Praise for You Can Be Happy No Matter What
“You will find Dr. Carlson’s new approach very helpful — solid, sensible, and filled with loving guidance.”
— Dr. Wayne Dyer, author of
Your Erroneous Zones
“You Can Be Happy No Matter What will appeal to those caught in the tangles of outmoded thinking. It speaks simply to us in a way that’s most fitting when we want to move out of dysfunctions into robust, effective living.”
— Marsha Sinetar, author of
Developing a 21st-Century Mind
“A profoundly simple, hopeful, and human book about what’s available to us all — happiness.”
— Joseph Bailey, author of
The Serenity Principle
Also by Richard Carlson, PhD
The Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Series
Don’t Worry, Make Money
Easier Than You Think
For the Love of God (with Benjamin Shield, PhD)
Handbook for the Heart (with Benjamin Shield, PhD)
Handbook for the Soul (with Benjamin Shield, PhD)
Shortcut Through Therapy
Slowing Down to the Speed of Life (with Joseph Bailey)
Stop Thinking and Start Living
What About the Big Stuff?
You Can Feel Good Again
Copyright
New World Library
14 Pamaron Way
Novato, CA 94949
Preface Copyright © 2006 by Richard Carlson, PhD
Revised edition Copyright © 1997 by Richard Carlson, PhD
Original edition Copyright © 1992 by Richard Carlson, PhD
All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, or transmitted in any form, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review; nor may any part of this book be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or other, without written permission from the publisher.
Cover design: Tracy Pitts
Text layout and design: Tona Pearce Myers
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Carlson, Richard, 1961 May 16–
You can be happy no matter what : five principles for keeping life in perspective / Richard Carlson . -- 15th anniversary ed. p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-1-57731-568-1 (pbk. : alk. paper)
ISBN-13: 978-1-63353-539-8 (ebook: digital)
1. Happiness. 2. Contentment. I. Title.
BF575.H27 C375 2006
97-15902
158.1—dc22
2006033782
First printing of this edition, January 2007
ISBN-10: 1-57731-568-5
ISBN-13: 978-1-57731-568-1
Printed in the United States on acid-free paper
New World Library is a proud member of the Green Press Initiative.
Distributed by Publishers Group West
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Dedication
To my beautiful children — may you always be happy no matter what.
Table of Contents
Part 1: Principles
Chapter 1 The Principle of Thought
Chapter 2 The Principle of Moods
Chapter 3 The Principle of Separate Realities
Chapter 4 The Principle of Feelings
Chapter 5 The Principle of The Present Moment
Part 2: aplpying the Principles
Chapter 6 Relationships
Chapter 7 Stress
Chapter 8 Solving Problems
Chapter 9 Happiness
Chapter 10 Habits and Addictions
Chapter 11 A Checklist For Your Life
Preface To The 15Th Anniversary
TIME REALLY DOES SEEM TO FLY! It’s been fifteen years since New World Library published the original edition of You Can Be Happy No Matter What. Around that time, my wife, Kris, and I had one two-year-old, Jazzy, and Kris was pregnant with our second daughter, Kenna. Today, the girls are teenagers, and the older one is preparing to leave for college. All of us — you, me, and everyone else — have gotten older. Our families, relationships, careers, and lives have changed dramatically — physically, financially, spiritually.
Recently, someone suggested to me that what I wrote in this book fifteen years ago was perfect for its time. But he felt very strongly that we now live in a completely different world — a more dangerous and less certain world than ever before. “It’s far more difficult today to be happy than it was back in the nineties,” he said.
While I certainly would agree that the world has changed a great deal, particularly since September 11, 2001, I’m happy to report that our capacity for happiness is the same as it has always been. Being happy is an inside job. As Wayne Dyer says in the foreword to this book, “Many people mistakenly believe that circumstances make a person. They don’t. Instead, they reveal him or her.” That statement was true fifteen years ago, it’s true today, and it will be true fifteen years from now. We’ve always been able to point to certain people who face extremely difficult circumstances yet live extraordinary, happy lives. Conversely, of course, we can find plenty of people who enjoy wonderful circumstances full of every conceivable blessing yet live lives of perpetual unhappiness, even misery.
While circumstances do indeed change, both individually and collectively, what don’t change are the universal principles that, when truly practiced, point us in the direction of happiness.
When our minds are still and quiet, one of the first things we discover is that our natural state is one of inner peace. This contented state of mind is always present whenever we are not interfering with it, not using our thinking as a weapon against ourselves. And when we experience this peaceful state of mind, it allows us to be happy, despite our imperfect circumstances and the chaotic world. What’s more, when we learn to be happy and we have what we need emotionally, we are better equipped to make a positive difference in the world. In other words, we can’t give what we don’t have; if we’re not happy, we can’t contribute to the happiness of others.
This book explains five extraordinarily simple yet profound principles that, once understood and practiced, pave the way to a more content, peaceful, and happy life. All five principles explain how our minds operate and can, depending on how we use them, determine our level of well-being. Of course, no one is happy all the time, and you won’t be after reading this book. You can, however, learn to get yourself back on track much more quickly than before. You can learn to avoid the type of