Observing the Feasts
Behaviour on ‘Īd al-Aḍḥā
Special Instructions for ‘Īd al-Fiṭr
Chapter 12: Marriage
The Search For a Wife
The Woman’s Right and Responsibility in Choosing a Husband
The Engagement
The Marriage Contract
The Wedding Party
Conjugal Relations
Advice for Men
Advice for Women
The Wedding Feast
Polygamy
Chapter 13: Births
The Announcement
Congratulations and Visits
Seventh-Day Celebration
Circumcision Ceremony
Chapter 14: Giving Names and Addressing Others
Giving Names
Addressing Others
Chapter 15: Social Life
Good Social Relations
Talking and Listening
Language Preferred in Speech
Listening
Swearing
Nadhr
Laughter
Weeping
Jokes
Behaviour When Meeting Others
Manners of Greeting
Asking Permission to Enter Another’s House
At a Friend’s House
Receiving Guests
Inviting Others to Dine
When Invited to a Meal
Visiting the Sick
Group Meetings
Forms of Sitting
Women’s Conduct Outside the Home
Celebrations
Behaviour Toward Relatives
Behaviour Toward Neighbours
Gifts
Chapter 16: Behaviour in Various Situations
In the Mosque
At the Cemetery
On the Street
Chapter 17: Funerals
Things That Need to be Done When Someone Dies
Escorting the Funeral
Burial
After the Burial
Condolences
Mourning
Chapter 18: Cemetery Architecture
Location
Interior Grave Design
Exterior Grave Design
Chapter 19: Travelling
Chapter 20: Sports
Chapter 21: Treatment of Animals
Bibliography
Index
Transliteration Table
Consonants. Arabic
Initial: expressed medial and final
Urdu and Persian the same except the following:
Vowels, diphthongs, etc.
Since the beginning of history, human societies, even primitive tribal communities, have all developed rules to regulate the conduct of personal and social relations. The oldest book on manners, The Instructions of Ptah Hotep, attributed to the ancient Egyptians, records the instructions of a father to his son about proper behaviour. Every people has observed its own rules and norms; manners have changed tremendously over the centuries, indeed, even within a single people they have varied considerably from one place to another at one and the same time. Regarding Muslims, it is true that many elements of Islamic manners still dominate different spheres of daily life in the Muslim world. Nevertheless, it is also true that alien elements have had a wide and increasing influence. This is due primarily to a weak interaction with the Islamic faith. But the fact that no standard text on the subject exists has also contributed. This work is a response to the need for such a text, making the details of Islamic manners readily accessible to the largest possible audience.
The importation of certain elements of Western manners into the Muslim’s daily life has come out of the recent and continuing interaction with the West. But even before that interaction had been established, the Islamic way of life had been subject to non-Islamic elements, chiefly the result of innovation. To meet this challenge, a Muslim must Islamize his conception of manners by deriving them from the basic sources of Islam, the Qur’ān and the Sunnah. He must distinguish between normative Islam and historical Islam, between Islam and non-Islam; he must point to many practices which, ungrounded in normative Islam, yet prevail among Muslims. Having done this, the way ahead will be clearer for Islamic communities to rid themselves of cultural influences that have penetrated into Muslim life over the centuries.
The importance of teaching and training Muslim children to act in accordance with Islamic manners at all times and in all places cannot be over-stated. It is hoped that this book will, insha’Allah, help to fill the gap noted above, and serve as an accessible handbook to determine what manners suit a particular occasion or circumstance. For ease of reference, each chapter is organized in point form and intended to be complete in itself. Inevitably, where themes common to different chapters are treated, some points have had to be repeated: the alternative, much tedious cross-referencing, we judged to be a greater hindrance to the objectives of the book.
Finally, the author would be grateful to readers for any advice on errors of omission or commission. Comments should be directed to:
Dr.