night.
But, even in this idyllic atmosphere, I was fed a steady diet of television shows and movies that presented city living and brash lifestyles as the way to go. I thought all of the possibilities and fulfilling careers were to be found in bigger, more alive cities. Surely, the people in the city were more interesting, intellectual and exciting.
My sleepy little town could not keep me. By the time I graduated from high school, I was convinced my small community was holding me back.
COMPETITION AT HOME
There was another factor motivating me to move out of my hometown. Although, I did not feel competition among my classmates, friends or coworkers (during my years employed by Kentucky Fried Chicken and my dad’s shoe store), I did feel significant competition and inferiority at home.
My mom, dad, and sister were all extroverts. Although I am sure my parents’ outgoing personalities subconsciously affected my view of my nature, it was my younger sister’s strong and vocal personality and others’ responses to it that most influenced my self-perception: namely, that it was better to be a boisterous, center-of-attention type than a quiet, sensitive remain-on-the-sidelines type.
The new city dwellers of the 1920s learned to stand out from their peers by adopting high-voltage personalities and a willingness to be the proverbial squeaky wheel. My sister was born with those skills. And they worked for her. She garnered the enviable and fun nicknames of “imp,” “character,” and “pistol.” It was hard not to notice her. It was also hard to get noticed when around her.
As a tender-hearted, read-in-her-room, play-with-dolls, kind of child, I had to really stretch myself to stand out. As teenagers, my sister and I both had a lot of friends, but she played team sports, was on the homecoming court, and was never without a boyfriend. I did not lack for social activities. I was a pom-pom girl and had a circle of six or more close girlfriends. I felt safe in these groups. I had the occasional short-term boyfriend. I was not a standout, but I was happy, except when compared to my sister.
WHY EXTROVERSION IS ADMIRED
Extroverts still hold the top seat for ideal personality, although introverts have gained ground in the last few years, thanks to Susan Cain’s book, a positive correlation between the Internet and introvert skills, and a new appreciation by everyone for downtime and solitude due to their rareness in this frenetic world.
One reason society still prefers the extroverted personality type is the perceived and proven idea that extroverts are more financially successful. In February of 2015, Truity Dyometrics did a survey regarding career income and personality type. Personality type was determined by answers to the survey and their correlation with the sixteen MBTI (Myers–Briggs Personality Indicator) types. According to the results, extroverted types (those with an E as the first letter of their four-letter Myers–Briggs code) made the most money and coincidentally managed the most people. Extroverts are more apt to take managerial positions, which often earn larger salaries.
Salary isn’t everything, though! The Truity questionnaire also revealed that job satisfaction did not correlate with greater income.
Charisma and the ability to influence others with overt communication are two qualities deemed by the general public as representative of leaders. Leaders earn more money.
This is not to say introverts are not effective leaders. Two separate studies facilitated by Wharton Business School professor and author Adam Grant and two colleagues, professor Francesca Gino of Harvard Business School and professor David Hofman of the Kenan-Flagler Business School at the University of North Carolina, showed introverts to be the most effective managers or leaders of innovators and self-directed employees. Introverted leaders are more apt to listen to their subordinates, stay open to suggestions, and grant them autonomy. This ultimately results in superior outcomes.
Employees looking for direction fare better with extroverted leaders. Extroverted leaders inspire action in passive employees.
I took the Myers–Briggs Personality Type Indicator test for the first time as a young twentysomething working for office furniture manufacturer Steelcase as a sales administrator. Much to my frustration, I neither have those results, nor remember the exact four-letter code I received, but I do know the first letter was an I, for Introversion.
Surrounded by humorous and outgoing salespeople, I did my best to keep my scarlet letter to myself. I wanted the coveted E for extrovert because E meant well-liked, fun, popular, and even successful. I meant forever in the shadows as the administrator behind the higher-earning, more striking salesperson. It didn’t matter that I did not want the job of salesperson—I once got so nervous, I vomited prior to a face-to-face walk-through with the end-user at the close of a job. It only mattered that I had the more quiet, inhibited personality type that most likely would not rise very high in the corporate standings.
Even today, in a seemingly introvert-friendly culture permeated with technologies that allow us to “connect” via the Internet and texting, the pace and quantity of connections feels more extroverted than introverted. Traditionally introverted careers, such as writing, require social media presence and repeated exposure of the public to you and your work. Authors must develop marketing platforms or branding to showcase their writing, style, and persona. I’ve seen a hierarchy of introvert writers and social media personalities develop based on their number of followers and their social media presence. Those introverted authors who more aggressively market themselves, engage in more collaborative projects, and present lively personalities edge out the traditionally introspective authors.
As an introverted writer, it’s difficult for me to watch colleagues reach and announce 100,000 followers on Facebook and market yet another webinar for the masses. It almost feels like a betrayal of our type and, at the same time, makes me feel like I am falling behind. Why can’t I promote and publish as much as Author A? The answer is that I don’t have the time or energy to do that. My introverted nature has reached its maximum output between running a household, parenting, coaching, writing, and maintaining an intimate relationship. My social energy is cooked.
DOES EXTROVERSION EQUAL HAPPINESS?
Several studies claim extroversion correlates with happiness. Who doesn’t want maximum happiness in their life? But how is happiness defined in these studies?
In a study titled “The Happiness of Extroverts,” done by Michael Argyle and Luo Lu of Oxford University in 1990, happiness was found to have three components:
1. Frequency and degree of positive affect, or joy; 2. The average level of satisfaction over a period; and 3. The absence of negative feelings, such as depression and anxiety. These components can be shortened to positive affect, satisfaction, and the absence of distress.
The Oxford study of 130 subjects focused on the subjects’ level of extroversion and their effects of joy and satisfaction. Introverts were simply defined by their absence of extroverted traits, primarily the reduction or absence of social interactions and activities.
Data was collected on happiness, social activities, and personality (extroversion–introversion) via the Oxford Happiness Inventory (OHI), a social activity scale which inquiries about enjoyment and frequency of participation in activities with varying levels of interactions, i.e. “taking a long bath”, “a quiet chat with a friend,” or “going to the pub,” and the extroversion scale from the EPQ (Extended Project Qualification, a test taken pre-university in the United Kingdom, similar to the SAT or a more subjective equivalent).
Introverts were found to withdraw more from social situations and extroverts were found to be happier than introverts. Gender was not a significant factor, except that females were found to enjoy party settings more than males. An interesting point found in the study was that merely judging an activity as enjoyable did not correlate with happiness. Participation did correlate with happiness. The biggest predictor of unhappiness? Withdrawal from social activities. The more withdrawal, the bigger the effect on your happiness, principally the less happiness experienced.
The Oxford study gave