Marwan Ibrahim Al-Kaysi

Morals and Manners in Islam


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from the decaying corpse.

      11. Animals, in direct relation to man, are intended to be used only for specific purposes such as provision of food, labour, transport. They are not meant to be used by man for his entertainment as, for instance, when animals are set against each other.

      It will be immediately obvious that, without the restraint of ādāb al-Islām, all these means become ends, destroying a proper sense of values and priorities. Clothes, houses, parties, gifts, drain the resources of individual and community, as people (having lost sight of the true function of these things) spend money in a fruitless endeavour to prove to others their greater purchasing power; in their world the ability to waste goods is a proof of personal success and of the success of the society to which they belong. The consequences of self-adornment or amusement becoming ends in themselves can be measured in the fortunes devoted to these activities by the vast majority in Western countries and, by increasing numbers in Muslim countries. But the real cost of so defying the realities of human accountability under God’s law, is the loss of the soul of each individual who hurries fretfully from one escapism to another, seeking to be always excited or distracted and, whenever he catches himself alone, feeling profoundly empty and wretched.

      Ādāb al-Islām are designed to avoid such ungrateful waste of human potential, and encourage man to exercise that potential in full conformity with the true purposes and realities of his life. The rules of conduct for a Muslim life contain sound wisdom, whether viewed in religious, cultural, social, economic, psychological or even medical terms. It follows that, for a healthy, balanced life, individual and community should apply these rules comprehensively and conscientiously. Wherever they are applied, two things must always be borne in mind, namely kindness and consideration. Among the root meanings of ‘Islam’ (besides surrender or submission) is peace; a ‘Muslim’ is one who has submitted to the decrees of God, who has sought to make peace with God and His creatures. Moreover, the Prophet defines a ‘Muslim’ as one who does not harm others by hand or tongue.

      According to a saying of the Prophet, kindness is required in every instance of Muslim conduct. One of tile main ends of ādāb al-Islām is to train people to be kind and gentle in every matter and toward every thing. The following examples will illustrate:

      1. Speaking should be loud enough to be audible to those addressed, never louder.

      2. Bad or objectionable language should be avoided.

      3. Laughter should not be characterized by loud or unpleasant sounds.

      4. Weeping should be restrained and polite, not hysterically loud or abandoned.

      5. Eating and drinking should be done at a gentle, dignified pace.

      6. It is proper for a Muslim to restrain his anger, keeping himself within the bounds of courtesy.

      7. Parents should give their children beautiful, meaningful names, and avoid names indicating difficulty and sadness.

      8. Tenderness should be a most essential element in the lovemaking process.

      9. Smiling at other people when meeting them is recommended.

      10. Looking pleasantly at others while conversing with them is required as polite conduct.

      11. It is necessary that a Muslim be gentle when criticizing others for something they might have done.

      Inflicting any kind of harm or offence physically, psychologically or morally must be avoided. In the words of the Prophet, ‘There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.’8

      Anything done or said with disregard for others is not considered proper Muslim conduct. In fact, good behaviour in Islam depends to a large extent on showing consideration toward others. The contribution of ādāb al-Islām in this regard is enormous. Just a few examples will illustrate:

      1. Disgracing or reviling others’ beliefs, directly or indirectly, is forbidden.

      2. The main principle governing one’s behaviour on the road is to avoid harming, impeding or disturbing others, including such acts as spitting or making loud noises..

      3. Reviling another or speaking of his mistakes is disapproved, even if a Muslim is reviled by him and even though his faults are spoken of by him.

      4. Making jokes, using impolite or sarcastic terms at the expense of others, is prohibited.. Character assassination through insinuation, backbiting and undesirable conjecture is also prohibited.

      5. Distasteful expressions should be avoided while eating, as they might disturb or upset others.

      6. In a group of three people, two should not talk privately as this might offend the third.

      7. Reviling the dead is forbidden as this causes hurt to their living relatives.

      8. In socializing with others, their comfort and well-being must be kept in mind, for instance, a person’s clothes or mouth should not smell bad; after eating onions or garlic, it is preferable to avoid socializing.

      9. To squeeze between two men in a mosque or to step on others while proceeding to a place, is forbidden, as this will annoy them.

      10. To relieve oneself in still water, in the shade, on the road or in any public place, is forbidden, as this might prevent others from making normal use of such facilities and/or be a health hazard.

      11. When shoes are taken off, they should be put in a place where they will not disturb others by their smell.

      12. When sneezing, the mouth and nose should be covered; when yawning, the hand should cover the mouth; when speaking, one should not speak loudly, as this might annoy others. Even the sitting posture should be such as will not offend others, as does, for example, turning one’s back to them.

      Among the main aims of ādāb al-Islām is to help in establishing and maintaining healthy social relationships. As will be seen, among the necessary attributes of the ideal Muslim personality, are honesty, respect for others, honouring one’s word, restraint of anger, patience, modesty, kindness, etc. These virtues eliminate mistrust and create trust, the necessary foundation upon which alone sound relations can be built and developed.

      In the Islamic view it is not enough simply to avoid doing harm to others, nor even to wish for others what you wish for yourself. What is required of Muslims toward each other is mutual responsibility and positive assistance.

      As will be seen, formality in the manners of Islam is reduced to the barest possible minimum. This enables freer social intercourse, makes the social machinery run more smoothly and facilitates meetings and visits, for isolation is not recommended in Islam. Muslims are encouraged to meet each other, for that strengthens social bonds and defends the individual against the psychological consequences of social isolation. Moreover, Muslims are encouraged to meet frequently. It is the duty of the host to be hospitable and generous to his guest. Acceptance of an invitation to a meal is recommended and, in the case of an invitation to a wedding meal, acceptance becomes obligatory.

      Visiting the sick, taking part in funeral processions, offering condolences to the bereaved, comforting and encouraging them, providing food for them, exchanging gifts with other members of the society, shaking hands when meeting or parting, sharing other happy occasions such as weddings and births, etc., are all ways to strengthen and develop social relations. Particular importance is attached to such exchanges between relatives and neighbours.

      Islam has recommended Muslims to hold feasts from time to time and invite others to these occasions. It has also prescribed holding feasts