance,” she says. “In addition to that, usually you have far fewer distractions and responsibilities when you’re out camping; therefore you have more time to spend together, which is usually very limited in any work day.” Priya even finds the exertions of camping sexy. “The working up a sweat and getting physical relates to exactly what you’d be doing in the bedroom, not so?”
Kathleen Meyer, a longtime outdoorswoman and author (she wrote the popular tome How to Shit in the Woods, about the other call of nature), has all but abandoned her traditional bedroom. She and her partner, Patrick McCarron, love the outdoors so much that even at home they prefer to sleep outside on their uncovered deck. “The air feels so good compared to the indoor air,” Meyer says. “And having the sky open to you is tremendous. We watch the sky at night, and we know a lot of the constellations—they’re like friends up there. It kind of puts you in closer touch with the universe and makes you feel more a part of it.”
Not many of us can bring our camping practices home like they do, but imagine how wonderful it would be to snuggle in your double sleeping bag every night, enjoying fresh air and a starry sky together. When Meyer and McCarron do leave their Montana home and venture deep into the wilderness, it gives them an even greater thrill. “There’s nobody but us and the wolves and the moose up there,” Meyer says. “And just to feel the world as your own, to be that isolated, I find that thrilling.”
While Meyer and McCarron seem to have it all worked out, I have to admit that my own first experiences mixing camping with romance didn’t quite live up to my wildest fantasies. Mostly they involved a lot of muffling noises with body parts, Therm-a-Rest rug burn, and some rather inconvenient cramping. But I just knew that if I could get beyond the “technical difficulties,” there would be plenty of excitement and hot adventures waiting for me.
One morning,